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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is 400 enough for two dc?

735 replies

Lipperfromchipper · 25/11/2019 17:49

Just a Christmas question, dc are 6 and 4,
I have spent about 320 so far and was thinking if I spent another 80 between them on stocking fillers that would be plenty?? But I’m getting cold feet about that!!? How much have you spent on two dc of similar ages??

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 26/11/2019 13:49

The whole point of a stocking is that it is from Santa

Not in my and many other households, not everyone does Santa.

JinglingHellsBells · 26/11/2019 13:49

There is some very interesting psychology about desiring things and the amount of satisfaction gained when we have them. (Trying to take this discussion to another level.)
The anticipation far outweighs the actual receiving and the research shows people are no happier with what they yearned for than without it. With young children, the boredom factor kicks in very quickly, unless you are talking about things like biked and computers which are used for years. We didn't give such things like that for Christmas or birthdays- we saw them as necessities for a) keeping fit and b) educational.

I think the crux of this discussion is who is the spending making happier? My guess it's the parents as kids are usually happy with anything and don't expect to have their wish list granted!

Quite sad to read 23 pages of mostly posts about a commercial Christmas- so far removed from what it used to be and what it's supposed to be a celebration of unless your faith is different.

RoseMartha · 26/11/2019 13:49

I have older dc who are 12 and have spent abt £55 on each.

Passthecherrycoke · 26/11/2019 13:55

“Quite sad to read 23 pages of mostly posts about a commercial Christmas- so far removed from what it used to be and what it's supposed to be a celebration of unless your faith is different.”

When are you going back to though? I’m a child of the 80s and we had loads of plastic crap without Care, there was no consciousness of environmental issues like there is now .

It’s also never been religious for us, going back to my atheist grandfather born in 1920

ethelfleda · 26/11/2019 13:59

Won’t spend any more than £100 on DS - he is 2. But probably not even that much. We will mainly buy books and clothes with maybe a toy. Mainly because, the rest of the family will do what they did for his 2nd birthday and buy him loads of huge plastic noisy toys and he will be overwhelmed with it all and we will have to take some off him. For his age, he has a really good attention span and will spend quite a while playing with one thing. I want that to continue as long as poss.
We may even put some toys away and bring one or two out a few weeks later!
He does love books though!
If we try to tell family members who ask to buy him clothes, they always ignore the size we tell them to get and get something far too big because it ‘looked the right size’
And buy the time it does fit him, it’ll be summer and he won’t wear that lovely Zara jacket that his auntie bought him so it’ll get donated.

MrsKoala · 26/11/2019 14:38

kids are usually happy with anything and don't expect to have their wish list granted!

Grin Mine definitely do expect things from their letter to Santa, otherwise what's the point of them writing one? When DS1 was 4 it was his first xmas he understood the concept of Santa and he was opening things then got confused and said 'where's x, y, and z? I put it on my order'. We then explained that you didn't get everything, but he was quite disappointed. It hadn't occurred to us that he would think he'd get it all.

We fucked up that Christmas too because we did everything from Santa (I didn't do Santa really as a child and DH did all from Santa). Then last year we did half Santa and half us, but it was just random so we forgot what was meant to be from Santa.

This year it's 2 from Santa, 2 from us and 1 from my parents. I may look at stockings but I have no idea what to put in them that wont just go in the bin/on the floor.

Sadly there isn't much other than presents that my kids like Christmas for. Which I find really upsetting but I don't know how to change that as that's all I remember liking about it too really; apart from seeing family and now I don't have any so I can't provide that for the kids. I find Christmas upsetting in general tbh.

user6289264 · 26/11/2019 14:41

Santa just brings stockings here too. That's how about 90% of people I know do it too, some also do 1 under the tree gift from Santa.

Glitteryone · 26/11/2019 14:47

I spend around £600 each on my kids....

I loved the excitement of opening the living room door to a sofa full of presents when I was a kid and I wanted mine to have the same.

It sounds like loads but I don’t by shite for the sake of making it look good - it’s all stuff they really want or need! For example, now they’re up a bit (10&8) they are asking for trainers & clothes.

They both still believe in Santa and in our house everything is from him.

PepePig · 26/11/2019 14:51

@JinglingHellsBells

Quite sad to read 23 pages of mostly posts about a commercial Christmas- so far removed from what it used to be and what it's supposed to be a celebration of unless your faith is different.

I've read it a different way. I think if you're deliberately being tight when you have the money, it's miserable. Christmas is about selfless giving and generosity, not being as frugal as possible when you don't need to. As long as you don't spend what you can't afford.

I just don't see the point in doing the whole Santa/Christmas thing if you aren't even going to try and get into the spirit. If you're spending £20 on a child and have thousands in the bank... what's the point? Hmm

Passthecherrycoke · 26/11/2019 14:52

Exactly that pepepig

NameChangeNugget · 26/11/2019 14:57

It’s all relative to what you can afford. I think that’s enough myself.

Why do people on here get so excited about other people’s spending? Calling it a stealth boast for spending £400 on stocking fillers, is bloody ridiculous

JinglingHellsBells · 26/11/2019 15:00

Christmas is about selfless giving and generosity, @PepePig

Is it? Who decided that?

