To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

Dear me. She should see it as a complement.

On a more philosophical point, civilisation is the result of cultural interactions. Historically the dominant cultures have spread, brought their own cultures and languages with them and absorbed aspects of the local cultures they interact with. This cultural exchange is how Europe has so many different languages. Otherwise we would al be speaking vernacular Latin. Many of the classic names in the UK are of Norman origin even though the number of Normans who settled here wasn't that great. The English language bears hallmarks of the cultural exchanges that took place on this island when different groups arrived by invasion or immigration.

Life would be terribly dull if different cultural groups never interacted and never exchanged knowledge and ideas.

It’s a name. No-one owns a name. I don’t get me k I need in a twist when Americans with no scottish connections name their kids McKenzie or such (well, actually I do but not ‘ooooo that’s culturally appropriation wah!!’ way but in a ‘that’s a bloody surname!’ way).

@TitusOatesLivesNextDoor
Don't be intimidated by this shite. Borrow a bit of cultural appropriation from the Anglo Saxon and tell her to fuck off.

Brilliant

‘me k I need’ = my knickers in a twist...

I think to be thought of as cultural appropriation what you take/copy etc needs to be something culturally significant to that culture. For example, religious or tribal iconography, prints that symbolise your tribe or national dress. Names are very rarely as significant as these, they travel over borders naturally because they belong to individuals. I also think cultural appropriate demonstrates power structures that are in place or have been in place. So, it is more difficult when a name you pick is from a former colony in some instances.

Depends on the name I think.

I know someone who named her daughter a Japanese name. No connection to Japan from her or the father, and they’ve consequently spent the past 5 years fending off questions about her ethnicity and identity. As the mum cares for her primarily, many have assumed the dad is asian (like myself initially) and it was quite jarring to find out that’s not the case. She also styles her DD’s hair to look quite Japanese and the whole thing feels a little like she’s dressing her up in another culture’s costume?

It’s also a name that has specific meaning in Japanese. I don’t like it to be honest!

well, actually I do but not ‘ooooo that’s culturally appropriation wah!!’ way but in a ‘that’s a bloody surname!’ way

Haha

Calling your daughter 'son of Kenzie' is kind of weird when you think about it.

It depends really.
If your DD is white British and she is called Shilpa or Tandeka then they have a point. If she’s call Sian or Morag then much less so.

It depends on the name.

if a culture has faced oppression and discrimination and then someone who has no understanding of this comes along and steals a name etc

This is utter bollocks. You cannot "steal" a name. The nature of theft is that it deprives the rightful owner of being able to use the asset.

This bit: Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

annoyed me. Anyone who gossips maliciously like that is beyond the pale. I sincerely hope nobody took any notice of the woman who is behaving in a totally inappropriate manner.

I need to know the name .. I NEED to!

@prawnsword
You do know that white afrikaaners are descended from French hugenoets?

For gods sake don’t send your daughter to school in a beret, sombrero or a kilt OP.

She's being a tit

I know a very white couple who have two girls with very Indian names. It’s a bit odd, but no one has ever commented.
We live in an area with no ethnicities apart from white British.

My son's name is German/Danish/Swedish/Norwegian.... but it's also Scottish, like my family.

Maybe just say “it’s DMIL’s middle name” - or something similar? 😂

(I tell quite a few people that my name is “Helga” - no cultural connection here either!)

Without knowing the names no one can say but I will echo the many posters who have said it depends on the historical power dynamics.

My understanding of cultural appropriation, in its simplest forms, is white people doing things that people of colour have been knocked down for doing. So a woman of colour with dreadlocks may be criticised for her hair style but a white woman does it and she’s praised for being fashion forward. So if we colonised a country for years, contributed to its slave trade and stole their natural resources and you’ve chosen a name from that country simply because it’s pretty, bearing in mind while we colonised that country people often weren’t allowed to use traditional names, then yeah, she kind of has a point even if though wasn’t your intention.

I disagree with CA as a concept.
Unless something is othering, fetishising, insensitive or exploitative, or just incorrect in which case it should be challenged on those grounds it’s a meaningless concept.

I totally agree @Etinox.

I couldn't give a rat's arse if a non-Jew calls their child Boaz/Gil/Rebecca/Diana/Shmuel/Absalom and I actually do have a Jewish parent. It's a name. If you like it, use it.

Take no notice. My DD has an Irish name but we're English. No Irish person has ever accused me of cultural approbation.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats
Æthelred anyone?

Sure - provided you're a true-blood Saxon. We can't have anyone from the Norman oppressor class to be stealing our names.

She is daft.
Most names have roots in other cultures.
In my extended family, of the top of my head, one name root is French, one German, one is Russian, one is Arabic, one is Hebrew and none of my family are culturally connected to any of those languages or places.

Absolute rubbish!! Most names are from other places...
For example, my name is originally Greek. But it's such a widely used name in UK that no one questions it. Especially as I'm a half Indian with a Greek name.

STUPID!