AIBU to get DH nothing since he can’t think of one single thing he wants for Christmas?

[PassTheSaltCarol]

He doesn’t have any hobbies apart from reading so I’ve bought him a couple of books. Other than that he says he’s fine.

The thing is he’s a thoughtful bastard when it comes to me although I am enormously more helpful with coming up with plenty of suggestions.

I’d look like an absolute arsehole if I didn’t get him anything.

Bloody man. Tsk.

Oh, and a UNICEF voucher for 100 polio vaccinations.

I don't buy for DH as he genuinely only ever wants nothing! He’ll buy for me if there's something I would like but we're more into the gift of time (Time spent doing something with or for each other’s benefit) rather than waving a credit card in a shop. For example, he spent a weekend making a workbench for my art studio to my exact requirements and that means a lot because he listened to what I needed.

I have this with my parents. They said they’d be happy with a card. I asked for a bag of chocolate smothered toffee. I don’t think it’s necessary to buy stuff just for the sake of it. Is there something small he likes to eat or drink you could get him?

Oh @VanGoghsDog thank you for that unicef idea. Brilliant plan

Yes, they have a lot of different vouchers. He'll love it, he grumps that we shouldn't give gifts, just give to charity. And I get it, I really do, but it's also a time of gift giving and feasting, and I like a bit of that too!
I do try not to give consumer tat!

Just made myself cry a bit reading about the ‘baby delivery pack’. What a great present for Christmas.

A nice personal touch is to make a small book of promises - he takes one out at any time to redeem it. For example, breakfast in bed, cup of tea, cinema trip, etc.

My hudband was most disappointed when he redeemed "dirty weekend" - he had never done a 5k mud run before.

Every year I say I don't want anything for Christmas or my birthday, or at least not to go to any fuss. And I truly mean it - I wish people wouldn't buy me clothes I won't wear or gadgets I won't use. I've got a couple of tickets my sister bought me as a birthday gift for a comedian later this week. I haven't got anyone to go with and im torn between going on my own, taking my daughter who I can tell isn't keen on going or sticking them on StubHub. Whilst I appreciate the thought, I just can't be doing with all the fuss. I hate it.

In response to OP I'd do as DH asks and buy only small but thoughtful gifts - the books sound ideal. And maybe buying an Argos / John Lewis card as a contingency in case he gets shirty (which isn't impossible).

My DH is impossible when it comes to gifts. I always ask him to give me ideas of what he would like and every single year he says he doesn't want anything. Not to buy him anything etc etc. So last year I did just that. And he actually had the cheek to moan lol!!! This year he's just getting an aftershave gift set.

For people looking for charitable gifts, there are some great ones on www.sendacow.org
My mum's friends from her church have worked with the charity and say that it really does make a difference to people's lives.

Apart from that, I'm looking for suggestions too - my husband usually either doesn't want anything or goes and buys it himself... Having said that, this year he said he wants shaving stuff from Trufitt and Hill, new sunglasses for cycling and a couple of sporting autobiographies.

A framed poster with a his favourite quote from a book. (I have been going through some anxious times lately, and sadly the title of a Harlan Ellison short story "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" keeps on going through my mind.)

A friend's dad's favourite book was "The Wind in the Willows", and over the years, she tried to buy him every different edition that she could find. She, however, was a collector of books, and that would be a horror for me because I can no longer stand books that I have read sitting around, except for the odd reference book.

You are all magnificent, thanks for all the suggestions and sympathies to those whose dh’s are equally annoying. I’m going to look into gig tickets and the cashmere hoodie.

Sadly he’s not into collecting books he just loves to read, he’s not a foodie, can’t imagine why I’m with him really he sounds very boring (he’s really not, he’s a complete sweetheart apart from his maddening refusal to think of anything at all!)

Mine doesn’t want anything either, so I get him stuff he’ll use anyway - socks, pants, and booze, and he’s happy as a clam!

