To ask if you’d let your kids miss school in this situation?

[magicbreathing]

If you had had to move very suddenly and didn’t have enough money until the end of the month to get them to school?

(Not my situation, BTW, this isn’t a thread requesting funds.)

No, I'd find a way.

Schools have a fund-they can help. Please tell whoever is in this situation to tell the school. They could always pay the school back in the future if they wanted to.

Fleeing DV, worried school will provide their new location to the perpetrator? In which case should be finding a new school as a matter of priority. And asking for help from DV organisations.

Burying head in the sand and lying to organisations with safeguarding responsibilities (ie the school) who might develop concerns as a result is going to make things worse.

Or worried school will involve social services? In which case keeping the kids off school and lying about it definitely won't help.

It's really frustrating on threads like these where every single possible solution is immediately rejected.

This. And it's always a friend..

Is this actually happening or is it just a theoretical scenario in your head?

On the off chance it's real not letting the children access education may have negative repercussions in any custody battles with the younger child

The school may notify the council and someone might come round and check that the children are ill and at home.
It's unusual for children to all be ill at exactly the same time.
If the mum is caught pretending that her DCs are ill when they are not (which seems reasonably likely) then there may be other consequences to follow and the relationship with the school may become even worse.
The mum would be better off asking the school for bus money from a hardship fund.

I agree payday loans lead to worsening financial problems. But but if things are so tense with the school, that would be more reason to prioritise the children not missing it through moving. Is how I'd play it, which is the purpose of the thread.

*I am genuinely just asking in a musing, pondering sort of way as you do on a Sunday evening.
*
So is this based on a true circumstance? Or are you just wondering to scope out how everyone views the importance of education?

If trust has broken down with the school and that school have shared confidential information, I can only assume that social services have been involved with this family and have been reported by school. In which case there are clearly issues with this family and many red flags from your posts.

The reasons for the move are very relevant imo. If it was unavoidable and unforeseen for a serious reason then that’s different, as a planned move should absolutely take your child’s education into account. A child in year 11 is not going to be able to transfer to a different school. Disruption like this in GCSE year is significant. How much time off school are we talking here?

I think it depends on the circumstances. We were evicted from our home a while ago. By bailiffs. So we didn't have chance to grab more than the basics and leave. And even then I forgot stuff we needed.

When we contacted the council they could only put us in temporary accommodation 30 miles away and hope after a couple of days for a hostel closer to home. Luckily family came through for us in a pinch and I am forever grateful to them.

It is far from ideal to have a week off school unless ill and it sounds like the kids could probably do with the stability of school if. Itching else. A week off during gcse year might make a huge difference, especially if they are also doing extra revision sessions after school, like so many seem to do now.

I would move heaven and earth to get my kids go school. I'd ask friends and family to help out if needed because tbh I'd probably need the headspace to deal with whatever is going on without having to field questions from children as well.

I would, we did, approach the school and let them know what was happening. In part because we picked them up early that day to save extra travelling back and forth. They couldn't have been kinder. We didn't know where we would be staying at that point either.

If there really is no money to get the child(REN) to school, I don't know what else they could do but miss it. However, I would be concerned how much pressure - time and financially - a 40 mile round trip would put on someone in an already precarious situation. Once we were settled with relatives, we had an hours round trip twice a day to get the dc to school and back. I put no end of extra fuel in my car during those weeks of staying with our relative and was so grateful when we got a new home and were able to change schools. This isn't practical in gcse year though.

I knew a woman who chose to move about 20 miles away during her child's gcse year; no reason she just felt like it.
The new house wasn't on a bus route & she wouldn't drive the child to her school.
The child had to leave her nice girls only school where she was doing well & take a taxi to a new mixed school with a bad rep for gangs.

Her mother got drunk / stoned every night & did nothing to encourage her disheartened daughter to study.
The child then met a foreign boyfriend online & the mother actually took her to the airport & put her on a plane to stay with him in holidays instead of studying.

