Is 400 enough for two dc?

[Lipperfromchipper]

Just a Christmas question, dc are 6 and 4,
I have spent about 320 so far and was thinking if I spent another 80 between them on stocking fillers that would be plenty?? But I’m getting cold feet about that!!? How much have you spent on two dc of similar ages??

"My DD is two and I've spent around £5-10 on her stocking, most of it is tat from the £ store & The Works but I know it will keep her amused for a good few weeks"

It's the £1 store crap, that's killing the planet. Many parents would rather spend more, so the toys get played with longer (toy rotation helps with this) and is still in good condition to be passed on.

@LucaFritz, but then that means your child would never get, a bike, dolls House, lego, swings etc for the garden, sand pit. One year, in the 90's I bought my DD "polly pocket world", it was around £200, but she played with it for three years, as she did her lego.

Which brings us on to people with money. @NoGuarantee, I was going to point out that your article had used a very true TP analogy and turned it around, using it to sneer at the poor people.

If you have a charmed life, which those in good housing, with disposable money, good holidays, private schools etc have, you don't need treats. People whose lives are hard going, do. They need to make the most of celebrations, so they spend in smaller windows.

But you can bet that the wealthy people's clothing/toy budgets are still through the roof, when compared.

Children from wealthy families get everything they need from birth. So a Laptop for studying will already be available and won't have to be provided as a special present. Nor will good quality clothing. Food is good all year round and the house is warm. Things are bought for development and hobby purposes, so a bike/riding lessons/snorkel/skiing/hiking gear, is provided as a lifestyle enhancer. They will get ferried around in warm cars to after school curricular hobbies, so no need for 'stuff'. The equity in their parents houses will set them up, then later on they'll get a nice inheritance. Whereas for the bottom rung, there will be none of that. So they give it will they can.

If what's being said on this thread is true, then the likes of Rees- Mogg, BJ/ the rest of the Conservative party and the £20 burning Cambridge Students would all be the most empathetic people on the planet. Whereas they don't have a clue.

The posters saying that they don't buy much, because family do, again, the lack of awareness is astounding.

I don't spend money on stuff for the sake of it, but still spend around £250 on two grandchildren. That includes things like a doll house, an outside play house, kindle, dublo, a decent supermarket set.

My GC, this year will get a holiday for her fifth December Birthday. She wanted to go on a plane, so I've paid for flights and the hotel. She will get craft/slime making kits for Christmas.

The wealthier people I know, just book weekends away as standard. But we can't do that. So my budget for Birthday/Christmas this year, for my GC has been near £400. I'm on minimum wage level, but I'm mortgage free.

Children from the bottom rung don't have to be taught that a good life isn't just given on a plate. They live it every day. So do their parents, so stop sneering at what is their good times.

Spend what you can afford it's no one's business what people spent on there DC at Christmas we spend alot even more so now there a bit older and it's gadgets and tech I was £130 on just an outfit each out JD yesterday .we start in August or we would struggle to get it all it's personal choice if you think that's enough then it's enough .

@Ponoka7, you've even read the bloody article, I take it? It's not sneering I'm the slightest. It's a socioeconomic comment on the UK. It was specifically considering the unwritten rules of the English class system. There was nothing sneering about my comment talking about this article either.

Anyway, it alludes me, the link, so you'll all have to take my word for it!

@Ponoka7 well said.

Piles of tat for Christmas isn't an achievement. I think if you're doing a stocking just to fill it with that, well, you'd be better off not bothering at all.

I'm fed up with people who save for Christmas who are on a M/W being seen as stupid. I just had my DD this year, so I'm working in retail between now and my next maternity leave as the hours are flexible. Between myself and her grandparents she'll have about £200ish spent on her (she'll be 11 months). All of the toys are either ones she'll use for years (well until she's 3/4)ish- toy kitchen, water/sand table), or they're educational. Wooden puzzles. Books. Arm bands for swimming. Little toy animals. Aqua draw. Etc. It's a stuff that's 12m+ or 18m+ that she can use throughout the year. No tat. All thought out.

