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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if metal concerts are safe for DD14

113 replies

wherearemypaintbrushes · 25/11/2019 18:55

Hi all. DD14 interested in 'gothic' fashion (which mainly just consists of black lipsticks and band tees Grin) and she is into a band called Nightwish. For what I have seen they are a metal type band.

Apparently they are going on tour next year and she would like me to book tickets for when they do a concert in London in December! I would honestly really love her to experience concerts and I think it would be a good christmas present.

Though I'd like to ask about your experiences with metal band concerts, I really don't want to stereotype but i'd be afraid of violent people etc Sad The band seems harmless enough and the lead singer does seem quite nice but I just want to ask if I should be worried. She is a shy girl but copes well with noises - would she be intimidated by other people? None of her friends at school really enjoy her taste in music so may not be able to bring a friend.

Silly concerns, I know. Please don't flame me as I was never into bands like these at her age Grin

OP posts:
NaviSprite · 26/11/2019 21:00

PS if you’re interested in hearing them before I highly recommend their live performance of Ghost Love Score, it’s on YouTube - m.youtube.com/watch?v=JYjIlHWBAVo

flyingspaghettimonster · 26/11/2019 21:01

My daughter is 15 and we have let her attend concerts with a friend at 14, and now at 15 she has been to one gig alone, she made friends in the queue and was fine. So long as you pick up afterwards it should be fine.

wherearemypaintbrushes · 26/11/2019 22:57

navi - Oh my God Shock Never heard much but now we are 1000000% going!!!! pure talent Shock

OP posts:
Mrschainsawuk · 26/11/2019 23:23

Seating for her as you can get squashed up front seen a few ppl pass out

NewNameGuy · 26/11/2019 23:25

Metaller here; nightwish crowd will be chilled and cool

wherearemypaintbrushes · 26/11/2019 23:30

it seems to be a 50/50 for seating and standing. Not sure yet.

OP posts:
MonstranceClock · 26/11/2019 23:30

Metal heads are the friendliest. I took my 5 year old to see slipknot this year and she had an amazing time. Kids are always very well protected at metal concerts.

TrainspottingWelsh · 26/11/2019 23:32

They're not really my cup of tea, a bit too light, but ditto everyone else about the atmosphere. They don't strike me as the type of gig to have real mosh pits, but even at places where there are, you sometimes get more than one. That said I've seen groups of older teens forming their own smaller light weight pits before now to one side and my dc have gone in those from being about 14.

Also ditto what everyone else says about safety. I've been in regular clubs with dsd age 18, and watch her like a hawk. But from their early teens I've been happy to leave them to do their own thing at metal and rock gigs while I head for the pit a cup of tea

Celebelly · 26/11/2019 23:35

Agree with what others have said. Metal fans are some of the nicest people. And Nightwish are on the lighter end of the metal spectrum. Hope she has a great time!

TitchyP · 26/11/2019 23:44

My15 is a metal/punk fan and has been taken to a couple of gigs and a (day) festival. Honestly I'd rather he was there than at Glastonbury and the like, the fans all seem pretty polite, well behaved and accepting of the youngsters.

redastherose · 27/11/2019 00:38

I took my then 16 year old to a Nightwish concert 9 years ago 😁 it was great. I've been to plenty of concerts of all sorts of bands, rock, metal, pop etc generally the more alternative and individual the audience the more friendly and accepting they are of everyone.

Cabbage666 · 27/11/2019 01:27

Yep Ghost Love Score is my favourite song, the Floor Jansen version now! I've even got the the original GLS shirt I bought in 2004 haha.
Only expect mosh pits at more heavier gigs really, my favourite band, Iron Maiden, the band I saw when I was 8 years old (in 1984!) don't even have that many these days but the crowd is still lively with singing along etc.
Actually in saying that, one of the biggest mosh pits I've ever seen was at a Levellers gig in Stoke's Victoria Hall in 1996!!!

BillHadersNewWife · 27/11/2019 01:34

No mosh pit! She'll get flung in the air!

LimaCharlieHotelPapa · 27/11/2019 01:40

For what its worth my first gigs were seeing Rammstein when I was a teenager and I went with my dad as he liked them too - he was late 40s at the time and wasn't the oldest there!!

First time excellent place right near the stage (i.e., the mosh pit) but left within seconds as I was a wimp and couldn't handle it, too much jumping and bumping and 'not my sort of thing'. Ended up next to the bar where I could gently nod my head and listen to the music. Second gig didn't bother trying for the front, just stayed in the middle where it was nice and civilised and gentle! I'd suggest seating personally, but Nightwish are a great band so hopefully she'll enjoy it wherever you book

BestZebbie · 27/11/2019 01:46

There are plenty of now-middle-aged nightwish fans!
The concert shouldn't be any scarier than any concert (eg probably go with a friend, watch your drink, know the fire exit, but there shouldn't be a spontaneous biker gang fight or anything).

