To say three is worse than two?

[Sleeplesssleepseeker]

Before I start I should say that I love both my children and I am eternally grateful for them...

...but Hell's Fish in Batter! My 3 yo is hard work right now.

I look back with misty eyes at the (supposedly) "terrible" twos and wonder where my sweet little boy went. Yes there were some tantrums at that age but it's nothing compared to what three has brought along!

I often have days where genuinely struggle to enjoy spending time with him - the not listening to a WORD I say, the answering back (God help me for the teenage years!), the whining, the CONSTANT talking, the demands for things, the strops when he doesn't get his own way. Oh it's driving me potty!

I'm constantly wondering if I'm just a shit parent who is getting it all wrong, but from speaking to others it does sound like three is a tricky age generally. Why does no one tell you this though? There's so much talk of the terrible twos, and no mention of the horrible threes!

Although when he's on form he is a pleasure to be with, chatty, bright, funny... but the other side of the coin is very frustrating.

So AIBU to say that three is harder work than two?

Much preferred 3, they started getting some independance and start being left alone at classes and activities so you Can have

For us, our first also started being slightly tired out by the progression to an educational setting (pre school environment) learning to swim etc and we all
Got some sleep for the first time
In 3 years

My daughter was probably worst at one and then has got easier every year since (she's 4).

DS is a bit terrible twosy.. but generally chilled.. I hope he doesn't get worse!

Mine are 17 and 19. The 17-yo is almost impossible right now. They were both very much hard work at various ages. I got through these obstructive phases knowing these are appropriate developmental stages, and not personal attacks on my authority. Those stages eventually end, the dc are fun for a while, and then another stage appears. If you are able to deal with the behaviors with a little bit of detachment, almost as if they were not your own dc but just children you had to help to develop sound decision making skills, I find it really helps.

Yes it's so hard, it's the constant asking questions that does my head in the most to be honest, where's daddy, where are we going, why have we stopped (at traffic lights), are we there yet, where's that lady going, who lives in that house, why are you doing x, y and z. Drives me absolutely round the bend!!! And the stamping of the foot when be gets told no and he goes "not fair". Constant demands for food. Wants to get every single toy he owns out but play with non, am trying to teach him that when he's finished with 1 thing he puts it away and can get out another, he won't have any of it. He goes into these little almost trances where he just cannot hear a word you are saying and is running around laughing doing whatever it is I've just asked him not to.

But on the other hand, when he's being good, he's amazing, so funny and clever and loving. Weighs out all the bad stuff for me.

3 was so so so hard.

4 is still hard, but sometimes glimmers of light at the end of the tunnel.

Of course, they may be the headlights of an oncoming train

My DD turned into a bit of a little shit when she turned 4, but after a couple of months the angel reappeared. My 9 month old is already hard work!

3 and 4 were the Worst for me.
My eldest is 10 so I still have teenage years to navigate.
But 3. 3 is grim.

Oh god yes.
And no one tells you about the hell that is 3 either
It felt like Both of my eldest two went to bed the night before their third birthdays and some sort of crazy biological shift happened overnight and they woke up having morphed into their children of Satan
Neither of them had particularly “terrible twos” - they had a few epic tantrums, but were relatively pleasant 2 year olds.
DC1 as a 3yo was fucking hideous. There’s no nice way to put it. I genuinely didn’t enjoy much of that entire year as she was such hard work. She seemed to drift out of that phase as she approached her 4th birthday though. And now she’s in school full time, we enjoy the time we do spend with her at home because she’s got all the brain exercise and stimulation she craves from school, and is a really sweet little girl when she comes home.
DC2 turned 3 a couple of months ago and is a completely and utterly feral kamikaze child I spend around 80% of my day trying to stop him from killing himself, and the other 20% calling his name repeatedly until he decides to acknowledge I’m even speaking to him

Oh and I’ve got to navigate “3” all over again when DC3 gets there

Oh please OP don’t. I had the most horrendous day with DC today. I am 39 weeks pregnant and have been crying and frustrated all day. He will be 3 soon.
Please don’t tell me this is getting worse because I was close to a breakdown today.
Constant challenging.

