Is 400 enough for two dc?

[Lipperfromchipper]

Just a Christmas question, dc are 6 and 4,
I have spent about 320 so far and was thinking if I spent another 80 between them on stocking fillers that would be plenty?? But I’m getting cold feet about that!!? How much have you spent on two dc of similar ages??

We are talking at cross purposes then @Ponoka7 as I've just found the book I'm talking about it. It's called Watching The English. I have no idea what article you are talking about, but it's not what I'm referencing at all.

@passthecherrycoke - you may also think its true if you read it. How would you know, not having actually read it?

@Ponoka7 very well put.

There's also this strange assertion on this thread that spending a certain amount of money = mountains of presents or tat. To take the shoes analogy again, good quality items cost more than poor quality items. If you're buying something that's going to get a lot of use, then you're often worth spending the extra (if you are in a position to be able to) to get something that is better made and will last. I would rather spend £150 and get a few good quality wooden toys than £50 on the same amount of plastic toys (and I'm in the fortunate position of being able to do this). Or £150 on a proper, good quality bike that's going to be ridden to school and back every day and at the park at weekends v a cheaper one that might have to be replaced six months down the line. Then it's not so much about cost but value.

That's plenty OP. At those ages they won't know the difference between a £10 gift and a £100 gift. Don't get obsessed with presents. I have very fond memories of my childhood Christmases but I couldn't tell you what presents I received when I was 6 years old.

All this is interesting and has made me think a lot about my spending habits.
We have a fairly high income. I don’t set a budget for Christmas as we don’t have to. However I spend far less than some of the figures quoted on here... I choose 2 or 3 things I know they’d really like plus a stocking, and as they’re only 6 and 4 these items generally aren’t too expensive so I probably end up spending about £120 per child.
However... in the summer when I noticed mine had outgrown their bikes, I bought new bikes. Both have autumn/winter birthdays so there was no point me waiting for them to get them. We are going to the panto and to a Santa Woodland experience in December, and a mini UK holiday between Christmas and new year. I don’t include these things in my Christmas spend as they are paid for out of our every day disposable income. I also spend approx £250 per month on extra curricular activities. So overall I can see that I spend far more on my children than a lot of people who buy nothing all year then spend loads at Christmas.
Generally, I couldn’t care less what people spend at Christmas. The only thing I find a bit troublesome is the competitive spending/present piles (and I think that’s why the OP has got a hard time on this thread, as the wording was about amounts spent rather than the gifts themselves).
And although everyone on this thread has said they can afford it and don’t get into debt over it, the fact is that a lot of people can’t afford it, and do get into debt over it, as they think they have to spend a lot to give their DC a good Christmas. They don’t.

Because as I said @NoGuarantee this is a very well used idea. You’re not saying anything new, it’s not something the article writer researched or thought up themselves. The idea that poor people buy designer because they’re too embarrassed to be seen in charity shops and need to look rich is well worn snobbery

@NoGuarantee

"nothing from us as we have large families which will spoil them with many presents."

So your children get plenty from others, well we don't all have that. Or is your world so limited that you don't get that?

"In fact, upper middle classes tend to spend less period"
Then whose shopping at Boden and such places? Whose booking the skiing holidays? Of course they don't. Think about it.

It wasn't a "really good article".

It's part of the agenda that tells us that poor people are poor because, we don't work hard enough and we spend our money (a whole £18k a year) on Christmas and TVs.

When they spend their £100+k a year on life enhancing experiences. So are so superior.

No guarantee I have cross posted with you- I’ve read watching the English many times - very different to an article and yes, it’s still blatant, unintelligent, uninsightful naive, snobbery.

I did like her breakdown of buying a round in, however

If the OP is in such a comfortable position to have no mortgage and have trust funds set up for her kid's future, she can obviously afford to spend a bit more than others.

I'm guilty of the Christmas twitch as are many. If a games console makes up part of the €400 then it probably doesn't look like she has bought many gifts.

I think it's great that the OP has checked whether the twitch is necessary before spending more, and she's had more than enough of a reality check, to the point where I think some PP have been a bit unfair.

I also think on a thread where it's been openly said that £200 per child is outrageous when some families are using food banks, that it's hypocritical to then discuss toy quality with phrases such as "plastic tat".

We all know consumerism, and particularly plastic, are huge causes for concern environmentally, but for some families a bit of "plastic tat" is all they can afford, and no parent wants to leave their child with nothing to open on Christmas day.

Items should be things that fit within a family's budget and that the children will enjoy.

My close friend will spend probably £500 per child on "plastic tat", and like every year she will look at the mountains of gifts and feel it's not enough. Family will buy as well.

Another friend has spent about £30 on each and family will spend a fortune.

My youngest has a couple of things he needs (first shoes, his own dinner set), something special of his own (wooden tractor and animals), and a new book. £50 I think.

My eldest has an explorer's kit, Playdoh, family games, some new books. £65.

They've got a huge bundle of Duplo to share. £75.

And stockings will total about £15 each. Both have a couple of small quality toys, socks, bubbles, some chocolate or sweets and a piece of fruit.

Just over £200 for both. No family presents. I will be happy with that, and so will they. But we didn't need any big ticket items. Most things will last years and will be put away for future grandchildren.