Obviously the child failed all her GCSEs.
She now has worked in a series of min wage jobs & still lives at home.

That woman used to be my friend and it was her disgraceful treatment of her daughter during her important GCSEs that made me disassociate from her.

I agree with the comments about discussing this with the school(s) asap as they are likely to be able to help with an emergency pot, especially if its a domestic violence situation that has caused the move so suddenly.

I realise it can be extremely upsetting to discuss a personal issue esp if someone's been a fully immerged supermum, but my personal experience on a partic and sensitive subject was that the school(s) were extremely sensitive, confidential and rest assured this wont the the first situation they've come across or supported.

That’s awful, homeless

Not everyone has family to ask, though.

mrs, just hide the thread if it’s bothering you, honestly. I’ve been wound up by threads before and it’s the best way.

What's going to change in December? If they are struggling to afford travel to school then moving to a nearer school should be considered.

It sounds like the child would already be on the ‘radar’ for safeguarding if not already on a child protection register.
From what you have said any decent school should be contacting home as soon as that child is absent.

My DS missed a week of school at this time of year in Y11 due to nasty virus. Every mit fir the rest of the year I got a 6:30am emails from the school telling me how incredibly important his education is. Not an issue if you don't read your emails, but I'm on mine at 6am, and put a lot of effort I to sending my DC to an out of catchment school.

Probably nothing will happen. The GCSE student may be able to catch up if they revise. They may get a 7 I stead of and 8 (usually not a big deal) or they maultet a 3 instead of a 4 (a big deal if it's English or Maths).
The only people I know who have moved in similar circumstances have had a social worker involved.

Well, if it were me I would be borrowing the money for their transport from friends or family for the coming week and prioritising it in future. I might also be looking at, e.g. selling/returning Christmas presents I'd already bought and finding as many other ways as I could to get some urgent cash. And I would definitely have asked the school.

But that's because I think there aren't many things more important than children's education. Certainly not my pride.

No, I’d find a way to get them there and swallow my pride. Education is so important. Then again, I’d never move during GCSE years as it’s too important.

My friend travelled similar distance to secondary school. A bus then a train then another bus. If both secondary they could use public transport. I think in a DV situation I would like to keep as much of normal routine as possible for the kids so school would be a big part of that.

I'd do all I could not to disrupt a GCSE year. I had some very messed up stuff going on with my first boyfriend right before my exams and I failed them all. I'm only just re-taking them now at 32. I was a very messed up teenager to be honest, messed up family, no support, brother on class A drugs, then made bad choice after bad choice and had loads of bad luck. I'd probably have failed them again if I'd re-sit them before now.

We (me and two sons) moved during term time last year. Youngest was 2 and not in school yet, no issue, eldest was in Year 2. I waited until he'd done his KS1 SATS and moved straight away afterwards (about 2 months of school year left) It was bloody difficult as I was in a very controlling relationship at the time (ex left the home but he and his family were hounding me over access and I was a paranoid wreck), but there was no way I was disrupting that for DS1, he's very academic and takes school very seriously, he'd have been devastated.

When we moved our gcse dd got transport to and from school as the lea didn't want to interrupt her schooling. Also school will need to know the new address.

A gcse week for my subject would be 2 and a half hours of class time and 40 minutes of homework to catch up. And the student will probably have ten subjects.

Unless the student is incredibly self-motivated and smart, theres very little chance of catching up.

mrs, just hide the thread if it’s bothering you, honestly. I’ve been wound up by threads before and it’s the best way.

It's not bothering me. I actually think it could have been a decent discussion, if it wasn't based on someone else's misfortunate circumstances.

They need to contact the school. My dc's school would be on me like a tonne of bricks if I kept my dc off school for more than 3 days without medical evidence.

They can be on you like w tonne of bricks, ellie, but you are the parent, you get to make the call as to whether they are well enough to attend or not.