To not want to holiday with sil?

[Cobblersandhogwash]

Dh's mum died recently.

Sil lives abroad.

Dh wants to go on holiday to theirs next Easter.

I don't want to holiday with them. They're okay for an afternoon. Just not really my cup of tea.

I've suggested to dh he visits them or we take a shorter holiday visiting them but that I don't want our main family holiday being with sil and her family.

He is obviously raw with bereavement and keen to spend more time with his sister. All good - he's welcome to do that. But why do me and the dcs have to as well?

Is SIL near enough your DH can pop over for a weekend, so he can see if he really needs two weeks.

It really depends on where the SIL lives as to whether a week or 4 days is possible. And although the DC might not want it as a holiday, remember they have just lost their grandmother, they may actually enjoy spending sometime with their aunt and cousins

You haven't given enough information really. At one end of the scale you are a very selfish awkward cow or at the other end of the scale your husband is an arsehole with an abusive family and you are totally in the right 🤔

In all honesty, I don’t really see why the OP is being selfish etc. Spending TWO SOLID WEEKS with any in-law would be my idea of hell.

Yes she should show support and go for a visit but why are people saying she’s a selfish cow if she doesn’t go for the 2 weeks? Surely 1 week is a good compromise and then the DH stay on, on his own for an additional week? Honestly can’t see why posters have such an issue with that?

No, YANBU OP (IMO)

I think a week is fine, two weeks with your in laws is a long time.

YABU - he is grieving its not like he has insisted this is now an annual thing. I feel sorry for him. He wants you to come so obviously wants his family around him or to try and build relationships between his family and his sister's family. I am sorry you are coming across as a bit cold towards his grief.

If it's longhaul, a week isn't worth the it but I would still do it and I loathe extended family duty holidays and have done them multiple times because I love DH. His mother has died and he wants to see his sister - it's hardly a random, distant relative is it? This is hardly an annual event, it's one-off. Show some compassion - it's not the time to be so selfish.

Even if you stay at SIL's house, what's to stop you taking the DC by yourself out & about every other day and leaving DH to spend some time with his sister. Do they need to go through their mother's belongings and stuff maybe?

I said a week is fine.

Why can't you stretch to two weeks? What if you were in his shoes?

YANBU. If he's hurting so much surely he would want to go and see his sister sooner than Easter?

Grief is not a reason to inflict 2 weeks on your partner to a place they don't want to go.

Very harsh responses.

OP, I think it's utterly reasonable that you go for one week and perhaps he stays on for a second to remember his mother with his sister.

Utterly reasonable.
💐