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/11/2019 02:35

It's Nightwish..

There will not BE a 'mosh pit' if by 'mosh pit' you mean 'crowd of twats trying to kill each other'.

There might be a group of slightly less creaky people right at the front and they might bounce around a bit, it'll be fine.

The average age of a Nightwish fan is going to be 40+ so I wouldn't worry about getting standing tickets, most folk will want to sit down!

Do stand, you don't have to stand at the front, the back and sides will be safe as houses, but seated it just isn't the same experience at all.

On the whole I've found the goth and metal scene and in fact any of the supposedly 'scary' music genres to be the kindest and friendliest going, particularly where the average age of fans is into middle age.

I have had some unpleasant pit experiences (you don't want to fall down in one, with several hundred coked up Audioweb fans whose sole mission is to actually kill someone) but you don't have to be there and if you know, front, centre, is where it's going to happen, you can avoid that easily enough.

Whilst I am here, parents can you educate your younglings that the mosh pit is where you can leap around and dance and no one minds if they get the accidental elbow to the face, if someone crowd surfs over them or stage dives and its where a circle might happen...

A mosh pit is NOT a free for all opportunity to inflict as much physical damage on a stranger as you possibly can.
If someone goes down, you pick them up rather than stamp on their face, if someone loses their specs, ya find them and hand them back rather than smash them to bits on purpose.

Rubyupbeat · 27/11/2019 02:47

I can guar6your daughter will be fine. My DH and myself are metal fans, we are 55 been together for 36 years and still go to gigs and festivals, and honestly in that time never seen one bit of trouble, in fact at the weekend festivals, children go as well.
The only time I have seen really bad drugs in the open and fighting, was at one grime and two different very famous hiphop festivals. Awful.
Your daughter will have a blast!

Rubyupbeat · 27/11/2019 02:48

Guarantee

ThanksForAllTheFish · 27/11/2019 02:50

Agree with the other posters. Metal fans tend to be the nicest bunch and look out for each other. Even in the mosh pit if someone falls down they will be picked right back up. Don’t get me wrong, you might occasionally encounter a drunk/drugged up annoying person who is all elbows and rubber legs but for the most part they will end up heading down the front to join in with the pit/ jumping around so shouldn’t be an issue if your DD sticks to the middle or back.
I was always in the pit in my younger days but avoid it now for the most part - I like to be close enough to watch it without being a part of it. Even in my peak pit days I would never join in a circle pit though - far to fast and crazy for my uncoordinated self, similarly a ‘wall of death’ is also a no from me (But brilliant to watch).
Nightwish is the type of gig that might not even have a pit - I would say they are more on the mellow side and moshing requires some fast guitars and/or drums, also a lot of venues tend to beak up pits these days because people do break bones. I think 14 is the ideal age to start going to metal gigs but be warned she will end up wanting to go to many, many more gigs afterwards because it’s addictive.

Marmiteontoast87 · 27/11/2019 08:50

You will definitely not be frowned upon for bringing her - totally the opposite. I started going to gigs around her age (also female). Everyone has always been very caring and respectful of others.
That said I would recommend seating first as a venue that size could be overwhelming in itself and everyone could be packed in tight where she would be close enough to see what's going on anyway.

What an amazing first concert.

thornyhousewife · 27/11/2019 08:59

She will have the time of her life OP. Smile

TheDarkPassenger · 27/11/2019 09:31

I’ve been going to heavy metal gigs since I was a young teen they’re very fun! However, we always stood and my friend did get knocked out (clean out!) by a bash on the head from a massive guy moshing. Luckily we were wth her because no one else seemed to notice she hit the deck!!
I would prefer my kid to sit (there’s probably more rules about minors standing now! )

ArnoldBee · 27/11/2019 09:45

My friend dates a member of Nightwish. Just check the venue and what you are comfortable with - their fanbase are lovely.

barcodescanner · 27/11/2019 10:30

Old goth here.. Been going to gigs since mid eighties and still going strong. As well as goth/punk clubs and pubs back in the day. I can honestly say I have never seen any trouble at any venue I have been to. I don't know this band but am sure She will be fine

Stonerosie67 · 27/11/2019 10:42

I took ds and his mate to see iron maiden at that age, and also motley crue and def leppard a year or so later. They went down the front and I leaned against the sound stage (I like to stand there whatever gig I go to, means I can jump about when I want but have something to lean on too), They had such an ace time and I scored a milk in brownie points.
They have been camping at Download with their mates every year since, and I don't worry about them there...metalheads are an awesome bunch!