As I'm expecting again, we picked gifts that will also benefit that child when they're old enough, too. They can play with them together. Second baby will get good use out of them, too.

I'd rather that than spend money on absolute shite when I can afford not to, then wonder a week later why none of it gets played with

But it's not to do with class; it's to do with not having any choice. Poorer people have to buy cheap shoes more often because they can't afford to pay, say, £100 in one go. So while it costs them more over the same period, it's more manageable for cash flow. It's not about people from 'lower classes' choosing to keep buying new shoes because they're somehow inexplicably drawn to having to buy new things more frequently or that they like spending more money than they need to.

@Ponoka7 That was an excellent post and very true. It's also my experience that affluent families (I am from one) don't necessarily spend less at Christmas anyway, except for the ones who seem to see it as a badge of honour and proudly proclaim they are 'giving less' while being quite oblivious to how much their child actually has v some of those who give more at Christmas.

I wish people wouldn't start threads like this.

Out of interest have you actually RTFT??!! I haven’t got them piles of meaningless tat...I have got them what the asked for yes

... Sadly yes, I have wasted quite a lot of my life reading it all. What did they ask for out of interest? What can a 4 and 6 yr old actually ask for? Presumably they ask for what their friends want or have, or they have seen on TV.

Why do you think they have to have what they ask for? Are you unable to make a decision yourself on what is reasonable? Why ask strangers is £x amount is 'enough'? Enough for whom? Your kids? Your own conscience? Other people looking on?

Sadly you seem unable to answer these questions in any meaningful way.

You aren't doing your kids any favours by providing everything they ask for. My Dcs might ask for a brand new BMW. I could buy them one each ( stealth boast ) but would I? No because I'd rather they learned about saving and hence appreciating it all.

You yourself have not been able to say why you asked is £320 was 'enough' and how you got cold feet over topping it up to £400.

WTF is that about????

@Ragwort you started a pension scheme for your son? You do realise that’s incredibly unusual?

I don't spend money on stuff for the sake of it, but still spend around £250 on two grandchildren. That includes things like a doll house, an outside play house, kindle, dublo, a decent supermarket set.

I'd say that was excessive. Kids appreciate the thought. Or ought to. Mine would have got ONE of those. It's totally OTT to buy them all. Ridiculous.

I earn a lot of money comparatively and have never in their lives spent this amount of money on my kids. They get one present from DH and me and one from the dog. They get a stocking with maybe 8 smaller presents (book, skin care, socks etc). I didn't want my kids to grow up spoiled and unappreciative.

FWIW I'm considered comfortably off. But we are not into this expensive present giving. I actually think there is something mindless and obscene about it.

My own parents were poor and although they loved their grandchildren to bits, never spent more than around £20 on each of them for Xmas or birthdays. This year they will get a cheque for that amount from their gran and they will be really appreciative.

I don’t think we need the article @NoGuarantee as what you’re saying is an often lauded position used as a way to sneer at working class people. I suspect people are Challenging you because we’re not in the 1970s anymore

Children from the bottom rung don't have to be taught that a good life isn't just given on a plate. They live it every day. So do their parents, so stop sneering at what is their good times

(Stands up and applauds)

Just to add to Panokas near perfect post:

Christmas has always been about pressing the fuck it button and cheering yourself up.

It happens in the dead of winter when nothing grows ad everyone's living off food reserves...

And yet it calls for rich fruit cake, spiced pies, a piece of large roast meat and alcohol.

Do you think these things were cheap or easily availiable to our ancestors? Do you think it was sensible of them to use it up all at once?

It's always been about having that one bright spot in the midst of hardship. If you have so little hardship in your life that you don't understand the value of that then good for you. But stop pissing on our sandcastles.

My original post about class specifically said that it wasn't related to this OP but it was interesting none the less 🙄 I'm just explaining the point I was making, not saying the OP is working class. I have no idea what 'class' she is obviously.

