To think that it's easy to look immaculate, be super organised and have a show home if you've got lots of money?

[Prinny1]

An acquaintance of mine is always lauded by others in our social circle as being so organised, immaculately presented with immaculate kids and a show home for a house, as if she is some kind of super human goddess.

When in reality she, and others I've known that are similar to her, all have plenty of money.

It's easy to be organised when you don't have to do any cleaning as you have a cleaner. And you have a part time nanny to look after the kids.

It's easy to hold amazing dinner parties when you hire a chef to cook the food for the party.

It's easy to look immaculate when you have a large budget for hair, beauty treatments, personal trainers and clothes.

It just annoys me a bit that this woman is totally put on a pedestal as being amazing when it's all down to money really as she married someone wealthy. She only has to put something very mundane on social media such as taking the kids to the park and everyone comments saying what an inspiration she is and how lucky her kids are.

She is currently packing for a holiday that they are going on in a few weeks and keeps posting about it, to be told how amazing and organised she is. But surely it's easy to be organised and get packed early when you just buy a total new holiday wardrobe each time you go away; all you have to do is chuck the clothes in the case?!

Yes

Funny world you live in OP. Is your acquaintance one of them there Insta Mums or a blogger? If she's not actually a friend or someone you care about then why not unfollow her? Then none of it will bother you. Or you could find something else to do with your time instead of reading vapid updates on social medis. Books are good, watching TV, listening to the radio - all can get you engaged in a more positive way.

Sums up social media perfectly and many people that use it. Oh I must post my perfect life packing a case for my holiday. Cue the messages back "you are so amazeballs" (is that a word??) "you look brilliant and so super organised".

Get yourself off social media and concentrate on your own life and not someone else's "perfect" life.

You know that 5 or 10 minutes you spent looking at her perfect life? You could have used that time to sort out anything that's been chipping away at you. That pile of clutter in a room, on the dining room table? That could have been gone by now.

I don’t think it’s all about money. Two of my friends are always immaculate even when casual and their homes are beautiful and their kids look like they’re in catalogues. They’re not rich. I don’t know how they do it - I guess it’s natural in a way, plus growing up with similar parents, and finding the time. I would come home and be lazy whereas they’d go off to the gym, I can’t be bothered with make up whereas they spend lots of time and money perfecting it, they naturally have good style and spend their money on nice clothes whereas I’d spend mine on other stuff. Sometimes I look at them and think ‘I should make more effort!’ but then I think ‘nah’ and have another biscuit.

Thinking about it, another reason I don’t think it’s all down to money is because even if I was a millionaire I’d not have a CLUE what to do with the money to make myself like one of these women. I’d probably still be scruffy old me but scruffy old me laying by a pool.

So many saying you sound jealous, @Prinny1; but to me, you don't sound jealous, but are just simply stating it for what it is.

IMO, YANBU.
I've been on both sides, and of course it's definitely much easier having adequate financial means at any turn.
But actually, there are plenty of wealthy sorts who really don't give a flip and aren't all too bothered with being 'immaculate' - simply by choice, (and often a more enjoyable life) rather than it being due to lack of £££.
However, the fact that she feels the need to post about this type of mundane crap, it seems as though her life is not very fulfilling, really.

Yes, it sucks to not have much money - but also, there are rich folk who are quite miserable in other ways, even though (perhaps especially when) they make such an effort to be 'so fabulous' for show.

Just do the best that you can do for yourself. 💜

Yes, but it doesn't mean you have healthier relationships with your closest.
And unless you are struggling with money- that's what really counts.
I know several people like the women you desribe, and none happier than me.In fact unhappier.
They wear golden handcuffs due to extremely wealthy husdands.

Yes, you need money for the things you mention but you also need time. I'm a higher earner, working full time with a small child. Most of the things you describe don't apply to me because I don't have time to shop. I don't have time for grooming. I don't have time to organise a dinner party even though I could afford to hire a chef. 🤷‍♀️

I'm sure it is easier with money but I think motivation is the main factor.

I am naturally quite messy and don't really care. There is a level I'm happy with. Showhome make me feel I can't relax. Some people are hugely motivated by image and what people think of them.

We’ve got plenty of money but I’m still fat and scruffy.

Thinking about it, another reason I don’t think it’s all down to money is because even if I was a millionaire I’d not have a CLUE what to do with the money to make myself like one of these women. I’d probably still be scruffy old me but scruffy old me laying by a pool.

But you could pay someone to sort all of that out for you.

