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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parking one! Who is UR?

71 replies

manyfingersinmanypies · 25/11/2019 14:35

We have lived in our house for 8 years, and our neighbours have been here 4. Were three houses in a cul de sac. All owned.

Each house in the cul de sac has one allocated parking space. Our house has an extra (which we bought) bit of land which we've gravelled and turned into parking, accessible via our allocated space and one of the other houses have a similar set up. The third house just has their one space.

When you go into the cul de sac there is a round area with a turning space which is primarily for us (as we're in the corner) and the other neighbour with parking to turn so that you aren't required to reverse out onto a fairly fast moving main road almost on top of a junction. This is not a parking area but access to the houses and turning space.

However, since neighbours have moved in they've always parked one of their cars in the turning area. Though annoying, we've always let it go, as it's obviously convenient for them with a family not to have to park on the road (which is still right next to their house the road is only separated from their garden by a footpath).

A couple of weeks ago however a visitor to our home parked in the turning space because they were coming to watch my children and I needed to be able to get my car out (which I can't do if they're on my allocated space). No big deal, you'd think. Anyway I go to leave and neighbours have parked on our allocated space, completely blocking me in (because my car was on our gravelled area, and you have to drive over our allocated space to get out).

I knocked, and nicely asked them to move in the next 15 minutes or so so that I could get out. They refused unless my visitor moved. I explained that the turning space is not their own parking space, which they disputed. I was really polite and told them that unfortunately they were mistaken and that it's very clear on the deeds that they only have one space, and that their parking there is nothing more than a friendly courtesy, not their right. They insisted that it was their parking space, that their estate agent told them at the time they bought that it was theirs and did not move their car until my visitor left. They were quite rude and confrontational about it even though I was as polite and as reasonable and I could be.

I dug out the deeds - because I wanted to check I wasn't wrong in which case I'd have gone and apologised - and I was right. So I popped back round later to show them. They basically said they didn't give a shit and that they'd continue to park there there.

I explained that we didn't mind that even though it inconveniences us and the other house, but that in turn, they couldn't then complain or block us in if someone visiting us or the other house parked there. Either it's ok for people - including them - to park there and we all live and let live and accept that sometimes someone else is going to be there or no one parks there at all and it's kept as a turning space as intended.

Half the time they actually use their allocated space and their lawn, which I suggested maybe they could do if someone was on the tarmac, they refused. They've said if anyone parks on 'their' space then they will from now on block us or the other neighbour in and not move until whoever is parked there moves. I'm not sure how they plan to figure out who is at who's house!

Thoughts?! On the app so no voting option.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 25/11/2019 14:47

Could you ask the council to mark it with 'keep clear'

iano · 25/11/2019 14:49

Get bollards so they cannot block you in. If they park blocking the road call the police on them.

Strangerthingshere · 25/11/2019 14:50

I would phone the council and and ask for advice, nobody should be parking there at all

Strangerthingshere · 25/11/2019 14:50

Phone the council, nobody should be parking there at all

Holidaycountdown · 25/11/2019 14:51

YANBU...could you park in the allocated space so they can’t block you in?

Strangerthingshere · 25/11/2019 14:51

Sorry thought it hadn't posted!

Hont1986 · 25/11/2019 14:51

I don't really understand the layout tbh, this is why parking threads need diagrams.

Couldn't you and your visitor have just swapped? You pull out onto the road, she parks in your space, then you leave? Then there would have been no need for her to park in 'their' space?

Bringmewineandcake · 25/11/2019 14:51

Why didn’t your visitor park on the road in front of your neighbour’s house?

FreedomfromPE · 25/11/2019 14:55

Ask council to mark it seems a grown up idea. In the meantime find a friend with a car they don't use much but is taxed to park it there. Do it when you have no particular plans and deny all knowledge of said car. When they come round imply you thought it was their visitor. Ideally park your one of your cars elsewhere so you have it if you need it.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 25/11/2019 14:56

Well they’re arseholes but I don’t think there is much you can do about it beyond avoiding them as much as possible.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 25/11/2019 14:59

Well as it's a parking thread, we definitely need a diagram. But they sound like serious CFers and you need some bollards.

