AIBU?
It's been so long since Ive seen my smile
WhatAMum01 · 27/11/2019 08:52
Caught a sight of my face in the mirror as I was hurrying my kids out of the door this morning and was saddened to see how sad my face looked.i genuinely dont remember the last time I was truly happy and smiling.thats really sad I know.ive got a really difficult family life due to a severely disabled DC and the daily toil has taken a strain on me mentally,but this morning I see its physical too.i miss being happy.i cant change my situation and find it so hard today accepting that this is how my life is to be.not looking for anything really just had to get my feelings out there.
WhatAMum01 · 27/11/2019 21:29
@Ponoka7 you are right,I just cant seem to find anything or seem to be able to catch a break just now
I'm generally quite positive and keep waiting for my luck to change.waiting so anxiously to arrive at a desperate for destination.
On a waiting list for counselling too.
WhatAMum01 · 27/11/2019 21:33
@HappyHedgehog247 thank you for being kind.on a waiting list for counselling, was so sad this afternoon I phoned the samaritans, person was very sympathetic, but I ended up feeling stupid at the end of this call as it was going through my head that this person didn't know me or actually care.too much overthinking doesn't help me obviously.
salsmum · 27/11/2019 21:38
What area are you in op? If you are on a low income you may be eligible for a respite holiday via the family fund. I too have a 30 year old DD whose is severely physically disabled. There may be some folks in the 'carers' forum who can help too. I find happiness in the simplest of things like music that I remember from happier times and very occasional drinks with friends, ask your local authority for a carers assessment too. 
Emeraldshamrock · 27/11/2019 21:47
@WhatAMum01 You're bound to feel sad at times OP.
Life is hard enough you have it harder with a severely disabled DC. 
You are clearly a strong person, allow yourself be sad and acknowledge your pain give yourself an eternal hug. I wish I could help you more and I'm a stranger. ♥️
There isn't enough support for families.
Listen to some music from your youth I love a good 90's music day. I hope you feel better soon. 
FamilyOhNo · 27/11/2019 22:20
You sound mentally exhausted and you’re probably physically exhausted too. I’m here for you too .... you have a virtual support team here just for you.
Hopefully knowing we are sending you strength and love, will give you some umphhhh to keep you going.
Think of when you were happy and try to recreate the memories with music / food / maybe watch a film from that time, and allow yourself a break.
you deserve them all ...
2018SoFarSoGreat · 27/11/2019 22:39
That sounds really hard; no wonder you are not smiling. I'd be hard pushed to find one in me with what you have on your plate.
Do continue to reach out for help - most people do care. We care. That person you talked to at the Samaritans cares.
Sending you a strong hug, and a strong back for you to lean on if the going gets tougher. And
salsmum · 27/11/2019 23:07
Whatamumo1 please do get that family fund application form sent ASAP they are amazing and can give grant help towards holidays, laundry equipment etc.. to make life a little more bearable they can even help towards driving lessons too and have thrown me a lifeline when I've needed it, whizzkidz can help towards electric wheelchairs too( if needed). The local authority should be offering you respite breaks so you can recharge your batteries, you can ask for a care manager ( social worker) via your councils SN team. You ARE a strong lady and you're also very brave recognising that you need a little break to recharge your batteries please don't think you are selfish, weak or bad ( we all do) as a good respite break will be beneficial to you all.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.