The people fawning over her sound deranged TBH.

YANBU because of course cash money makes life easier in so many ways. Hardly the newsflash of the century.

YABU because it's time to unfollow her. Get on with your life. You only live once etc. Social media is a total waste of your one precious life.

If you have enough money to throw at it, any practical problem can be made easier. Either you hire people to deal with it, or in some cases you might have more time to spend doing it yourself if you don't have to work.

In other news, bears shit in the woods.

Yeah, does she WoH? If she has time AND money she’s got it easy

Don’t think having lots of money has that much affect .
There’s a lady we know and they’re loaded but their house looks like a shithole , it’s a lovely big house but it’s so messy and there’s stuff everywhere and the walls are covered in scribbles ,stained carpet, dirty dishes in the bedrooms .
It’s just so disorganised and they don’t seem bothered at all

It's not necessarily that, though I agree it helps

I'm not rich by any means but as a pp said I love routine and I am very organised since forever

We do have a cleaner indeed, she comes every 2 weeks, but we make sure we clean the countertops, toilet, sink, bathtub etc everyday (only takes a few minutes), we decluttered properly this year and we have great storage so not a lot of things on display, etc.

I don't have a ton of clothes and definitely don't replace my wardrobe every time I go on holiday, but I know how to mix & match & create new outfits out of what I already have and I buy wisely.

When we have guests for dinner I obviously don't hire a chef but I make easy enough things that look great and a lot of small appetizers/canapes and this looks like I've put a lot of effort in when I didn't.

Organised doesn't have a lot do with money, but having money obviously always helps.

Re looking amazing: a gym membership doesn't cost a lot & you can get where you want in terms of weight without a PT

Some of the most wealthy people I know (title, big traditional estate - think inherited stately home) are super scruffy. Dogs everywhere.

they don’t seem bothered at all

That's the key, though. If you're not bothered, you're not going to spend money on cleaning or decorating. That doesn't mean it wouldn't be easier with money if you were bothered.

Conversely, if you're motivated you can of course keep your house immaculate on a very low budget - but it will involve you in more hard work if you have to do it yourself, on top of a full-time job or full time caring for small children.

Yes obviously it's easier with money but I don't think it's anything to be envious of. If your greatest achievement is being well turned out and having well turned out kids and house then personally I think that's a bit of a waste of life.

We are perceived to be pretty well off (well within Corbyn's 5% definition) and our house is clean and tidy but the decor is tired and our furniture is old. We just have other priorities for our money.

Well I’d definitely be unfollowing her on SM!

But not sure you’re right in general - I guess it’s easier, but we are fortunate to have enough money and our house is still a messy shit hole (have a cleaner but she cleans doesn’t tidy so i blitz it once a week - you’d be amazed how messy it gets in between though), I struggle massively with my weight and have never been much into makeup etc so never manage to look ‘put together’, and am hopelessly disorganised and scruffy.
I do work though so I suppose there’s a chance I might be more organised if I was just at home with kids at school - but I work because I enjoy it and realised that even when I had more time I was still shit at all that stuff!
I’ve got friends who live in very small houses without much spare money and they are meticulously organised, houses are neat as a pin and they’ve always got their shit together. So I think it’s more a personality thing.

Yes but actually no. Money certainly helps! But you have to get the kids to school every morning with uniform ironed, homework done, lunch money, PE Kit, etc etc. In my house, the cleaner would have to work full time to be successful- the mess just builds up. Having good organisational skills and wanting to have good organisational skills is not related to money at all! It’s a discipline that you either choose to take on board or not. You can now schedule your life on your phone and get reminders to do things so in theory, we should all be super organised. Some people just do not prioritise this skill and don’t care how they look, regardless of money. I know many very well groomed and organised people from all walks of life.

It helps. But you probably wouldn't swap if you were able to. The grass is always greener. Be kinder to yourself and you'll appreciate more.

Money can help for sure. But it's not necessary. We don't have a cleaner or nanny, but could afford to.

We just clean and tidy every day, do laundry twice per week and declutter regularly. The less stuff you have the less you need to tidy! We do as much as we can before work and nursery drop off each day. This morning I put away the laundry that was washed yesterday.

But the MIL has a habit of leaving toys at our house, which just means more stuff to tidy (and declutter)!

We did buy a second hand vacuum robot, which is run at least twice per day- it goes on when we go out and keeps the floor clean!

Things are not always what they seem
If they have to post their life on the sm they are seeking approval