Could do with some advice about my friend please..............

[flumpybumpy]

Whe I had DD my friend very kindly gave me loads of clothes that her DD had grown out of and she has continued doing so for teh last 4 years. I am very greatful to her and always buy her a nice pressie at Christmas (we don't usually do presents) as a thank you.

She always said anything I didn't want or when i was finished them to give to the charity shop as she didn't want them back, so I have. I gave a few to friend who has had money troubles so was grateful for the clothes and the rest to the charity shoop. I told my friend when i had done this and she was fine about it.

She has now, out of the blue, decided to start trying for another baby and has asked for ALL the clothes back. I sorted out everything I had left including stuff I had bought and gave her three large sacks of clothes. She has now got the hump and said they are the clothes she gave me and wants all of her stuff back. I explained that I gave it wawy like she said and had told her about it. I apologised that I didn't have it all but that I would happlily let her have all I had.

She is now not responding to my emails or texts and won't return my calls.

AIBU???

FB x

Once you have given something to someone, it ceases to be your business what they do with it. Things you lend is a different matter, but anything you gave .... well, since this is being played out on a public forum, my 2pworth is it's up to your mate what she does with it. It is hers. You can't give someone something and then ask for it back!

Even if she IS selling it, how do you know she was not going to use the profits to buy you / your dc something?

A friend of mine gave me bags and bags of clothes for my dc. It saved me lots of money as we are not too well off (compared to her anyway)
When my dc have finished with the clothes I pass on what I can, and the rest I sell on eBay. I then use the money to give friend who gave me all the clothes a pressie - vouchers / wine / chocs depending on how much I made. It is the only way I can repay her for her kindness!

at this. TBH I'm not keen on the whole passing on bags of clothes business as it can get messy (like it has done here). In general I would prefer people not to give me bags of clothes as I am paranoid about taking care of items they want back/worried about offending them if I don't put DSs in their favourite items/the issues surrounding disposal of clothing given rather than loaned, charity, pass them on to someone else, e-Bay???? It's a minefield. However I do give clothes to one friend who lives a number of miles from me and I always pass them on (usually through a third party) with the message that if she wants any of them then great (I don't care what she does with them after she has used them), if she doesn't want them she should dispose of them how she sees fit, I've also said that if she doesn't want them I totally understand and if I am complicating her life by giving her a sack of clothes to dispose of please tell me and I'll understand and stop sending them.

Personally I wouldn't lend clothes (particularly children's clothes) as they would be unlikely to come back in good wearable condition.

Oh well, now that we have the other side of the story I think that is actually quite unfair of your part to be selling things that were meant to be given forward and.. I find it outrageous that you are making such a horrible gossip about a generous friend saying she's trying to trick her husband into another baby... do you know that is not as if you can go to the pharmacy and ask for fertility treatment drugs? you should be ashamed of yourself.

Ellabell - Hang on, I have not been selling your stuff on ebay. I sold a load of my stuff. It so happens that we have duplicated stuff that we have bought, I buy from Next too.

I have been dying to find out if you are an MNer. i know i told you about MN ages ago. I have been trying to guess a name you would use. Ellabell is cool.

I have CAT'd now about the other stuff.

FB x

ellabell, for some reason it says I can't CAT you. I don't have your email addy on my new computer so could you MSN messenger me on theparsnip4 @ hotmail . co . uk (no spcaes) this is going to be easier by mail.

FB x

sorry should be theparsnips4

This really isnt the place for this. flumpy where did you get the pg by accident thing?

Strikes me flumpy knew her friend used mn and posted to try and draw her in and find out her nickname. Some friend

This gets stranger and stranger.