Aibu Christmas present is a gift?

[Cc2020]

so My son is 12 this year and after already writing his Christmas list out he then decided he wanted a games console. I had already spent more than enough on his presents and couldn’t justify another couple of hundred ££ so I said to him that if his dad hasn’t got him anything yet than to ask him
He usually spends around £200/£300 mark.

Now, here is the thing. My son had his phone on loudspeaker to his dad at the weekend, door open. His dad told him he had the Xbox and my son asked if he could bring it home. His dad flat out said no. You ain’t doing that, it stays here.
Now that is fair enough if he spent much time there, but he only goes every other weekend Saturday-Sunday.
He was really disappointed (although he won’t ever say anything to his dad) because all his friends have one and after school they play each other etc.

Aibu to think that if you buy someone a gift, child or not, that it is theirs then?

Just to add, I don’t play any video games, and my partner has a different console He hasn’t played it in over 2 years because of work. So I’m not sure if his dad thinks it is because we want it or something.
He would definitely take it back with him every other weekend too.
I’m half tempted to go buy him one (we Could afford to) but I don’t want to spoil him but I feel really bad.

I wouldn’t send such a big main present to my ex’s house either. Again he could easily afford to get a second if he wanted to so why should I pay out for him to get the benefit. I don’t think he’s being mean he’s saying keep it at home, just this home and not the one you spend most time at. I’d also be worried it wouldn’t come back and would be forgotten and then we couldn’t play it together.
I agree if you can afford them get him one, not sure how nice it is taking away from your ex’s main Christmas present before Christmas - it wouldn’t go down well with me and I’d remember it, but perhaps your ex is a bigger person than I am

Kids notice more than you think! You might not be the “fun” parent, but you are probably already the 1 he respects and trusts, hang in there and enjoy the early Xmas xbox when the baby naps :)

Honestly your ex sounds awful. Keeping the 'gift,' blackmail, sons scared to upset him...that's all just dreadful behaviour.
I hate spoilt children but I sounds as if your boy is a good, grateful lad so in this situation I would buy him one.

It’s not a real gift for your DS. It’s probably a gift for the DSD or a shared console. In this situation get a console for both houses

My ex pulled this crap constantly, not letting them bring stuff home, mind games, blackmail etc.
The result? Kids are now 13 & 15 and neither of them have anything to do with him!
If you can afford it buy him the Xbox, kids aren’t stupid, your son knows you are the one who cares.

Just as an aside, there are some really good deals on Xbox one s at the minute. I got one from Amazon Germany (not the digital one) with 2 controllers for £150. Check out hotdealsUK website for a good round up of deals

I second checking HUKD for some cracking deals on XBOX, I too got one for £150 delivered a few days ago

@Cc2020 www.hotukdeals.com/deals/xbox-one-s-with-2-controllers-1-black-and-1-white-158-at-amazon-de-3342450

Your son sounds lovely. You're doing a great job. I think what your ex is suggesting keeping it at his is so unfair, who wants to play less than a handful times a month.

Can you ask your ex if it's possible he brings it home ? That way you're sure that your ex doesn't want it leaving the house and he can't say anything to you if you do buy one. I've seen parents arguing over someone duplicating gifts.

If he is totally against it leaving his house then I'd buy one. As others said a gift from baby. Your son sounds so thoughtful and it's something he knows the value of as he mentioned it, he would definitely appreciate it. It'll be hard all round with new baby and a change in routine in the house, so it'll be nice he'll have it to play some games on.

I've found that they don't go down much in price in January, usually whatever deals they do now carry on till Jan or if they do reduce them it's not by much. Also if you do go down the route of 2nd hand make sure to get from reputable company and make sure they give some guarantee that you can try it at home and if anything wrong with it you have a certain amount of days to bring it back.

I wouldn't buy him one but I would encourage him to save up for his own and maybe start his savings off with some money for Christmas. Explain to him that when you but something with your own money it is yours to do what you want with so he could take it wherever he wants. My DS wants an Xbox one but we told him that he would need to save up for one and we would match whatever he has saved by Christmas. He doesn't get pocket money so he's been doing extra jobs around the house that he wouldn't normally be expected to do, and every penny he's got his hands on has gone into his saving jar. He's very proud of himself and keeps saying he can't wait to buy his very own xbox.

I agree his dad is being an arse, but your DS will end up resenting him, not you, as he gets older and realises how unreasonable he is.

Definitely buy it him as a gift for being such a helpful/ thoughtful/ other positive attribute lad while you are pregnant and recovering. It will be a tricky time for him anyway with a new sibling.

www.hotukdeals.com/deals/xbox-one-s-all-digital-edition-xbox-one-minecraft-sea-of-thieves-fortnite-2000-v-bucks-109-instore-at-tesco-limited-stock-3344767

OP look at this £109 on Friday if you can get instore

I thought I had replied.

We have decided to get him one and like others have suggested. It will be a ‘gift’ once new baby is here. It will help keeping him entertained and I won’t feel so guilty not being able to give him much attention for them first couple of weeks because of recovery. I will give it to him the night before I go into hospital as I will be in for probably 2/3nights.

Thank you all for your kind words too, my ds is really a lovely boy, not spoilt in the slightest, never expects anything. His face will absolutely light up when we give it to him.

Thank you @8weekstogoHohoho will definitely be keeping an eye on this and sending my partner down at midnight to fight for one (does that still happen on Black Friday? )

Ah that breaks my heart for your son! Why wouldn’t his dad want the best for his son no matter what? And that would be to take the gift home! Anything else he buys him does he insist it stays at his house? Clothes? Shoes? Ect

Maybe look at how much second hand, and if your son wants to contribute. Depends if you want him playing it daily though, I'm generally a bit worried about these things (but don't have teens, so I'm not probably in the real world).

Btw for both my sections I’ve only been in hospital for one night, they get you out pretty quickly and mine were emergency ones. I now planned ones only have one night in hospital in our hospital.

Know*

Thank you @User342109097569098
This will be my 3rd c section, I had a large pph with my last one 12 hours after giving birth and was quite ill so consultant has said he wants me in for at least 2 nights.

Also @User342109097569098 he does have some clothes there but I always send him with stuff, he doesn’t have a winter coat or that. He isn’t allowed to bring anything home from there, even socks

He used to but that all stopped a year ago. No idea why I always sent everything back, clean, folded, nothing broken or anything

Good luck with it! And I think you’re doing the right thing re the Xbox I hope your son gets a lot of enjoyment from it

That will be a lovely surprise for your ds op. I would have done the same.

@Cc2020 www.hotukdeals.com/deals/xbox-one-s-all-digital-with-minecraft-sea-of-thieves-and-fortnite-11954-from-amazon-france-inc-shipping-or-11467-with-fee-free-card-3345244

This may suit better if you want to avoid the black friday stampede 😁
Good luck with your birth OP and I hope your son enjoys his gift from his new baby

Love the give the house a gift for everyone to use.
Bet the ex will wonder why there are no tears about the Xbox having to stay at his.