not to invited to join family chat group

[Hadtonamechangeforthis123]

I can't decide if Im being ridiculous, over sensitive etc.

Been with DP for 12 years, 3 children, good relationship with all family members and in laws etc.

One of his close family who I see and speak to every couple of weeks has set up a private 'group chat' on fb and invited basically all the immediate family apart from me. My DP has also joined this group chat. I feel quite hurt by it but Dp can't see my point of view at all and doesn't understand why I feel excluded.

I asked DP what the purpose of the group is and he said its just to chat about 'stuff'....! I've been in the family for 12 years and we have 3 children together but for some reason I haven't been included.

Am I being ridiculous for feeling hurt and excluded?

I wouldn't expect to be in the "X family group chat" tbh and I've been married for a gazillion years.

And by the same token, it would never occur to me to invite my BILs to my group chat with my family.

Obvs every family is different, but it seems like your DPs family is like mine.

(that said if the other SILs/BILs are in it and its a general free for all, then your DP should invite you too)

My husband isn’t in my family chat group. I think he’s grateful!

Are the other in laws on the chat? If it's just the original sibling group and parents would still think it was a bit excluding but would not be too bother but if the other wives/husband who married into the family are on it that not on. At best an oversight which is easily fixed (get your dh to add u) at worse its passive aggressive disrespectful and mean. I would say something.

YANBU to be upset about it. Have you asked the organiser why you weren’t included? It could have been an oversight if it’s a big family, maybe they thought adding just DH was enough because he would discuss with you. Are other wives/husbands/partners included or just the family?

12 years in I would just be mock offended and get them to add me.

I've not even been invited to join my own families chat group. I only found out about it because DD is part of it.

Really don't know what I've done to be ostracized but there you go. Family, h hay?

Thank you for your comments everyone, perspective given :)

Yanbu I would be hurt

YABU

it's their family!

Yanbu, been with dh 20 years but not included on their group chat. Other in laws are, so yes I feel like everyone knows what is going on except for me. I know it's insignificant in the grand scheme of things but it does hurt a bit!

I'm not in my dh and he's not in mine why would we be? My sons wife isn't in ours nor my daughters husband yabvvvvu

Well you skipped the drama. I'd be excited tbh

My husband muted mine after I tried to include him by adding him

Are their other wives?

Or husbands- that are not bio family I mean

Are any other “clingers on” in the group?

I'd be relieved OP. Are family group chats a thing? Thank goodness my family are all antisocial semi technophobes.

We have a FB group just for parents, sisters and niece and nephews. No partners / husbands.

I have a Whatsapp chat with my family and DH has one with his. We've been married 30 years next month.

DH, me and the DCs also have a group chat - the DC's OH's aren't part of it.

I wouldn't expect to be part of his family's group chat as I am not a blood relative and it's nothing to do with me.

Are other people's partners in it?

YABU.
I have 2 group chats going, one with just family and one with ILs.
Who knows what other chats people are having! Sometimes it good to be able to chat without everybody listening / reading. It could be taken as being controlling to insist on knowing everying your DH and family discuss.

It all depends on if there are other inlaws on it. If your Dh has a sil/bil and she/he is included then YANBU, but if not then YABU.

i can see why you feel hurt, but be grateful.

family chats are the worst!!!

You've dodged a bullet. Be grateful

I love our family chat but spouses or partners are definitely not invited!