My DH is impossible too. I gave up trying to buy him gifts years ago. He is also an avid reader so I buy him an Amazon voucher to buy books with and it means that he will also buy the ‘oh I fancy that one but it’s too expensive’ books (he won’t pay more than £3-4 for a book at any other time).

DD will give him a box of beer and some hot chilli sauce and he’ll be happy.

Oh, I’ve just thought. One garden thing I got him for his birthday was a hit - a pair of gloves that have plastic spikes/talons on the fingers for scraping in the mud - he uses them constantly.

I'm the 'maddening' one in our relationship. DH loves giving and receiving presents, values surprises for the occasional 'win' and dies out a lot of thought into what to give

But

Look, I'm a sentient adult. If I want something,I'll buy it. If I have not bought it, it probably means that I don't want it.

The outcome is that after the August Bank holiday each year, I stop myself from buying anything so I can write it in a list for him to buy for me. Maddening.

If I could have one wish, I would wish to stop gifting between adults. What.is.the.point. DH has it fixed in his mind that it means love. I'm much more of an acts of service person.

Sigh.

There’s some sort of book pillow that is useful for when reading a kindle or iPad in bed that I have asked for.

I think you reach a stage in life where you really don’t need much.

Peace and quiet would be nice.

What does he like doing when he's not reading?

My DH gave me a picture frame you can clip 6 photos onto and had a whole bunch of family photos from his phone printed so we swap them around ever now and then.
I love it as it's so thoughtful and personal as we never actually get prints any more.

My husband doesnt want anything most years, his birthday is also on top of Christmas. He does support a couple of charities, so myself and a couple of friends donate to those on his behalf, I can honestly say it was his idea and makes him happy.
He doesnt want tut, and has all the expensive sprays he buys himself, so this makes a good gift for him.

@FinallyHere
I totally agree about gifting among adults.
It's to much hard work and adults have what they want or can go buy it.
You otherwise have to rack your brains or take a wild guess on what they may like.

Sorry op im like him, I can't think of what I want for Christmas. Frankly if I didn't get anything I wouldn't actually care but I hate that side if Christmas anyway.
Gifts are nice and if I see something that someone will love I get it for them anyway. Funds permitting of course. I hate having to think of things for them just because it's Christmas, for the last few years I have said I don't want anything and I'm quite content not to actually get anything but they feel they have to cos it Christmas. Not because they've seen something they think I'd like and just randomly do a kind thing but because of Christmas and it's what you do.

It spoils the idea of gifting to me makes it less of a spontaneous, thoughtful act to a chore.

Ruby - but its not a wild guess, if you know the person you know their interests

Are there any nagging things he's been meaning to get done for ages and hasn't got round to? Eg. Diy things? Pay someone to do them and do him a 'gift voucher' for the work? If my Dh gave me a hundred pounds of 'odd jobs' I would be thrilled, there's so many things I just keep putting off.

For example, breakfast in bed, cup of tea, cinema trip, etc.

See, we do this all the time anyway. I'm not at work and he brought me tea, toast and a rose from the garden in bed at eight thirty. He'd never want to sleep in while I got breakfast for him though.

Be a sad relationship where you had to give "make you a cup of tea" as a gift rather than it just being your norm.

Look at Happy Socks or similar, i gave DP "our year in socks" each had a pic on rhat meant something to us. Could you look at theatre tickets and go together? What about a magazine subscription like the Economist or The Times digitl?

I just want him to come up with one bloody suggestion, just one would do!!

Poor guy. Get off your arse and THINK about what you think he might like! The joy of presents is supposed to be in the giving, not expecting someone to give you a list...

Music? Jigsaw? Gardening? Outdoors stuff? Indoors stuff? DIY? Sports? Clothes? A watch? Print out some photos/photobook? Buy him a picture? A DVD? Some trainers? A stay in a hotel? A posh meal out? Adopt him a pet? Other charity stuff? Knit him a scarf?

There's got to be something!