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AIBU?

Neighbour complaining about our garden lights

357 replies

Slave2love · 25/11/2019 11:09

Very petty and silly subject I know but here goes.
We have a small hedge on the edge of our front lawn to separate our garden from the neighbour's driveway. (Only recently planted, very small at this stage) further in on our lawn we have put a few small solar lights. Next doors drive is only just wide enough to squeeze 2 cars side by side and there is very little room to open doors etc. Until we put the hedge and lights in they were opening their car door fully over our garden in order to get out (also stepping on our land at times). Now I appreciate that we have made it awkward for them to open the doors fully now but surely they are not entitled to use our garden in order to get out of their car? They are new to the street but we knew of them previously and children are actually in the same class at school. Neighbour has asked this morning if we can move the solar lights. All has been pleasant with them up until now despite them being quite selfish neighbours. I could understand if the lights were on the boundary line but they are much further in. I feel it is them who have created the problem by parking 2 cars on a drive only really suitable for one. AIBU to not want to move the lights?

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Slave2love · 25/11/2019 13:58

Can I just that we didnt plant the hedge to make it awkward for them, just to create a boundary that they already weren't respectful of. Yes we have been annoyed by their behaviour in the past but we are not spiteful people nor confrontational. If I wanted to be awkward I wouldve put them right to the boundary. I will most probably end up moving the lights slightly but I'm not going to rush out and do it. Someone said what if shes on here and can see this post. Quite frankly I dont mind one bit. I havent said anything horrendous about them, just that I find their behaviour selfish. I think I am justified in being annoyed by their inconsiderate actions. The drive is only long enough for one car so if they parked one behind the other they would be sticking out in to the road although it is in a turning area. Previous owners have always parked their second car on the path and out of he way. (This part of the path is practically unused because of the layout of turnaround and their garden so as much as I dislike pavement parking they wouldn't be in anyone's way). I guess their comeback to that would be that they have a driveway and they want to use it despite not being able to get out without using our garden to do so. She has now parked in the road, probably to make a point that she cant get on her drive comfortably.

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FrancisCrawford · 25/11/2019 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/11/2019 14:01

Is that hedge box? It depends how tall you want it. If only very short ie just higher than a car door for example, it’s ok otherwise I agree it’s too close.

I’d leave the lights tbh. They sound like cheeky fuckers.

As for the decking, you need to look into this. If it’s as high as you’re saying, it’s in breach of planning laws. No planning is required as long as it’s not over something like 30cm above ground level. You’d have to check with the planning office. And you darn well should. It’s outrageous to feel a prisoner in your garden. They’re taking over by stealth by the sound of it.

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diddl · 25/11/2019 14:02

I'd think about a fence if possible.

They're not going to want you on their side to trim the hedge & it's unlikely that they'd take care doing it!

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thecalmorchid · 25/11/2019 14:04

My friends have this issue. The access to the neighbours house runs the whole side of my friends front garden. The houses are set back for each other.

Their drive is alongside my friends front garden and it's delivery vans and visitors that are the problem.
The garden was constantly churned up as the verge gets flooded and soft so any wheels that creep over make a real mess of the lawn.
One particular van decided to reverse to turn, right across the front garden, huge mess.

I visited last week and was surprised to see low voltage cattle fencing down the boundary line.

Did the job! I don't think it's actually connected to electricity but it's white poles hammered into the ground and a white tape at a meter. So it does a good job of defining boundary.

Due to deeds they are not allowed to put a permanent structure in to define boundary. Cattle poles are designed to be moved around regularly so are not permanent. Once the winter is over they will be removed for the summer anyway as the ground is firmer then.

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DarlingNikita · 25/11/2019 14:04

I guess their comeback to that would be that they have a driveway and they want to use it They have a driveway for ONE car, not two.

She has now parked in the road, probably to make a point that she cant get on her drive comfortably. So let her make her point, if it makes her feel better. Honestly I wouldn't be giving a rat's ass if it were me and my neighbours had acted as you describe.

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4DrivetPrive · 25/11/2019 14:07

@SassenachWitch some big white boulders would help stop that, my friend had the same issue until his Dad gave them a couple of rocks to put on the grass. NDN magically learned how to navigate their wide drive without ruining the grass.

