To attend free groups at the children's centre?

[Frazzledforever]

We live in the middle of a big council estate but own our house and both work. We're ok/not great financially but don't generally worry about paying the bills, more of if we could afford a holiday in school holidays. So not well off, not comfortable but not skint.
We live on the same road as a big children's centre which offers loads of groups and activities. I've been to a few groups there but there is less on for my children now they're in school. In the holidays they offered day trips including travel for a discounted price but I had a bit of a moral dilemma about whether I was depriving someone else of the chance to go as I have a car and can afford the odd day trip.
Now there is a free lunch advertised this weekend and I thought it would be lovely to meet some of my other neighbours but is it aimed at me? Or is it for those who really struggle to put food on the table?

Could you go, but be upfront about what you’ve told us here, and offer a donation?

Don’t offer a donation , that could make people who can’t afford to feel awful. Go and donate to a foodbank.

Where do you live that childrens centres still exist OP?!

These sorts of things usually struggle with numbers so they like people to attend who are interested in making friends and building a sense of community. Like a PP said, offer to give a donation to make up the cost of the meal. They are probably subsidised by the government to hold certain events like this, you giving a donation will put the money back into their pocket to spend as they see fit.

Don’t worry about this. Children’s centres are designed as a ‘universal offer’, open to people of all different walks of life. Some sessions are badged in our area as ‘by invitation only’, meaning that you have to be referred because you’re struggling with something in particular, but others are open to all. So if these sessions are open to all, do feel free to go. It’s good to meet different people.

Do not offer a donation.

(Obviously, you can give your donation discretely)

You’re overthinking it.Can’t think why you’d not be able to attend & participate
Attend the lunch, you’ll potentially meet some nice local folk

The children’s centre me and my toddler go to is also a food bank donation drop off, don’t know if the one by you is but instead of a donation to the centre maybe something towards a food bank instead?

I should have been clear that I was suggesting the OP offer her donation discreetly.

Go!!! This is exactly how childrens centres should be. A mixture of mums and toddlers from different backgrounds to mix.

Once they start being reserved for vulnerable families, then they get a stigma attached.

I practically lived in children’s centres when I was a teenage mum, living in a Council house. I mixed with people I had never met before, professional women on mat leave. Through that and the courses they offered I was really inspired to go back to uni and eventually got my social work degree. 😊

I always go to the free groups, could afford a couple paid for ones but then I feel the pressure to go and feel guilty when I can't (nearly all paid for ones and the six week length ones). There's a donation box by the sign in sheet, and you either donate or not when signing in, nobody can see what you're doing or if you're giving money for the donation station either.

It's a service provided to the community. Unless they are long waiting lists for trips or there are invitation only activities, go and join in! Presumably you don't feel weird about using a library, even if you can afford to buy books. This is no different.

These places usually rely on numbers/attendees to guarantee continued government funding so I woul go if I were you. Have a discreet word if you want the reassurance though.

I would say stop overthinking this, childrens centres are inclusive and you would be welcomed. We work and attended weekly groups and discounted trips. I never felt like I was taking the mic. On the contrary, I found they encouraged me to sign up for extras. If we dont use the childrens centres we have left we will lose them.

Don't worry about accessing anything that is available to you. Usually before things like the seaside trips are advertised some families will already have been invited. Families who are not invited will be put on a waiting list at times but they usually have enough places for anyone who would like to attend.
They would tell you if not, you certainly won't be taking a place from someone else.
Enjoy meeting new people.

We have loads of children’s centres in our area and I’ve only just started taking my 2 dds to them in the past couple of months and kicking myself for spending money on private baby classes before! They are absolutely fab, really great leader, loads of quality toys and activities, and fruit for a snack each session. Plus can take both my dds knowing there is plenty to keep each occupied. However I’m astonished how few other children there are - between 4-12 others per session, and also that I could afford to pay but there’s no way of donating. I’m taking heart from the fact that I’m increasing demand so the groups continue to run for those in financial need, but if they stopped I would really struggle to find a replacement where a 2yr old and 6month old could both happily attend together. It’s done wonders for my mental health so seriously appreciated.

They are supposed to be a mix of people!

I definitely went to loads. I also have any too small nappies, clothes, toys, books to mine so I was giving back.

Also, children's centres constantly need to prove their numbers to ensure they get funding and stay open. So unless there are really long waiting lists for these excursions and lunches, you are actually helping to keep them open.

Exactly. Use it or lose it.

I have a similar dilemma with some free classes at my local children's centre e.g. baby massage when I could afford a private class but am not rolling in it. I have actually enjoyed some of these classes more as they are more of a mixed group of parents and Ive found some of the other private classes to be a bit snobby. I also have felt more confortable approaching the staff for advice as they're also breastfeeding trained, if id never been I might not have felt comfortable enough. I think the more people they get through the door the better chance that services have of surviving long term. I'd go and get involved in it as a hub for your community - of which you are a part too!

Theres a food bank at the children's centre my sister attends...

Maybe you could donate to that?

Yes use it.

At our children's centre this wouldn't be an issue at all! A huge variety of people make use of it. I've met child minders, grandparents, single mums and dads, really young parents, mums on maternity leave from good jobs, SAHM mums with well paid husbands. Donations for tea, coffee and snacks always welcome but there's never the assertion that the centre is only for those struggling.

Please go.

Poor children don’t need segregation they need integration and the centre will get more funding if it gets more use.

By all means make donations but go!

We used to live in London and I took baby DS to our local children's centre at least once a week. As has been said they need people to go to justify the funding.

Plus they do normally have referral only sessions for people that need them so it's not like you're taking anyone's place by going to an open session.