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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if metal concerts are safe for DD14

113 replies

wherearemypaintbrushes · 25/11/2019 18:55

Hi all. DD14 interested in 'gothic' fashion (which mainly just consists of black lipsticks and band tees Grin) and she is into a band called Nightwish. For what I have seen they are a metal type band.

Apparently they are going on tour next year and she would like me to book tickets for when they do a concert in London in December! I would honestly really love her to experience concerts and I think it would be a good christmas present.

Though I'd like to ask about your experiences with metal band concerts, I really don't want to stereotype but i'd be afraid of violent people etc Sad The band seems harmless enough and the lead singer does seem quite nice but I just want to ask if I should be worried. She is a shy girl but copes well with noises - would she be intimidated by other people? None of her friends at school really enjoy her taste in music so may not be able to bring a friend.

Silly concerns, I know. Please don't flame me as I was never into bands like these at her age Grin

OP posts:
SlothOfSluggishness · 25/11/2019 20:34

I’m not familiar with Nightwish.

I won’t ever go in a mosh pit again. I fought my way to the front at a Megadeth gig. There were lots of big clumsy guys crowd surfing. I ended up with a broken collar bone.

That was the weirdest thing, hearing two big internal snapping noises over the music.

Original poster
wherearemypaintbrushes · 25/11/2019 20:35

@phonic Thank you Grin

OP posts:
GrowingUpIsATrap · 25/11/2019 21:13

Just wanted to agree, i am sure will be very safe and your daughter will think you're a super cool mum

I was also going to recommend ear plugs 😁. I've been going to gigs since I was 15 (22 years) and my hearing is not great. I struggle to hear people on the phone or even in general conversation sometimes. I would definitely recommend ear plugs, some you can get on Amazon are very discreet

pugparty · 25/11/2019 21:23

Metal gigs are generally pretty safe, and at an arena gig even more so, she'll be fine. The gig isn't til next year, so she'll be 15 then? Even better. That venue doesn't allow unaccompanied under 16s though so she'll need someone over 16 with her.

And get her some ear plugs. Anyone attending gigs without them is a damn fool!

Elieza · 25/11/2019 21:34

Defo ear plugs, a poly bag to sit on is a great idea, a wrist purse or one on a cord that is large enough for your phone and money that you can hang it round your neck and tuck safely into your bra, a jacket that doesn’t have thick padded sleeves so it’s easy to tie round your waist when it gets hot. Enjoy!

Whatisthisfuckery · 25/11/2019 21:56

She’ll be fine, she’ll love it.

DS is only 12 and he gets dragged to all sorts of gigs. We went to see Half Man Half Biscuit just the other night.

Last year he came with us to Sleaford Mods and we were right at the front. It was, ahem, lively. He’s also been in a festival crowd to see Idles and Johnny Marr, which again was somewhat lively.

bluesatinmanolos · 25/11/2019 21:59

Don't know how true it is, but my partner is into metal bands / mosh pits and he always says that metal fans are super considerate about that kind of thing and will always pull out people who look uncomfortable. He actually prefers the environment to a bog standard pop concert.

gwenneh · 25/11/2019 22:09

Nightwish gigs are delightful. She'll have a lovely time.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 25/11/2019 22:17

My niece had a friend who’s father was in a very well known heavy metal band. He did not allow his daughter to go to one of his gigs until she was 18.

Wackformedaddyo · 26/11/2019 01:21

Nightwish wouldnt be my fav band but i remember when i was 15 and wanted to see iron maiden with my friends. My parents heard all sorts of negative stereotypical shenanigans that happened at metal gigs and decided to ban me from going (still hold a wee grudge about it lol.). Anyway im over 40 now and my kids first concert was iron maiden when he was 5 and hes seen them 4 times since as well as my wife who isnt even that much into metal at all.
His first one he still remembers like yesterday probly cos he ended up being photographed more than iron maiden Grin. Go with your daughter and be the cool mum.You might actually enjoy it yourself...

