To attend free groups at the children's centre?

[Frazzledforever]

We live in the middle of a big council estate but own our house and both work. We're ok/not great financially but don't generally worry about paying the bills, more of if we could afford a holiday in school holidays. So not well off, not comfortable but not skint.
We live on the same road as a big children's centre which offers loads of groups and activities. I've been to a few groups there but there is less on for my children now they're in school. In the holidays they offered day trips including travel for a discounted price but I had a bit of a moral dilemma about whether I was depriving someone else of the chance to go as I have a car and can afford the odd day trip.
Now there is a free lunch advertised this weekend and I thought it would be lovely to meet some of my other neighbours but is it aimed at me? Or is it for those who really struggle to put food on the table?

I used to work in child protection services on a big council estate (nothing against council estates but it was a very deprived area and very marginalised community). There was a childrens centre on the edge of the estate bordering on a quite an affluent area. It was really positive that there was a mix of people using the centre and was considered very much a positive - for community cohesion, for funding (more use = more support for funding) for raising aspiration, and also because middle class parents typically are more likely to demand/advocate for services (in a good way - more likely to protest against cuts etc, more likely to be listened to).

Apologies if I sound patronising about aspirations but I can't think of a better way of wording it. It wasn't unusual to work with parents who had poor parenting and a family network who had never worked ( or those that had were in a poverty trap of zero hours/low wages etc), who hadn't been supported in education, and the estate was very insular. So a social mix had a lot of advantages (on both sides)

I go to a mix of free/low cost and by donation cookery classes.
I've set up an online monthly donation - it's gift aided so the charity gets the additional benefit of the GA - before that I made one off online donations when I attended a class.
If they don't have a donation option on the website, ask them. If charities don't receive a lot of donations, they may operate a scheme through just giving or similar - or you could simply set up a standing order if thye give you the bank details.

My god, go. Let your children play with the neighbouring kids.

These groups tend to be "the more the better".
They're aimed at a whole community, so if you live in it you are the target.

As I said don’t overthink it.go and don’t get in a twist about donations,or eligibility
It’s a children centre for your locality, you’re a parent with a child
And no you don’t need to justify or introspectively reflect upon your finances

I think go, but be aware that your presence might be intimidating to others. My friend wouldn't use the services offered to her because they were dominated by all these professional women who would take over the sessions and ask her really personal questions and try and teach her about how to look after her baby. She did tell one of them once that she had looked after her younger siblings while her mum worked from the age of 12 so she probably has more hands on experience than them but they just looked at her with pity rather than respecting her broader experience with childcare.

I was a bit of a braniac at school, believe it or not, and I could be accused of not giving the more reserved people a chance. In the end, I was encouraged to set simple guidelines like only answering 2 questions asked by teacher per class or waiting 60 seconds before I put my hand up and offer a comment and only offering it then if we are on the same subject. It just helped give other people a chance.

Also if there is a waiting list or obviously huge demand, then don't take a place.

Definitely go!
I'm not well off and we don't go now that DD is in pre school but I used to go to messy play every week and once took in a bag of things that they used. Lentils, brown sugar, pasta shapes and a few craft things from wilko like glitter glue and feathers.

Ours were shut a few years ago, they kept me sane and helped me so much.
They are universal I met all kinds of people there and it was nice to see parents and children bonding with each other no matter what there backgrounds were.
Shame most are closed now with my youngest I had terrible pnd and could of done with having a childrens centre.

They’re a universal offer and funding depends on how many people attend so it would be no problem for you to attend.

If they accept you, go. Make use of the facilities, because if you don't they'll get closed down.

Our local community centre has recently reopened and are trying to get people to participate. Unfortunately the person running it doesn't seem a good fit for the job. She doesn't approach the general public - she just posts stuff on their FB page.

They were recently offering yoga classes on a Monday evening, which I and some friends applied for. As we don't live in the immediate area (ie the attached council estate) We weren't allowed to attend. The classes were cancelled in the end due to lack of participation.

Please use the facilities while they're there!

Thanks everyone we will go! I'm not middle class so probably won't feel out of place.
I used to go to baby massage there and it was full of really MC mums from far, far out of area which I felt was a bit wrong but when I spoke to my midwife she said they reserved spaces for mums that they really felt could benefit from attending. I will be donating to my local food bank!

I'm in the same kind of position OP.
Homeowner in work on council estate.
We don't have a children's centre but we do have a voluntary group that put on free activities with meals provided.
I do as PP suggest: send the kids along and donate discreetly when the opportunity arises.
It's clearly an attempt to feed kids while trying to avoid anyone feeling stigma. The only way to achieve that is for everyone to use it. Make it feel like a general community resource.
If the only families attending were on the bones of their arse attendance would drop off, funding would be harder to get and the few kids still going would be singled out for bullying.
Just go along and stop overthinking it.

It's not all about money issues for the target group, issues such as DV, SEN, social isolation, post natal depression, etc are not linked to economic deprivation. Children's Centres are there to help people from all backgrounds. It sounds like your centre is one of the few that are still able to offer universal provision rather than targeted support- that's great, please do use it whilst you still have access to it!

I work with children's centres across the UK, the provision has changed drastically in the last couple of years away from universal provision towards targeted groups, although some areas are lucky enough to remain universal, which it sounds like yours is. We unfortunately have sessions that are empty as the better off parents pay for sessions instead of accessing the free ones at the centre and the ones struggling don't access them either. If they are not used they won't continue.

Please don't worry about a donation also - most Children's centres are commissioned by the local authority who gave very strict guidelines on what money centres can collect outside of the pot of money they are awarded with the contract, so it will be a case of they can't accept donations, rather than don't want to. Physical donations such as old books and toys, second hand baby clothes and food for the food bank are always well received though as others have said.