To wish my coworker would stop suggesting life fixes to me?

[Ritascornershop]

I’m going through a protracted spot of financial bother and my coworker has a hundred and one ideas, all of which she is enthusiastic about (& all of which I’ve considered and dismissed).

Why don’t you sell your house for cheap and get a poky flat?!!

Why don’t you get a second job (I’m in my mid-50’s and exhausted as it is)?!!

“Why don’t you sell your possessions?!! I once found a weird object at the dump and sold it for £20!!”

Why don’t you make crafts and sell them door to door?!! (My sister laughed her head off over this one as we’re very introverted and not Little Matchgirls).

And on and on and on. Then she looks all disappointed when I say why I won’t do any of those things and actually said today, when I said “I’m exhausted from this job, I am not going to work weekends as well”, “I would do anything I needed to do!!” (She says everything with great enthusiasm, she’s not mean, just dense). She’s older than me, makes 3 times as much, works shorter hours, mortgage paid off and happily married, so zero understanding of my financial situation as a low paid single parent.

She is doing my head in!! But I don’t want to be rude as she means well and I don’t want an unpleasant mood to start. Ideas?

Yeah just tell her things are fine now.

Well the solution is obvious. Op needs to become cornflake's regular babysitter.
All problems sorted, next!

@StealthPolarBear genius!!

You must have said a bit more to her than what you claim for her to draw the conclusion you had a significant enough issue that means she is that involved. Also, conversation subjects usually die quickly when you don't engage at all.

Maybe you've talked more about it than you thought, hoping for sympathy and getting frustrated that instead you are getting suggestions. I do get it as I've been there (with other issues) and it is really annoying when people just make suggestions that you've already considered. Ironically though, each time I have been in this situation, it turned out that one of the suggestions, that I had dismissed, was the way forward out of the problem, so it might be worth considering them after all.

In the end, if you don't want to discuss it at all, just tell her once and for all. If she keeps it up, just change the subject. She'll soon get the message.

have you tolg her that yoy find it annoying/uncomfortable/invsion of your privacy?
If its just two of you in the office, I understand you don;t want to create an atmosphere, but its possible to have that conversation without "telling her off" - and by saying nothing it's creating an atmosphere anyway.

I am bad for suggesting solutions rather than just being empathetic - but my friend is a bit like this with ideas about how I can do things. I might mention something in passing then we have 10 minutes of ideas and suggestions - when I've run through them to myself and dismissed them for whatever reason.
I find the best thing is to distract with some subject that they have a beef about. She will then run with that - for ages, downside is I've heard it all before.

Just tell her you're sorted...

When it comes to problems, some people are solution-focused and others are emotion-focused. It sounds like perhaps you're the latter and she's the former. Perhaps just explain this to her and request that moving forward she offers sympathy instead of solutions.

Why not just say. ‘Oh, that’s a good idea, I’ll think about it.’
I’ve been on the other side of this, a friend who has problems constantly but doesn’t want help just wants to complain. It took me a while to realise I can’t fix her life so now I just sympathise.
She probably found me annoying too.