To ask our nanny to also be a housekeeper?

[Soon2BeMumof3]

We have a wonderful part time nanny who we are desperate to keep.

I have gone on maternity leave and will be home until July. We don't need a nanny doing full days at the moment.

We would however like someone to do some basic housekeeping once a week- laundry, change and wash sheets (my most hated task- very unmumsnet of me I know!), organising the children's clothes and linen cupboard etc. Our nanny is a really tidy and organised person (I am not!). I'm sure she would be great, and we already trust her.

She is a trained childcare professional with a lot of experience. Would I be insulting her to ask if she would like to also have a housekeeping role with us?

Would obviously pay her properly and not expect her to mind children while housekeeping and vice versa.

So who will look after the DC while OP is looking after her newborn and nanny is changing sheets?

Answer... nanny, at the very least some of the time.

This is an OP that clearly needs ALOT of help to organise her home and I can't see her not asking the nanny/housekeeper to help out with Jocinda and Kevin while she is with the baby.

Part time nannies are like hens teeth, if you pay her the same, no harm in asking. If you are paying her less of course she'll get another job.

It just doesn't add up to me.

No nursery or nursery?
Housekeeper just to change the sheets and organise laundry? It takes a couple of hours.
Who does school run?

Just make it clear and make a clear contract and explain to the DC's they can't bother her as she is doing a different job

I was a nanny for a long time and if worded correctly this would not offend me, you are Keen to keep her and this is a way to offer more hours. I would make it very very clear though that if you decide you need to change things back to pure nannying again that these tasks will no longer be expected of her in future as I know one of the families I worked for tried to pull a fast one on me and I was more like a hotel manager juggling everything with the adults on top of the kids. I don’t think it’s offensive to offer if there is a clear distinction between the roles and boundaries set for if anything changes. She is a good nanny and worth her weight in gold so I would be doing all I could to keep her!

OP doesn’t require more ‘help’ than other professional women I know. A cleaner and childcare while parents are at work is hardly unusual.

Soon2BeMumof3

Bright idea here;)

Just call her and ask her:)

There, then you'll know!

Just ask her (and let us know so people in this thread can stop arguing about it 🤦🏻‍♀️)

I'd ask. I'd also think about what you want to do post mat leave - if you'll need another nanny on the same terms and you clearly like this one, you'd do well to incentivise her to stay through this period and then go back to nannying duties after your mat leave. I can also imagine that during your mat leave it'd be useful to have her around as a trusted pair of hands to eg take your older kids to school occasionally, even if you're generally around to do it.

Basically, I'd aim to keep her in one capacity or another if she's amenable.

It just doesn't add up to me.

Are you being deliberately obtuse, Billie? The OP clearly wants to keep her nanny on rather than losing her to another family. She won’t need the same degree of childcare while she’s on mat leave as she, you know, won’t be going out to work, so she’s wondering about offering the nanny alternative work for this period rather than having to let her go. You're acting like she’s some sort of princess for using paid childcare to look after her children while she goes to her job, like every other parent in the world...

I don't understand as, both I and my Dsis could not opt in or out of nursery. (Different parts of the country)

NOTHING MORE THAN THAT.

I don't understand how 3 DC's is less work than 2 and was asking for clarity. You understand so good for you. I don't.

If OP wanted to simply 'keep her nanny on' she would, wouldn't she? The talk of housekeeper is confusing to me.

Others too, it seems. Herself also, as she started a thread in AIBU?

I think it’s fine if you’re going to ask her as a separate role.

I don't understand how 3 DC's is less work than 2 and was asking for clarity.

It’s not. But it’s less work than 2 children and a job. She has a nanny because she works. She’s now on maternity leave and so doesn’t need the nanny any more.

But she said she had a nanny as 2 sets of nursery fees were more expensive. So I presume the DC's will not be in the nursery as nanny not needed.

So, 3 DC's 1 who is newborn and no nanny and presumably no nursery (as nanny is cheaper apparently)

But a housekeeper.

Oh well, I give up, obviously an off day...

I don’t get why this is hard to understand!

OP works and needs childcare whilst she works. She could either put her 2 children into nursery or employ a nanny. The nanny is the cheaper option.

OP is about to stop working temporarily because a third child is due. She will therefore be at home for a few months and able to look after her children without childcare until she returns to work.

She would like however to retain her nanny so that she continues to look after the children when the OP goes back to work and she can afford to do this. She’d also like to be able to spend time with her own children during this period so she’s asking about whether she can vary the nanny’s duties by consent in this intervening period so the nanny helps her with the elements of domestic life she finds hard. Which is likely to be a combination of some childcare and some housekeeping.

