To ask if you’d let your kids miss school in this situation?

[magicbreathing]

If you had had to move very suddenly and didn’t have enough money until the end of the month to get them to school?

(Not my situation, BTW, this isn’t a thread requesting funds.)

Your "friend" shouldn't ask her DC to lie about sickness, especially not when they'll already be feeling insecure if fleeing DV

Don't make the DC miss school when you could at least ask for transport help first

If the school gives confidential info to the abuser, then change schools

If they give it to SS - it's for good reason: safeguarding sounds necessary
Lying about absence would add to the red flags

I home ed one child and wouldn’t lose any sleep allowing the other to stay home if it were necessary. Every situation is different but I don’t get hung up on attendance. Mind you, my situation isn’t straight forward.

Could they occasionally stay with a friend near the school to minimize absences.

If the child is ill for more than a couple of days, you need a medical note, not just a parents phonecall. So either they are seriously ill and need a note from their gp, or are ill for a day or two.

To answer your question, - No - I wouldn't let my children miss school in those circumstances. My kids education is very very important to me and they are only allowed not to go if they are ill.

I am aware that some people don't give a shit about their kids education though. that's fine by me. Less competition for my kids in the employment world.

I don't think you've answered the point several posters have raised about why they couldn't go and stay with friends (or possibly several friends) if this is a relatively short lived situation. I know you said they wouldn't want to be away from their mother, but IMO the mother should be encouraging them to go on as normal. and there is plenty of ways of staying in touch!

No, id contact the local LEA and ask for a bus pass.

I have answered it, I think.

1. Not everyone has a friend they could ask.

1. The kids wouldn’t want to be away from their mum.

Do you drive?

Could you sell anything to get the petrol money together so your kids can still go to school?

Interest free credit card.
Government crisis loan if you’re eligible.
Trying to think of more ideas to get the cash.

I would phone the school admissions people. Tell them the truth. Back in my secondary school age, there was a girl who they funded her train ticket. But that was around 2003/2004 so things are likely to have changed. I also don't know the exact details, except her father was a violent alcoholic that she was happy to be free from.

It’s not me,scabby, sorry

If school have betrayed confidence previously and there is domestic violence involved then just talk to them.

They will be more careful now I’m sure.

But I would be asking for support and I wouldn’t be keeping the GCSE aged child in particular off school.

They need the routine especially if they’ve had other upheaval🏰

Don’t know where the castle came from.

Advice for your friend then.

The way you write makes it sound like it’s you though.

I find it unlikely that the DC can't cobble up a single friend (or not even necessarily a friend - just someone they get along with ok) between them. I'd take a friend of my DC's in this sort of circumstance in without asking awkward questions; as would most other parents I know.

Unless it would seriously affect their mental health, the children (especially the GCSE student's) need to be educated, should trump their desire to be with their mum.

@magicbreathing, even with family it was hard.

I'm concerned how sustainable this is for your friend. Not having the funds for one week is one thing, but moving forward that's an extra 40 miles every single day. For the rest of the academic year.

Unless your friend speaks to someone who can actually help. I don't know who or where that might be, whether it's the school, social services etc. But without information no one can accurately pinpoint help.

I have answered it, I think

1. Not everyone has a friend they could ask

2. The kids wouldn’t want to be away from their mum

So, the whole thread is pointless then because if point 2 is correct, are you saying that even if they had the money to travel they wouldn't because they don't want to leave their mother?

Poor kids

I am not quite sure how you reached that conclusion, former

Oh I thought you meant they wouldn't want to leave their mother to be at school, I guess you meant staying over with a friend...

Oh I see, yes, that is correct!

Homeschool instead until moved.

Homeschool instead until moved.

Could your friend tell the school the kids is not well, only started with illness this morning so if they could email work home for a few days to try child to read through ?

Life happens. You’ve said it’s along the lines of a DV situation and that school have disclosed information (presumably putting mum at risk).

It’s 5 school days until the end of the month.
I think in these tumultuous circumstances it is not the end of the world. If mum had fled to a refuge (for arguments sake) then the children would miss far more than 5 days. In my experience they tend to miss at least a month before new school places are found.
For the GCSE student I would ask for work (probably available online) and supervise them doing it this week so they don’t get behind.

It's really frustrating on threads like these where every single possible solution is immediately rejected.

It may be, but that frustration shouldn't lead to anger at or bullying of the OP. I have seen this happen on other threads, and there's a slight air of it in one or two posters responses here.

The chances are that if there were a solution that didn't have a reason to be rejected, the person with the problem would have found it and the post wouldn't have been made. Some people do have problems and constraints on solutions that mean there's nothing you can suggest for them. I can understand why people get angry with someone who won't accept any of their solution, but they need to understand it's not about them, their need to solve the problem isn't more important than someone elses constraints that are frustrating them.