To be crapping it about quitting my job?

[Namestranger]

Is it just me or does quitting your job make anyone else stomach-churningly anxious 😭 I'm worried my boss will try and talk me out of it and get nasty with me. I haven't slept properly for months thinking about it! I'm quite senior, I think they're going to be absolutely hopping. I've only quit a proper job once before. Anyone have any good tips for me??

Do you have a new job to go to?

If so, hopefully that will help you withstand all attempts to talk you round.

Do you have a new job to go to?

No, I'm having a break but I don't want to be too explicit about it because there's a chance I'll get gardening leave which would be terrific.

So long as your new job offer is definite, not conditional, there is nothing to worry about

If your old employer considers you are vital to their company, then they should have offered much better pay and conditions - without you asking.
If they turn nasty, then that's yet another reason why it was right to leave

I'm just about to retire and have often changed jobs, no emotion about it, no guilt-tripping
Onwards and upwards

oops cross-post
OK, if you don't need another job, even better

Gardening leave sounds great, so keep quiet about your plans

If your old employer considers you are vital to their company, then they should have offered much better pay and conditions

I thought that too. I'll be really cross if he suddenly offers me tonnes of money/a more interesting role - you want that on merit not because you're leaving!

The one thing I learned early on is when handing in notice, you really don't have to say any more than I wish to tender my resignation, under the terms of my contract my notice period is xx weeks therefore my final working day will be xx. Add any more to that, reasons, hint of regret, that gives them a way in to talk you round if they want to persuade you to stay.
If you have a job - or a plan - lined up and its what you want, stick to it. You really don't have to enter into any lengthy conversations with anyone, if you don't want to.

Sounds a stressful place to work and you are well out of it
Enjoy your break

It's just business, people come and go.

That's really top advice scoobyd2

I'm just worried that if I say "I don't want to discuss the reasons why" that sound so cryptic and like I've murdered someone and hidden them in the stationary cupboard.

When I've resigned, I just give notice and state my last working day

I add that I've enjoyed working there in the friendly atmosphere and have benefited from the experience - only if true !- but don't say I'm sorry to leave

I've always been polite and clear in my resignations, so noone has ever given me aggro or thought they could persuade me to cancel my plans

• that would seem rather as if they thought I was just playing games and didn't take me seriously.

I'm just worried that if I say "I don't want to discuss the reasons why

No need to state that in your resignation letter at all.

If they press you - which would be extraordinarily nosy and rude - just say that it is the right time for you to go
keep repeating if even nosier

I'm just worried that if I say "I don't want to discuss the reasons why" that sound so cryptic and like I've murdered someone and hidden them in the stationary cupboard.

I can't say that would be my first thought!

Just say something like you have a chance to relocate to (somewhere everyone knows you love), or you're looking at a totally new career direction and need some time off before you start. Smile, but be firm. Whats the worst that can happen - you bump into one of them in a few months time when you're doing a similar type of job or still living in the same place, you just say oh plans changed.

Just think of all the people who have come and gone since you’ve been there; you’ll be just like one of them.

Nope. Whenever I've quit it's because I've had something better to go to (including realising after being back work for wanker boss for a year after mat leave that I just wanted to be at home).
As others have said, keep your resignation letter factual. At your exit interview you can discuss or not, but if it would have helped you to have changes made that may also help your replacement then you probably should mention these.

In my exit interview with said wanker boss I was told the door would always be open for me. It was the best feeling in the world to smile sweetly and reply "Not while you're on the other side of it, thank you" as I left the room

Well if the body is not in the stationary cupboard which cupboard is it? Don’t leave it hanging.

No need to state that in your resignation letter at all

Wait so you don't have to do it face to face?

I've never done it face to face - always formally by letter.

No, you don't have to do it face to face. In fact most employers want it in writing even if you do let them know verbally too

So you literally hand them a letter?

Yes, have always sent a brief letter with a finish date.

I would send a formal email with a resignation letter attached, you definitely don't do it face to face. Letter should state that you are resigning and plan to work your notice with a finish date of... and that you have enjoyed tour time at the company and thank them for the opportunities that they have given you.

I just say I'm resigning and hand them my letter. Or words to that effect.

How big an organisation is it?

I think the “not face to face” advice is a bit off. I think the done thing in most places is to ask for a meeting with your boss, tell them that you are resigning and then follow up with a formal letter.

“Hi (boss). I wanted to tell you in person, and obviously I will follow up with a formal letter, but I will be handing in my resignation.”

If you want to add a reason but remain hopeful of gardening leave, you could add:

“It’s been great working here, I’m looking forward to new ventures.”