GoldFrankincenseMyrrh · 25/11/2019 15:03

Neighbour is being a dick. But sounds like they genuinely believe the space is theirs so they will think you are being a dick.

In these situations it really doesn't matter who is being unreasonable, you either dig your heels in for a good old neighbourly dispute (look through some of the threads on here about these and decide if it's something you want to live with) or you back down and try to reach a compromise.

I do not think presenting them with facts or truth is going to make a blind bit of difference, we're largely living in a post truth world where only each persons truth matters to them and facts are debatable and ignorable.

With all that in mind what should you do? Only you know your appetite for a fight and how important to you that "right" triumphs is. Personally I'd do what I could to protect my own property and forget this incident, I might even apologise to be honest however galling that might be.

manyfingersinmanypies · 25/11/2019 15:06

Council won't get involved at all, it's a private estate.

Even if I put a bollard in they could park blocking access to our space if they wanted to.

I don't know why my visitor parked there tbh. People do (that aren't the neighbour) from time to time. I suppose she'd probably seen a car there previously and so thought it was ok. It's clearly not anyone's space so they wouldn't have thought they were pinching anyone's actual spot (the allocated spaces are clear driveway style spaces, the rest of it is tarmac).

I will try to do a diagram!

OP posts:
PickwickThePlockingDodo · 25/11/2019 15:09

Come on OP, you know the rules - Diagram please!

But from what I am picturing in my head because of lack of diagram you definitely need some bollards.

Presumably you have a dropped kerb so they shouldn't park across it anyway?

DriftingLeaves · 25/11/2019 15:10

If they block you in it's a police matter. Make sure they realise that.

changeforprivacy · 25/11/2019 15:18

I don't get the agro over it tbh. You were going out, our visitor could have parked on your space and then the neighbours back in the turning space. I get that it is a turning space, but it's been used for them to park for so long I think you are U to find a problem with it simply because you have a visitor.

I'm a bit surprised you went as far as digging out the deeds to check tbh.

manyfingersinmanypies · 25/11/2019 15:22

@changeforprivacy I think it's because it's irritated and inconvenienced us for years but we've always just let it go because we try to be decent people and get on with neighbours. Then the one time someone else parks there and they want to go there they get the arse on, start blocking us in using our own space and refusing to move. It pissed me off royally!

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 25/11/2019 15:23

Needs a diagram.... currently YABU for not providing diagram...

manyfingersinmanypies · 25/11/2019 15:25

Sorry @WiddlinDiddlin, accepted I will do one once I have five minutes Grin

OP posts:
damnthatanxiety · 25/11/2019 15:34

Jeezuz, nightmare OP. The problem is, an arsehole stating that they are going to continue to do what they want regardless of the deeds is just not something that is easy to deal with. I don't know what to suggest but just wanted to extend my sympathies. Are they generally awful in other matters?

dementedpixie · 25/11/2019 15:46

Do you have factors that you pay to upkeep the estate? Well that's what we call them in scotland. Could they get involved to do markings?

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 25/11/2019 15:47

I'd get the deeds out too, cfs. How dare they park in the turning circle Angry

SevenStones · 25/11/2019 15:49

I rushed to this thread in great anticipation! Grin

But there's no diagram. Sad

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/11/2019 15:50

They are indeed BVU, but don't be the rightest person in the graveyard. A cul-de-sac of only three houses could be amazing if you all got on really well but, equally, can be a nightmare if one of the three is difficult.

Incidentally, though, why would you have to reverse out on to a busy main road if it's a cul-de-sac with only three houses on it? Could you reverse in to your spaces instead?

I'm sure the diagram will answer all!!

Greenkit · 25/11/2019 15:51

Hmmmmm, awaiting a diagram so it all makes sense

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