To not want older DD to be 'taken off my hands'

[namechange496932]

Due my second DC in a couple of months. Whilst I know everyone is trying their best to be helpful I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not. Basically a lot of family and friends are offering to take my older DD off my hands when baby comes. I haven't really given an answer just thanked them. My issue is whilst on the one hand I might be very sleep deprived and grateful for any help. I also want to make sure DD does not feel pushed out. I don't often leave her with others and I don't think it suddenly changing when the baby arrives is a good idea. AIBU?

My DS was 2 when DD was born. I bit the hand off anyone offering to look after him or take him out for a bit. Or just entertain him in my house. He was so energetic, and I had a CS and I just physically couldn’t cope with him and breastfeeding a newborn all day and night. If he was home with me he was basically watching tv, so better a trip to the park to burn off some energy.

I can understand if they were offering to take your DD away for a week at a time, but I think you’ll appreciate some help when your newborn is tiny. After a few weeks I regained my new normal and didn’t need as much help

The issue for you might be sleep! If your Dd is out you will be able to nap when your baby does. I would frame it as a treat to entertain her when it's a bit boring being home with the baby sister

Maybe ask for a different type of help. Someone taking your daughter out for a treat then coming back and being on baby duty while you have some quality time with your daughter, maybe? Best of both worlds then - you get some individual time with both children. I would always ask that they spend time with the older one first to prevent jealousy.