It used to be about remembering and celebrating the birth of Jesus, going to church 3 x a day , having a lovely lunch with family (and I say that as a non believer.) and giving small gifts. Now it seems to be an arms race on who can spend the most.

It's about loving your family and spending time together. Giving a gift or two is part of that. Not a mega blow out where people go crazy giving loads of gifts.

The true meaning of Christmas has been lost.

Celebelly · 26/11/2019 15:06

But spending money on presents and the meaning of Christmas aren't mutually exclusive. Just because you spend whatever arbitrary amount is deemed to be 'too much' on MN doesn't mean your child isn't enjoying or valuing some of the other stuff about Christmas! I loved presents as a kid but I also loved seeing my cousins and other family I didn't get to see often, the big family meal with crackers, watching a Muppet Christmas Carol on TV, leaving a mince pie and whisky for Santa...

Celebelly · 26/11/2019 15:12

Look, we each live our lives and take pleasure in different ways and in different things. There's no 'right' way to do Christmas, there is only 'your' way, which is nothing to do with anyone else. Accept that some people enjoy spending their money, those of us who are fortunate enough to have spare, on things that will bring pleasure and joy to their children and other family. We all choose to spend our money on different things and in different ways. Some people have expensive hobbies, like cars, like expensive clothes or Male-up or perfume. Some people don't. Some people like to use their money to spend at Christmas. Some people prefer not to spend much.

I honestly don't understand why people get so defensive and enraged at what other people do.

Is 400 enough for two dc?
Celebelly · 26/11/2019 15:13

Heh, male-up. The feminism board will be after me. Make-up of course.

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 26/11/2019 15:13

I think it sounds fine to me OP and didn't sounds braggy at all...if you'd said I'm spending £1000 each on my kids, is that enough, then yep that's a (not very) stealth Bragg.

Budget for DS has always been the same, about £200

That's usually:
£100 on main gift (from us)
£50 Main Santa present
£50 stocking fillers (pjs,cd,etc)

Has worked well so far and hes 8 now.

HairyToity · 26/11/2019 15:15

Wowsers. I will have spent £200 on my two year old and six year old.

PepePig · 26/11/2019 15:23

@JinglingHellsBells

It used to be about remembering and celebrating the birth of Jesus, going to church 3 x a day , having a lovely lunch with family (and I say that as a non believer.) and giving small gifts

Who says? I've never heard of church 3 times a day. Jesus and the Nativity, yes, but the rest of that is your own personal interpretation. Christmas also has strong pagan roots, so it wasn't always entirely religious.

I think most people associate Christmas nowadays with generosity and giving. Whether it's to a charity or family/friends. Being a tight arse isn't Christmassy in the slightest.

We could all save money by not having a Christmas dinner, a tree, buying gifts, donating to charity, etc... but life is for living. I'd rather enjoy it than purposely buy my kids sfa. If I wanted to keep all my money to myself, I wouldn't have had a child. Simple.

(As I said previously, I obviously don't condone getting into debt or spending above your means).

Thoughtlessinengland · 26/11/2019 15:29

See I don’t get this. I have a child of that age. I am trying to think whether/why I would pluck a number out of the air for said child and wonder whether said number was enough. Just can’t do it. Can’t manage to frame the question like that. He will get what he gets. Some of which he needs, some he fancies some we fancy and that’s all there is to it. How did you arrive at a random number and then how does your brain try to work out if it’s enough? How can there be an answer to that question?

notnowmaybelater · 26/11/2019 15:40

PepePig paganism is a religion... Pagan Yuletide celebrations were religious and involved animal sacrifice and feasting but as far as I know not gift giving - that came in with the Christians.

PepePig · 26/11/2019 15:45

@notnowmaybelater

You're very much correct. I tend to forget that other 'religions' exist out of the standard religious norm Smile. The whole holiday seems to be a huge mix of different cultures from across the Globe. I do find it a bit tedious when people say the spirit of Christmas has been lost- which bit? Or are some bits more 'important' than others?

Dishwashersaurous · 26/11/2019 15:50

Interestingly gift giving only really began with the victorians, replicating that Albert bought Victoria gifts. Eg in Tudor times there would have been no gifts

Wonder what will be the norm in two hundred years time

Shelby30 · 26/11/2019 15:52

Sounds like a gd amount to me. It obv depends what they've asked for though, I mean if one has asked for the lol doll house then 😮 £200 wont stretch far, think it's on offer around that price, rrp £250!

My little girl is 2, I've budgeted £200 just because I thought that was a big enough amount to get her a big present and lots of others. However, I keep seeing more and buying more. I know it's starting to get ridiculous and I need to reign it in but I can afford it so not like I'm in debt or anything for it. I've already spent over that and I've still got a few more bits to get her 🙈

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 26/11/2019 16:03

Quite sad to read 23 pages of mostly posts about a commercial Christmas- so far removed from what it used to be and what it's supposed to be a celebration of unless your faith is different.

You are aware gift giving is only a small part of Christmas, and Christmas isn’t religion based for many families.

Shockingly Hmm many families do thing differently and have their own traditions, outside the cultural norm.

Shopkinsdoll · 26/11/2019 16:17

Glitteryone
Snap! I woke up to a chair full of presents when I was growing up. I can remember the magical feeling. I want the same for mine. I buy stuff they need, trainers, jumpers, colouring pens, water bottles. Also toys. We spend approx 400+ on each child.