*SENSITIVE POST MAY TRIGGER SOME*

[Dontjudgemexxx]

Hi. I had an appointment and my daughter was going to spend the night at my mums house so I asked my child’s dad if he can stay at the house until my mum arrives to get daughter. I went to the appointment, received a call from my mother to say she has daughter and will be heading home now, I went home a hour later to find that my daughters dad was still here... we had a really good friendship so thought nothing of it.
I asked him later when he was leaving and he said soon, he asked to order a Uber off my phone and later give me the money back so I agreed.
Once he had my phone he started calling me a slut, he went through my messages and noticed I was talking to a Male ( I’m not with my daughters father so no clue why he was so angry ) I asked him to pass my phone and tried to get it off him. He then punched me in my face causing my lip to start bleeding. Now I wanted my phone to call police and make him leave. But he’s so much bigger than me and I couldn’t get my phone. He kept calling me a slut... I left the room as I didn’t want anything to escalate and stayed in the living room. He came and made me give him oral sex, I kept saying no and moving my head but he would put me in a restraint position and forcefully move my hand and hold my head. I tried to leave after but he told me if I leave and try call the police that he would go to court and get custody of my daughter so I literally felt helpless I don’t want this happening at all. He ended up leaving but I now want to move and do not want him having anything to do with my daughter. I’m even considering changing me and daughters names so he won’t find us. Am I wrong for this ?

if you dont feel able to go to police right now.do you have a walk in centre close to you.could you go there.they will help with next steps.
i would say call the police.but for some i know this might seem impossible.
you can though.you can call them..youve been so strong to even write this post!that was amazing bravery...just take it in movvements of picking up the phone.dialing.talking.take every moment as slowly as you need to.
im so sorry you went through this.
could you call your mum to come.if it would be too hard to tell her face to face telll her on the phone first before she sets off.

What a vile man he is to do this. Assault and oral rape. Get him arrested and go through with charges. Easy to say of course when it is not happening to me but as others have stated, if he gets away with this he may think he can do it again. There would be a chance he could say it was consentual but for the fact you have a facial injury which should be recorded before it gets a chance to heal. Absolutely agree he would not get custody or even access while it is being investigated.

How strange if this is a first time for aggressive behaviour with the OP but while looking through her phone was bad enough, perhaps some jealousy overcame him. Whatever it was he made a serious bad move and should be arrested asap!

Please take some photos of the injury he gave you to you lip so atleast if you don’t feel strong enough now to go to the police you have those pictures.
He would find it so difficult to get custody of your daughter especially after this so please don’t let that stop you , you have to tell someone

Please call the police, you have done nothing wrong

Please report him to make sure you and DD are safe. Do you have any RL support? Can you go to your mums also ?
Be kind to yourself x

He has raped you OP. I'm so sorry. You can go to the police.

I hope you've had done RL support and reported the bastard.

Oh OP. That’s horrific and a terrible and frightening assault. I think you need to report to police immediately. It’s your best protection and course for custody of your daughter even aside from the crime itself being prosecuted. I know it seems scary and it won’t be easy but it is the only thing you have over him right now.

He’s a dangerous piece of scum. The absolute bastard. I hope he rots in hell.

That is serious assault OP, of course you can take whatever steps you need to to make you and your DD safe. And obviously police would be a very good thing. I'm so so sorry.

Please report it to the police soon, if he gets away with this now it's not going to be the last time he rapes you. It must be so tempting to just run away but it's not a long term solution to keep you both safe. There's evidence now to support your version of what has happened, if you run then the first version the police will hear will be his version that you've abducted his daughter and refusing him his access, that it's an unstable environment for his daughter.... let the police support you and lock that violent rapist up. There's no excusing what he did. It's not right spo excuse it that he was just angry/saw red or whatever mental gymnastics he'll create to justify it.

A rapist will NOT win custody of his daughter over the mother. What an absolute pig. I’m so sorry you went though this what a horrible man. You and your DD deserve better. Please report this before something else happens and get both you and your little girl justice

Go to the police. Report what happened. You have been a victim of assault and sexual assault.

Even if you decide not to pursue a prosecution, at least have this logged so he cannot hold the idea of custody over you.

Sorry this has happened to you. Please get this logged with the police, he physically attacked you and forced himself upon you. Then when you feel up to it think about going down the legal route with no contact between him.and your little one.

I hope you have support around x

If you don't want to call the police straight away find out the number for your local Sexual Assault Referral centre (SARC). They can help you and let you know what will happen if you do want to go to the police.

It's a bit less scary than going straight to the police.

Please report him. I know it’s hard and embarrassing and scary I’ve been there but if you want to keep him from your daughter he has just handed you the way to do it. He WILL NOT get custody as he has no grounds for it.

If you don’t report it and try to keep him away from your daughter he can apply through courts for rights as a father and you have no evidence to stop this. He will most likely try again as well. We are all here, any police willing to help as sometimes they have been a great support.

Are you ok op? I'm hoping you have sought help

Why on earth didn't you ring the police immediately!!! You need to make sure as a mother that he never sees you or your daughter again.
This isn't the time not to be taking any action.
As Venus Tiger says you eed to report it while you still have injurues, do nothing and he could get more access to your daughter and you.

He's the last person they'd give custody to.

@madcatladyforever, don't talk to her like that - you are making things worse.