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makingmammaries · 25/11/2019 14:07

Put some posts up on the boundary to protect your hedge. Then remove the lights if you feel so inclined :)

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LakieLady · 25/11/2019 14:07

@BrokenWing: is their monoblock permeable?

If not, they may have fallen foul of building regs or planning regs. The regs were brought in because storm drains are becoming overwhelmed as towns get more paved and concreted over.

I'd get the council to check it out, but I'm a bloody minded bitch. Grin

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Laughterisbest · 25/11/2019 14:08

If you move the lights it will let her park and walk on your garden.
You shouldn't move them.

I still think the hedge is a mistake though. You need a wall. It can't be bashed like a hedge or even a fence, and doesn't need maintenance.

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Andbreatheout · 25/11/2019 14:14

In light of the update forgetting the fact I missed it was your garden and not driveway I'd say very politely 'Sorry, I had no idea it was so bothersome to you' and plant some mini conifers along the boundary so it isn't visible from their side. Least you can do is be accommodating to the fact they don't like it Grin

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Slave2love · 25/11/2019 14:15

As much as I would like to put up a wall or fence I dont think the covenant would allow for it. But surely if they the lights are making it awkward to open doors then they will absolutely hate us for putting up a more permanent structure! We are on pleasant terms with them although we arent pally neighbours and i know if we leave the lights where they are it will all become awkward and uncomfortable. It's just a bit annoying.

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Aloe6 · 25/11/2019 14:20

The hedge you’ve planted is too close to their driveway. Saying that for your benefit - to keep it off their boundary you will need to slice it almost in half once grown. It won’t be a healthy hedge.

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WatchingFromTheWings · 25/11/2019 14:21

@BrokenWing: is their monoblock permeable?

If not, they may have fallen foul of building regs or planning regs. The regs were brought in because storm drains are becoming overwhelmed as towns get more paved and concreted over.

I'd get the council to check it out, but I'm a bloody minded bitch.

Not to mention that from the diagram it looks like 3 of the vehicles are being driven across the pavement which isn't dropped....pretty certain that's not allowed either!

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SoupDragon · 25/11/2019 14:22

is their monoblock permeable?

It's strips of monoblock on grass.

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Irisloulou · 25/11/2019 14:24

I would change the hedging, box is not a great choice for what you want or where it is.
It takes years to establish, you have planted it for too close. It will be damaged by the cars and grow badly, plus It’s easily killed by box blight.

I would have planted larger(different) plants, with decent stakes. Then the lights are not going to be a problem.

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BooseysMom · 25/11/2019 14:25

Seriously, you like your lights? You keep them. Fuck it, buy more!

🤣

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Laughterisbest · 25/11/2019 14:25

I totally understand your wish to keep on friendly terms with them, even though from what you've said it's only thanks to you ignoring all their unneighbourly behaviour. And if you can't have a permanent structure, a wall is out anyway.

But surely at some point the hedge will grow to the height of the lights. How are they going to react then? Or are you going to keep it very low so they'll still be able to open their car door over it? Because they obviously don't respect your boundary and won't unless something prevents them from encroaching on it.

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ohdearmissus · 25/11/2019 14:26

After seeing the photo.....say sorry no...
After your other details of how they have been so far as neighbours...doubly no...
Good luck

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Tensixtysix · 25/11/2019 14:27

Take the hedge out and put a picket fence up.

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joystir59 · 25/11/2019 14:31

You have created a problem by erecting a hedge. This can easily turn into a years long miserable relationship with your neighbour. Why would you do this? What did it really matter that they stepped onto your land to get in and out of their cars? I hope your hedge and solar lights are worth the grief

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Tooner · 25/11/2019 14:33

Considering they have done arsey things since moving in there is no way I would be moving anything just to suit them. I'm all for good neighbourly relations but not when that means one side is allowed to take the piss and walk all over me.

I would also be putting a nice little picket fence up in the summer when the weather improves.

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diddl · 25/11/2019 14:34

"it will all become awkward and uncomfortable."

Who for?

This is how bullies get their way, isn't it?

So what if they would hate you if you could & did put up a wall or fence?

Sounds as if they don't think much of you anyway...

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Mummyme1987 · 25/11/2019 14:35

How about swapping the lights for statues? Not permanent structures.

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MaddieElla · 25/11/2019 14:39

Tell them to reverse on to their drive. And see if your deeds say you can install a fence.

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