Some boy has taken photos of DD from her Instagram and is telling people she's his girlfriend

[BillHadersNewWife]

Should I be concerned? It's a bit of a worry but I can't put my finger on why.

She's 15...we're in Oz and she's left for school now but she told me this morning that a boy messaged her and asked her if she was going out with "Tom" and she said no...she didn't know any Tom.

The boy messaged again and asked her if she was sure because Tom has shared her pics and is claiming he's going out with her.

I told her to block both boys.

She seemed slightly disturbed by it....but quite recently she was the target of a boy in her class who became slightly obsessed with her...he'd "liked" her for over 2 years and one of the other boys in her class told DD that the lad had loads of photos of DD on his phone and some had been taken when she didn't realise.

He had also sent her lots of begging messages. I told the teacher and it's all calmed down now.

I think this other INstagram lad has rattled her. Should I be worried or just ignore?

Bump

Report it to the school and raise concerns. If they are both pupils, the school can do additional cyber awareness with them and can help stop any unwanted behaviour. Certainly do at my local.

Talk with her teacher, see if they can investigate and find out if this is an issue that needs intervention.

Can she make her instagram page private? Tighten up the security settings. I’d definitely try to contact someone at the school just in case he is also a pupil as he might have done this to other girls or just so they are aware and can keep an eye on things.
I know exactly what you mean, I’d be worried if it was my child but not fully able to articulate why

I would get her to tighten up her security.
Advice her to delete those she doesn't know.
And talk to her about the pitfalls of the internet and oversharing, keeping your accounts public etc.

You was extremely lucky that the school got involved, a lot of time especially if it happens out of school they won't do a thing,

The boy isn't from her school though. The other boy...the one who was low-key stalking her and harassing her is from her school This instagram boy is not.

I think this boy and she have some Instagram friends in common. I'm almost certain her account is private.

I'd also like to add...all DD"s photos are very "normal" and age appropriate. Just her with her mates out and about...she's never been one for pouting or revealing selfies. She's very much the girl next door type as are her friends. Not that girls who DO post different sorts of pictures should be bothered like this...ALL girls should have the right to share images without people telling lies about them.

We should all have the right to share images without them being used

But the law doesn’t back us up so I have never allowed pics of me online. Have even asked for them to be removed after parties etc.

“ one of the other boys in her class told DD that the lad had loads of photos of DD on his phone and some had been taken when she didn't realise.”

This is a worry as well. Is Australia any better for privacy or consent laws re photos? I’m in UK and it’s fecking useless here.

That was with the other boy Autumn....that's all blown over now. The teacher spoke with him. I don't know about the laws here to be honest but once it's in the public domain, I think anyone can grab your social media photos. Not sure...will research it.

At a glance it seems there's no law here against what the boy has done.

I’d be inclined to think it’s nothing sinister and Tom is just bigging himself up by lying to his friends about having a girlfriend. Blocking both boys should be sufficient.

Thanks Tice that was my instinct. I just wanted to make sure really. He's probably a bit immature if he didn't realise this would get back to DD...we live in a very small city.

She needs to change her social media settings to private. If this gets worse then go to the police.

It doesn’t matter if they have friends in common, Instagram isn’t Facebook. If she’s on private he can’t access her photos unless he’s following her. She needs to go through her followers and remove anyone she doesn’t know. He could be following her from a fake account.

With “Tom”, I think ignore it for now unless anything else happens. Then possibly involve police depending upon what “Tom” does next. If the worst case scenario is just other people asking her about “Tom”, she can just tell them she doesn’t even know who that is. That will clear up Tom’s lies pretty quickly and make him look like the weirdo she is.

Weirdo he is even

It's likely that he's following her...so that must mean she originally approved his follow? She seems to have a lot of followers but all people she knows through someone else...like "That's Chloe...she goes to X school and is Tara's cousin" sort of thing.

If her account used to be public, he could have followed her then without her having to approve it.

Can’t she just block anyone following her called Tom and any obvious fake accounts (eg no posts, low followers, random companies or catfish accounts etc). Obviously if she knows who Chloe is, she doesn’t need to remove Chloe - it’s the actual randoms she needs to block.

I’d speak with the police

Ronald but there's no law against what he's done.

Is her account private or public?

Pretty sure it's private but I'll need to check when she gets in later.

Yeah definitely double check and ask her to remove anyone she doesn't know in real life.

What a little creep. Yep, get her to check through her followers and block him if he is following her. I'm not surprised she's rattled, poor thing.