Celebelly, you've totally missed the point. It was about middle classes being able to brag about getting bargains from charity shops and fb marketplace whereas those from poorer less affluent classes won't, or can't, brag to their friends about getting a really amazing Hobbs suit from the cancer research shop down the road. There are loads of people on here saying they are giving second hand presents to their kids (me included). Coming from a more affluent 'class' allows a privilege in that respect.

Oh god how naive are you. You don’t think non affluent people use charity shops or if they do can’t tell others? I’m cringing.

I'm quoting the fucking article ffs.

Pass, yes, I do appreciate it is unusual, but I imagine that my annual contributions to my DS’s pension scheme are considerably less than some of the amounts quoted on this thread as being spent on Christmas presents, I get that it's my choice, but personally I would rather invest for my DS’s future than buy him ‘big impact’ presents for Christmas. He is 18 now and has never felt hard done by and is pleased that he has a pension scheme started and house deposit building up (& he is studying Economics at Uni ).

@NoGuarantee, I've actually read the article and the answer to it.

Of course it was sneery. It went on the premise that the poorer classes spent so they felt better than their peers. You totally agreed with that.

When they spend to give themselves a good time. We don't all need to have someone to look down on.

The eating of high fat/sugar foods, the spending in small blocks, can be completely explained by psychology.

As soon as our brains developed we all had celebrations. At those times we would treat ourselves, allow ourselves to eat/dance. Because we need that.

Like everything else, that is carried out differently according to socio-economic positioning.

The article you talk about was a very negative take on the habits of poor people.

But you’re the one going on about the article. You’re the one who thinks it’s true. It’s clearly not.

I buy high value items second hand. My son is 8 and has a DSLR, I know that sounds extravagant but he wants a career as a photographer and it was £20 second hand. Far far better than a £100 fisher price piece of crap.

He’s getting a first gen iPad this year and some second hand games for his DS which admittedly I did buy new about 3 years ago but has been well used so second hand would probably have broken by now.

It’s not how much you spend (although I do not think £200 is unreasonable at all) but how you spend it.

@Ragwort, out of interest did he still go on holiday as a child, have a bike, lego, get use of a laptop/phone etc. What did you not spending look like?

My parents are the types that could afford to save to do up their council place nicely but could never save to own their own home. They could have probably got the deposit together, but the additional expense of home ownership would have meant the place would be mostly in disrepair. Especially by now.

One thing they could save for is loads of Xmas gifts. Both came from poor families and Xmas (especially for my dad) would be anything from a roast dinner (good year) to the kids eating beans on stale toast and their mum going without. Presents weren't a thing most years and maybe a small gift some years. So for me and my siblings, our parents have always gone all out. I have no idea of cost tbh but I remember that me and my older sister would each get a gift worth 2 or 3 hundred pounds each plus loads of stocking fillers and clothes and make up and stuff. Our Uncles and Aunts would give each kid a bit of money or a gift too.

My dad and stepmom have 3 kids together and me and my older sister are in some ways more like an Aunty than sibling. Especially to the youngest. I probably spend 100 quid on her each Xmas.

I'd say for us families where having enough money to do these things even if we've got little else is important. I think we have a collective memory of when we couldn't and we know there is little point in living frugally in the hope of social mobility. We have enough money to be comfortably poor.

Well To be fair, if the pension scheme you’ve set up for him contributes £400 a year it’s not much of a pension scheme. Lucky as he is I don’t think I’d be forgoing Christmas presents for it

That’s the strange thing about people demanding to know whether someone who has spent £400 on Xmas has pensions, Savings, debt. £400 a year is nothing in a pension scheme. It’s arguably a bit daft to save £400 a year and let your children go without Christmas presents, as the effect on them would be far more serious and far reaching than having £400 savings.

I hardly think your 8 year old would be interested in fisher price crap though Iampicklerick it’s obvious children want fewer high value items as they get older

Why would you want a tangerine in a stocking?! They're in the fruit bowl every day.