It’s seriously not difficult to understand and doesn’t make the OP some tippy toed princess despite the reaction she’s getting from some on this thread. The alternative is she makes the nanny redundant now and pays to re-engage a new nanny when she goes back to work but the redundancy payment to the nanny and the recruitment costs would probably be the same as the money she would be paying out in salary over this period and she ends up with no benefit for that outlay and the nanny ends up losing her job. That doesn’t seem to me to be a win win!

I work independently as a home care assistant. I charge £25 per hour and am often asked to do some house keeping or cleaning, I never accept the work but I’m not offended.

You can ask, just be prepared for her to find it doesn't work for her and find a new post. I wouldn't accept a cleaning role myself.

and I explained, I don't believe OP would look after her DC's all the time.

The nanny would be demoted to basically 'mothers help' 'housekeeper' and paid less. This is what the thread is about.

This is what I read and understood. I am not hard of thinking.

If she wants to 'retain the nanny' retain the nanny and change her own sheets, surely?

The nanny will be working harder than ever, I shouldn't doubt.

Gosh if you have 2 older kids still of nursery ages then keep the nanny as a nanny while you’re on maternity leave, especially as it’s only 2 days a week!

The majority of people I know kept their children in some form of childcare while they were on maternity leave. Many reduced the hours to save money, but I don’t think I know anyone who took their older kids out completely.

I’m a sahm, but for me personally those 2 mornings a week when my toddler was at nursery and I just had to deal with the newborn were a godsend.

I’d only be dropping the nanny if my kids were now at school and she’d be doing nothing all day

@billieEilish. Where do you get the info that the nanny would be demoted and paid less from? In her first post the OP is quite clear that the nanny would continue to be paid properly.

There is no difference in published salaries between a nanny and a nanny housekeeper nor is a nanny housekeeper the same role as a mothers help which is an unqualified role where the employee is not expected to ever have sole care of the child.

You are projecting a lot of your own bias on this OP

No, and I don't want to discuss this further, basically my view is the same as Caterina precisely. It just does not make sense to me.

End of, my view, AIBU? Yes. IMO.

My pool man gets paid every month, in summer he is at my house twice a week, in winter once a month. But I retain him, pay him the same and do not make him sweep leaves as it is not as hot and he visits only once a month.

In this case the nanny will have MORE work. OP thinks as she is on maternity leave and getting less, she will do all childcare. I do not think she has thought it through.

I have no bias, thanks.

I am answering AIBU? as I was having a day off!

*I don't understand how 3 DC's is less work than 2 and was asking for clarity.

It’s not. But it’s less work than 2 children and a job.*

From experience, I can tell you, it’s not. Being at work while two kids are at home with a nanny is A LOT easier than being at home with two kids and a newborn. HTH

From experience, I can tell you, it’s not. Being at work while two kids are at home with a nanny is A LOT easier than being at home with two kids and a newborn. HTH

As a SAHM myself I’m well aware, thanks. I was explaining for the benefit of Billie that the OP works outside the home and therefore needs to employ somebody to look after her children while she’s not physically there. So in that sense, yes, it is ‘more work’ as it takes two people to cover all those tasks. HTH.

Billie - Caterina made a completely different point to you. Where did you get the idea nanny would be paid less? It’s stated nowhere.

OP states she wanted this housekeeping work done once a week. If nanny agrees she works her hours. If she does more hours she gets paid more. Do you really think nanny is incapable of negotiating this with OP? Or saying no for that matter.

Pool companies are irrelevant, they’re basically paid on retainer annually.

Why do seemingly intelligent women have children with men who can’t be arsed to do a bit of housework or home admin hmm. What are the benefits of your DH that they outweigh the normal give and take of running a home? I assume he must earn a huge salary or be in good in bed? hmm

Actually both

He’s not sexist. He, like me, doesn’t have time or energy to do housework. We are happy to pay others to help us free up the time we need to do the stuff we really want to do. Like making big money and having hot sex

My younger self would also be disappointed that DH doesn't do more housework, it isn't equal. But sometimes you just need to focus on your partners strengths and make the best of it rather than turning yourself in knots chasing some ideal.

Also my own view is that if you earn more per hour than a cleaner does and you don't like cleaning- then why on earth wouldn't you have a cleaner and work more to pay for it?

And I suppose I could hassle DH into spending more of his evening cleaning but then I'd be frustrated, he'd be frustrated, he'd have less quality time with the DC and our cleaners would have one less job. I don't see how anyone wins beside me being able to boast on mumsnet about what a great housekeeper I am.