All three of us have very different situations, and approach Christmas in very different ways, but we all love our children and are just trying to do our best for them.

AIBU was probably the wrong place for this thread. The Christmas board would have been a better place. But what's done is done.

FWIW, I hope everyone who has contributed to the thread has a wonderful Christmas, whatever your situations are.

Elbeagle- that’s a very good post. I’ve spent £70 on panto tickets, that’s nearly half the “ridiculous” amount here. Imo, going to the panto is a perfectly normal thing to do (and it’s always sold out so lots of other people think so too)

Because there is an unfair advantage for people who can't splurge on huh ugh quality expensive items that last a lifetime, or can't afford to bulk buy, or buy a new car outright. Those that have to spend on lower quality items more frequently are spending more and it's unjust and unfair, as they are the ones with little disposible income. It's not rocket science.

My family get my kids loads, so my answer to the question of how much I spend, its not a lot.

It's a book, not an article. Called Watching the English. Read it if you'd like, it sounds like it would be up your street.

I am firmly in the 95% with a household income of 45k but thanks for the assumption.

I totally agree with the comments about having access to laptops and life experiences outside of Christmas. I'm not arguing about tat bought from the pound shops that end of in landfill. I'm agreeing with you that people who have smaller families will spend more on their kids to give them the same amount.

I quoted from the book as the socio economic arguments about people with money being able to be more frugal applied here. Not sure why I'm getting it in the neck for mentioning the book.

I have no idea what sneering article is being bandied around but it wasn't from me.

Right, I'm flouncing. This thread is absolutely doing my head in.

Pass the cherry coke, share your sneering article then please? I'm interested.

Yes, a book is different to an article. I was mistaken.

And weird to have read a book 'many times' that you think was so shit 🤔

Op is clearly financially very comfortable, no mortgage and trust funds so if she wants to spend whatever she wants she clearly can.

This has got me thinking about the different ways families approach Christmas and whether presents are the main or just a part of it.

I will get my children a present obviously, a Lego set or similar and some books and maybe one or two other things If I see something. That’s how I’ve always done it and I don’t think I’m unusual. It’s not the amount that matters as Christmas presents are not an integral part of the day.

I think youve misunderstood. I’m not mentioning an article. You started taking about an article that you couldnt find then demanding other posters linked you to the one they were talking about (they weren’t talking about one)

I’m saying your theory, and reference, are well worn snobbery. And watching the English is just another avenue that it’s been communicated by.

Sorry pass, I got you and @Ponoka7 mixed up briefly. They mentioned a sneering article they'd read that they thought was the one I was referencing...

@yeah - I'm genuinely interested - when you say you only got your 10 and 7 year old a few stocking fillers last year - was there nothing they had asked for? Were they not disappointed not to even get one present beyond the stocking?

it’s obvious children want fewer high value items as they get older

Not in my experience, they want brand names and consoles and Canada goose and my 17yo cousin was bought a car last year so I can’t see that.

The point remains regardless of the item. You can buy quality for less if you are willing to seek it out. I still spend £200 on mine but they get a lot for it because I source it all year round and where it is better value to do so, I buy older electronic items second hand and refurb them.

That sounds about right to me. We've spent around £250 on presents for our son, we try to get him things that will last and he'll use throughout the year. We don't really buy toys other than for birthdays and Christmas. I think it's best to spend what you can afford, I wouldn't want to go into debt for Christmas presents.

Can I just say that I know someone who wraps a tiny presents in huge boxes so that when she posts them on fb the night before it looks like more. THAT is the epitome of ridiculous.

I'd say so, but it depends on what you want to buy them. Dd is 5 and has asked for the Barbie dream house this year. I have spent more than I would have liked because I didn't want her having just one present.

@IamPickleRick I think that poster meant 'fewer, high-value items.' So fewer items but correspondingly larger in value.

Yes celeb that’s what I meant

Those spending less than £50 despite affording more... when do you kids get bikes? Computers for school work? Better quality art supplies? Good quality board games? iPads etc if they have them? Mobile phones as they get older? What about new Pjs or their favourite clothing/make up etc? Equipment for their hobbies?

It’s different if you can’t afford it but as already mentioned it tends to be the wealthier households that come on here saying they give a £5 note and a satsuma and they would be horrified if their child asked for more. I’ve yet to find many families that don’t have the above items in their houses, usually of better quality too! Either you are buying things through the year, have other family members who buy these things for your kids or you are talking bs when you come on here and claim anything over £50 is excessive.

Those genuinely struggling I feel for you. Please don’t feel bad, I grew up receiving less than my peers and it hasn’t held me back in anyway. Yes in an ideal world all kids would receive what they need but your kids won’t come to harm if their piles are small. My comments aren’t targeted at you at all, they are aimed at the we could afford it but wont’ brigade as actually I think it’s offensive to people who genuinely struggle but wish they could do more.

No that’s not enough. You need to double it at least. And don’t forget to post a photo of the pile and how much it cost on FB. Obviously.

Yes, I don’t think they ask for fewer high value items. They ask for more items and higher value items. My cousins car wasn’t her only gift.