My son was a lovely little boy until he was three. We were hit hard by terrible threes. He was an absolute tool. So belligerent, so stubborn. He did eventually improve. He’s 20 now and can still be an absolute bell end at times. Id like to tell you it gets much easier but your stress and worry just changes with the passing years. At 20 I worry about him driving and whether he’s managing his money well. I wouldn’t swap him for the world though 💙

I can’t vote as mine is not 3 yet, can someone tell me the poll so far because I am terrified

I've just finished listening to the audible 'How to talk so little kids will listen'

It's really good and would deffo recommend a listen/read, OP.

Our 2 yo stormed off to her room the other day. She’s coming up to 3, send help!

Autumntoowet I regret to tell you that YANBU is winning 84/16!

I have two boys and a girl. Both my boys were harder at 2 than 3, but DD was the other way around.

My 3 year old is a nightmare at the moment. He is gorgeous and I love him so much (etc etc) but he is a massive pain in the arse. Nothing is right, nothing is to his liking. He will argue bloody anything until he is blue in the face. Such hard work. My elder two were difficult at 3 as well, but as they are twins they didn't seem to think the whole world revolved around them quite so much, as they had always had to share to a degree. My youngest genuinely thinks he is in charge of everyone and everything

@BlackSwanGreen I can’t believe it 😞😞😞😞
My goodness so today’s behaviour will be repeated or made worse?
I can’t 😞

Oh god my dc is 3 next week. I thought the twos have been difficult!

It doesn't help that he's the size of an average 5 year old, so when he kicks off, he makes me look like a right tit because his physical strength is ridiculous!

Not long ago I had to carry him away from nursery after waiting out a tantrum for over 30 minutes in the car park. He then repeatedly punched me in the face with a hard zebra toy which was fun. Had hoof imprints on my face for days.

Two minutes later in the car "yay home time, I love you mama"

I'm struggling with the prenage years. Let's be honest, it's all tough!

@PaddingtonBrown I think we have the same child. I could have written all of that.

Today has been full on, stropping over EVERYTHING.
I lost my shit at teatime this afternoon when he refused to help tidy up the playdough, so I sent him to wash his hands instead while I did it, while also finishing dinner. He locked himself in the toilet, managed to spill wee out of the potty everywhere (still not sure if deliberate or not), then still refused to wash his hands. When he did eventually wash them he got upset because there was some soap on the tap handle. During this fiasco dinner was burning/boiling over, and the baby was screaming at me.

DH came home to me being a shouty mummy and DS crying.

Not my best day.

@Flippingnorah I have that book. It helped a little bit. Empathising with him makes no impact at all, he gives no shits. Making things into a game does work some of the time, but it's exhausting and makes everything take FOREVER. Sometimes you just want the say "Please put your shoes on so we can leave the house" and have it happen, right?
I find the most useful approach is "I'm going to count to five and if you don't stop/start X then Y will happen" that works 95% of the time. I try to keep Y as a logical consequence if possible. Also giving choices helps a bit too.

Glad it isn't just me who feels like this - pass the wine eh (except I'm co-sleeping with the baby so can't..
argh!).

God don’t say this, I have a lovely 2 year old who has her moments and I can’t cope with a terror!

It never gets easier. The proms just change. Wait til teenagerdom hits you!

We are goin through terrible twos too
And this is not the kind of thread I would have liked to read, maybe ask MN for a trigger warning on the title

I always think that the twos are just a practice run for the threes! I found that age hard work but now dd1 is 14 I look back at that time with fondness!!

But all I ever hear from people who chose to be a parent is how awful it is. How did you not notice? ScaryMommy confessions site, any post here, listening to any parent, all say the same thing-it gets harder, especially when they’re teenagers and adults, apparently they need you intensely emotionally and financially, not so much wiping their arseholes. People need to listen to women, and people who chose to have a kid, listen to them, believe them, don’t believe the half hearted tag-onto any sentence ‘.er...all worth it tho!’ that’s just because women are indoctrinated from birth to be mothers, don’t think too much about it, just have babies, they’re cute, who cares about their future on a dying planet, or your mental health or recovery from producing a human, just keep having those babies-is what is rammed into our psyches from infancy.

Good luck and all, I have no advice, according to parents it’s all just awful.