How did I end up with a job where I get up at 5.30am?!

[shouldntBeButIAm]

Just drinking my swift coffee and getting ready for work and wondering how I ended up with a job getting up at 5.30 and an almost 2 hour commute each way! AIBU for thinking there must be more to life?!

I did this, got really fed up, so I took a pay cut and moved to a job 5 minutes walk up the road. Best decision I ever made.

For those who have managed to find work locally to where they live that's brilliant but it isn't always possible and the OP is doing what she and her DH think best for their son.

I read these posts with horror sometimes and feel so sorry for people commuting for that length of time. I work in the same town I live in so a 10 minute drive, no traffic at all. I drop ds at school at 9am and start work at 9.15am. I reduced my hours when he started school so I finish at 2.45pm and head straight to school for the bell at 3pm. Monday to Friday.

I'm not in a high flying, well paying job but the life positives outweigh that in my opinion

I think I just fainted at the thought of paying £71 a day to get to work!

Do you need the salary or just think you do? Eg what are you paying for that is worth two hours commuting? Some things we get used to having and think we can't live without, but we probably could.

Can you enjoy the stuff you are paying for?

I don’t know why moving out of London seems to mean a very long commute for some people. I live a 22 minute fast-train ride from London and it’s nothing like London here. It’s boring old suburbia alright but I think it’s nice as suburbia goes, with woodland on my doorstep and even a bit of culture.

@shouldntBeButIAm

This is very interesting to me. I'm considering a move (career-wise) to London and commuting from the East Midlands. About half an hour to the station and and hour and a half on the train. This thread is definitely making me reassess whether it's feasible. I'm already tired enough! Sounds great on paper until you actually have to do it, right?

I used to live a 10 min walk from work and it was bliss. now I have to drive for 20 minutes and I hate it. I have no idea how you manage 2 hours, I would certainly say there is more to life.

We stayed within 20-30mins of work in the city. We felt it was better for the kids to have us home up till 8/8:30 in the morning then again from 5:30/6:30 (dh and I alternate the earlier start and return).
We’d love to live in the country but it’s not worth it while we work in the city.

I walk to work. I can’t imagine getting up that early and commuting. I just can’t.

@nowlook only do it if you have no other feasible options. My now adult DD can rationalise why I commuted/ worked away so much when she was young. But she hated it. I left before she was awake and got home after she had got to bed. I often had to stay away 2 or 3 nights a week. I had been made redundant from a job that there wasn't much in the way of more local alternatives with many chasing one job. Our mortgage had been predicated on my salary . I wish I hadn't done it. DD used to say 'when I'm a mummy I'm not working I'm going to be with my baby'. Made me cry. I did change career and be closer but it was tough

@Sooverthemill

I'm lucky enough to have other options. It was mainly driven by vanity and greed! Nice to be considered for a role and might have allowed me to retire a few years sooner.

It's funny, I normally advise people weighing up their options to "imagine how you feel the minute after you've made the decision". Forgot to give myself the same counsel. Answer? Relieved 😅

It’s easy to end up with a commute like that. We are in West London. If we moved out it would probably be to Oxfordshire/Berkshire. Didcot or Reading to Paddington. I am currently based in Canary Wharf so that would be a decent tube journey from Paddington.

If Crossrail was in operation then Reading to Canary Wharf is a direct route and will probably take half the time.

Best thing I ever did was finding a local job (10mins walk from the house) and trading in my 1.30hr commute each way into London. The savings I've made from having no commute costs means that I actually I am pretty much on the same money even after dropping to 4 days so it's wrong to assume that you will automatically have to take a huge pay cut if you work outside London. Career wise it's going to mean taking things in a slightly different direction rather than limiting me as such because I work in quite a specialist field. But having a better work life balance is actually my priority now!

Oh I thought you were on shift work, but I see it's the commute you are dealing with. Poor you. Life is a treadmill.

I used to work about a 40 minute drive away which was enough for me. In summer with extra tourist traffic, roadworks and accidents it could easily push to an hour or more. Never again, I’m literally under a 10 minute drove away now. I used to be able to roll out of bed about 30 mins before I was due to start work, but now I usually get woken about 5:30ish by a toddle hitting me in the head with a rattle or pulling my hair 😭

People who do a long commute each day have my respect, I have no idea how you do it and still have a life.

I work full time but only commute (an hour each way approx) three days a week. It's the best balance I've had. And it saves money on travel!

I couldn't do two hour commutes regularly, it's not the mornings for me but the thought of doing it all again to get home again.

All the employers for my industry (bar a couple of very small companies that only have one of my role) are based in London.

At the moment I’m working in said industry on a self employed basis but struggling with working at home productively and struggling with not having quite enough work. I’m facing the decision of whether to stay as I am partially propped up by tax credits and barely making ends meet which feels uncomfortable or selling my soul back to the commute. It would be a case of leave the house at 7:30, drop DD at nursery on the way to the station, 45 minutes on the train, 15 minute walk to the office, arriving in time for 9am. I’d need to leave at 4:45 to ensure I got to nursery before it closes at 6:30, allowing for the fact that for some reason the journey home seems to be more frequently plagued by delays.

I did this and it almost killed me, 12 hour shifts start at 6.30, 1.5 hour commute, up at 4.30am awful. Now i work a 15 min drive from home and have never been happier! Life is short, look for a better option OP

OP, they say that getting up at 5.30 is the best thing to do for mental alertness and so on. Maybe there's a fantastic opportunity here for you to use this time and on your commute...?

£70 per day just to get to work! I would think that was a lot if it was per week. You must earn a lot, OP, to be able to afford that.

Pre-children I used to wake up at 6am to get to work for 9am, on the way home I would leave at 5pm on the dot but it would take 2-3.5 hours to arrive home depending on traffic/trains being delayed. I now cannot believe I used to do it, it completely burned me out. With children now I just want an easier life. Madness.

My mate has a commute of min 2 hours and up to 2.5. But being on the train so much means she has caught so many colds she is often ill.

Surely when you're spending that amount on commuting you'd be better finding a local job, even if it pays less? You won't realistically be worse off financially and you'd have a lot more time.

I used to live in the sticks and my commute was 90+ minutes each way on two buses. It was draining. I now work a 15 minute drive from my house and I can't tell you the difference it makes.