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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what age you would let Dc travel alone on train?

77 replies

AaandBreathe · 29/11/2019 07:09

DC is used to travelling on trains. It would a be a 25 minute trip end station to end station. I would put on train, MIL at other end to meet.

OP posts:
moomoogalicious · 29/11/2019 07:49
  1. Lots of kids round here get the train to high school
bruffin · 29/11/2019 07:49

Year 7 as mine had to get train to secondary

lovelyjubilly · 29/11/2019 07:49

I would consider letting my 9yo do that. She's very sensible.

MissBPotter · 29/11/2019 07:50

Interesting to read this, my SiL point blank refused to let Dniece get the train to us even though she was being dropped off at the station her end and we would meet her the other end. DNiece is almost 14 and I though that was a bit ridiculous. It’s only about 40 mins, no changes. I think it would be fine op if it is a straightforward journey and is during the day.

notacooldad · 29/11/2019 07:53

Mine was about 11&1/2 ( during first year of high school) when I let him go with friends to a BMX skate park which was a 45 min train ride by himself.

deplorabelle · 29/11/2019 07:54

That sounds like no problem OP.

I encouraged my DS to get the bus to town on his own towards the end of year 6 to get ready for commuting to secondary school. At 13 he goes to neighbouring city to meet a friend for the day. He's desperate to go to London on his own but I'm holding back for now (though in reality he's more than capable)

SuperMeerkat · 29/11/2019 07:55

DS was 12 when he regularly started doing a 2 hour train journey to see his dad. We’d drop him off and his father would collect, easy.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 29/11/2019 07:56

If you trust him, let him try.
Remember in theory those 11yos off to Secondary school could have a birthday at the end of August so not much older in reality.

Lindy2 · 29/11/2019 07:58

If he's getting several practice goes with your MIL first and then when travelling alone being put on the train and met off it, I think your plan is absolutely fine.

I would make sure he has a phone on him though, for the time he is travelling alone.

Starlight456 · 29/11/2019 08:00

It depends on the child . We live small town train once an hour but needs to change to get most places . So many factors . Does child know the route.

My Ds got on a bus the first time 11. He got on the wrong bus so I had to pick him up and he has never wanted to Doug again. So the point been if they are not ready it could put them off.

Camomila · 29/11/2019 08:11

11, first year of secondary school. Same as the bus.

TeenPlusTwenties · 29/11/2019 08:17

I think 10 is fine provided:

  • he is happy doing it
  • it is a route he knows
  • it is at a sensible time of day
  • he is being met at the other end
I met a friend's child off a train when he was at primary a couple of times, it was a journey he did every day with his Mum and sibling.
Loveislandaddict · 29/11/2019 08:23

I think 10 would be fine, especially as he would be having practice runs with MIL first.

EleanorReally · 29/11/2019 08:28

will he have a mobile,
would he get off at the right stop?

electricwhisk · 29/11/2019 08:28

Most Y7s in London do far more complicated trips to get to school.

This kind of trip should not be a challenge for a sensible Y6 child.

zingally · 29/11/2019 08:28

A bit depends on the context. If it's for going to school, probably getting on with a bunch of other kids, for a short-ish journey. 11 is fine.

If it was for something where they were completely alone, say, going somewhere on a random Saturday, I'd say at least 13/14, and even then I'd encourage them to sit near a family, and not be isolated. And certainly not travelling at night.

JollyAndBright · 29/11/2019 08:30

It entirely depends on the area and the journey.

DS is 12 almost 13 and has been getting the bus from our town to my parents town alone for the last 8 months.
It’s a 20 minute journey that only stops in two little villages and it’s a very quiet ‘rural’ service.

I would allow him to get the train alone if it was a similar journey.

I would not let him get a bus or a train that has a lot of stops or is usually busy.
There’s a bigger town nearby (our town is small with very few shops) he often asks to get the bus or the train from there to my parents if we are there shopping but I don’t think he’s ready for that yet,
The bus is a busy service, it’s 35 minutes long and stops at 6 villages and another small town,
It’s a main service between two large towns and is always busy, I’m not comfortable with him doing that kind of journey alone.
The train only stops at three places and is quicker but it is still busy, I’d be more comfortable with the train than the bus, but not completely happy with him doing it alone.

I just think presently he is too young to do that journey alone.

myself2020 · 29/11/2019 08:32

I would think 8 if its a quiet, non-urban line during the day. 10 or 11 if its busy or very urban

changeforprivacy · 29/11/2019 08:42

Not for mine at 10.

In the past week we have had 2 days with heavy delays after total cancellations, leading to trainees being rammed full and last minute rail replacement buses all of which left many adults stranded or struggling to rearrange onward travel. If your DC was told to leave the train at a station between start/end would he be able to follow badly given instructions? speak up to staff? Get a service bus/taxi to his destination?

There is no way I would risk it after the experience we have had this week alone.

Previously I would have thought of course, no problem; but this week has been a real eye opener as I have been involved internally so got to see a lot more than the average commuter about what happens to all the passengers hen things go wrong. There is no one to take on responsibility for your 10 year old.

Please just have MIL make the journey to collect.

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 29/11/2019 08:44

Sounds fine to me if he's being met and especially if it's an end of the line station he's headed to.

Mine were catching trains to their grandparents (2 stops) or to the cinema/leisure centre with friends (3 stops on a slow train, 1 on a fast) by the top end of primary school, so 10, possibly 9 even, but they were very used to trains as we live close to the station and always use trains over buses.

AJPTaylor · 29/11/2019 08:44

Put on train and met off the other end? 10 with a phone

nokidshere · 29/11/2019 08:47

There are so many more things that this is dependant on.

It's not just about travelling alone, it's about knowing what to do in an emergency? If someone approached him? If the train got stopped or terminated early at a different station? If the person meeting him was held up or didn't arrive at all.

In a group possibly, but alone at age 10? I wouldn't let mine. Even if they felt confident to do it doesn't mean they have the maturity.

Shittiestdayinalongtime · 29/11/2019 08:49

I would say 10 or 11. If theres no changes. I had to go on a train by myself for school from age 11.

Gatehouse77 · 29/11/2019 09:20

I wouldn't be overly bothered about their age as such but more with how I think they can handle themselves were something to go wrong.

My youngest was far more confident than the older 2 and would have no issues making a loud noise if they were uncomfortable/unsure. My middle one would clam up and curl up so no way!
If I were going to pick an arbitrary age, I guess it would be from the end of Y6/beginning of Y7.

newdeer · 29/11/2019 09:23

Age 11. Had to, to get to school.