MorganKitten · 26/11/2019 01:38

I was going to gigs at 12, metal crowds are some of the best, at 14 falling in a mosh pit and being picked up straight away.
Nightwish rarely have a mosh pit and are very light in the metal scheme of things.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 26/11/2019 01:55

I was standing very near to the stage at a Metallica concert recently.........it was fine. Much better than seats and we could walk in and out to the bar and loo without pissing people off.

aLilNonnyMouse · 26/11/2019 01:57

I was Nightwish aged 12. I'd feel safe letting my own kids go to see them. Metal concerts in my experience have the friendliest crowds - any sign of issue and someone comes along to help you out. Made many many friends like that.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 26/11/2019 01:57

And bear in mind Mosh pits can spring up anywhere........including the seated bits. I felt safer standing than I did seated because if things got too much I could just move out of the way.

PawPawNoodle · 26/11/2019 02:00

I went to a Nightwish gig when I was 14, it was great! Completely safe, well looked after by everyone else in the standing area. Wasn't served alcohol.

I would check that she can actually go without an adult, venues have tightened up on that.

MrMeSeeks · 26/11/2019 02:04

I was going to gigs at her age, in the mosh pit! Alternate people are not violent. It’s A sad stereotype, they’re generally extremely friendly and kind!
I’d check if they will-actually let her having a standing ticket though as some Places wont now unless with an adult.

IWillWearTheGreenWillow · 26/11/2019 06:55

Just want to echo what someone else said upthread DD (14) was safe and well cared for in the pit for Bring Me The Horizon at Ally Pally, and when it got overwhelming she was helped out of it. DS has left the metal family for Indie Mumble Rock and regularly comes home with a fat lip from flying elbows, but that's never occurred at a metal gig.

Also, Nightwish are huge. They're going to have excellent security and crowd control.

Blindandfrozen · 26/11/2019 07:09

I’m going to that gig and I am very nice

Cabbage666 · 26/11/2019 19:51

I've been going to concerts since I was right, I'm 44 in January and my kids also went to gigs at a young age.
We're all rock/metal fans and I can only confirm what a lot of people have already said, that they are a damn site safer than most concerts! Even the Bloodstock festival has a family friendly campsite and I've seen prams etc there too.
As for Nightwish, I've seen them many times since 2002 and I've never really seen a mosh pit at their gigs, they're not that kind of band and as to the person who said the lead singer is unwell etc and generally not nice ... I think you're referring to Annette Olsen who was replaced in 2012 by Floor Jansen, who is a thousand times a singer and frontwoman than Annette, and even Tarja will ever be.
I'll be at both Cardiff and London Nightwish shows 🙂

Cabbage666 · 26/11/2019 19:51

Beast In Black fan by any chance? Lol

Cabbage666 · 26/11/2019 19:54

Oops I meant since I was eight years old

Original poster
wherearemypaintbrushes · 26/11/2019 19:54

cabbage - thanks for advice - I have no idea what other bands she listens to as this is the first she has brought up Grin

OP posts:
LucyAutumn · 26/11/2019 20:15

I went to my first metal concert when I was 14! It was absolutely fine, loads of people of different ages including my own. I recommend you get her to book herself seats otherwise she'll miss out on being able to see (there's always an exceptionally tall person) and avoid getting dragged into a mosh pit as they can get a bit... energetic Grin

bettyjune07 · 26/11/2019 20:19

I went to my first metal gig aged 14 and my first festival Bloodstock aged 15 camping with my brother and his friend. Completely well looked after, the metal community are an amazing bunch! Me and my friends had a group of older lads looking out for us the whole time at my first gig at Rock City in Notts. She'll love it and think you're such a cool mum for going with her! Have the best time 🤘

NaviSprite · 26/11/2019 20:58

My first metal Gig was Rammstein at 14 and it was amazing! Even for the heavier gigs where moshing can occur they generally tend to only involve those who purposely join in - I’ve never been in a mosh pit and I’ve had 10+ years of death metal gig experiences.

Nightwish are an amazing group, very rock opera and the lead has an outstanding vocal range Grin I hope you and your DD enjoy!