To ask if anyone has ever gotten over fear of flying

[picklejimmy]

I have an absolute crippling fear of flying. I am due to fly march next year and I am already having sleepiness nights because of it. I can't get over the thought of it crashing. The logical part of me knows the odd are tiny but I spent all of last night picturing the most awful outcomes, it panicked me so much I cried (Im aware I am coming across as ridiculous but just trying to be honest).
It's 4 months away but I don't want to spend all that time worrying.
How can I get over this fear? Has anyone on here successfuly done it?

Can you try watching that same video again? This time pause it at the point you switched off and wait until you feel calmer. Then watch it for 30 more seconds than you got to last time. Then switch off. Next day watch it again and add another 30 seconds on to the time. Keep repeating until you can watch the whole video. If 30 seconds is too much then do it 10 second chunks.

Then watch it again. And again. When you can watch it all the way through without feeling panic then try a different video. Then you might be more ready to do a fear of flying course on a plane.

Good luck. 4 months is enough time to crack this.

That's a good idea, thank you :)

Just keep rewatching again and again. It really does help!

Try this one l and there's also one for landing

I agree that mentourpilot is great.

I also agree that it’s absolutely to do with control. I think people with generalised anxiety suffer more with this - it’s just the usual anxiety finding a new focus.

I’ve got much better over the years - what really helped was having to fly a lot for work, and after a while it just felt like getting on a bus, which is basically what it is. That made me realise that any fear I felt was entirely mental i.e. I was watching all this “video footage” inside my own head that had nothing to do with reality. Something about plane disasters, even as incredibly uncommon as they are, sinks deep into our cultural psyche and plays out particularly dramatically for people who are typically anxious anyway.

I’m still a bit nervous now as I no longer regularly get in a plane but I actually love watching mentourpilot and particularly videos of turbulence. It always reassures me that the plane always makes it, and no matter how bad it gets there’s always some dude just calmly eating his lunch through the whole thing.

Short-term, it would help it the doc to give you diazepam - mine will give me 3 tablets at a time which gets me there and back - it kicks I quickly and will really help with long or short haul flights.

Just keep doing it. I tolerate it now, I don't have panic attacks any more. Arriving at the airport in plenty of time and a skinful if Chardonnay seems to help

Great, thanks

I really thought I was beyond hope but the soar method helps you link the stages of flying to a time when you produced oxytocin. I chose a memory of bfing my son and worked through the exercises using that. It really helped and I've never felt so calm on a plane.
He also addresses the mechanics of flying and how the process works from start to finish. He seemed to anticipate all of those 'what ifs' and calmly explains them. There's a lot of reinforcement and repetition which again seemed to really help.
Honestly, I'm not on their payroll!

Sorry that was to @PickettBowtruckles

I don’t like it, I did the BA course at Heathrow and it definitely helped. I’d prefer not to fly but I can. I also like the top deck of the A380 but that’s really only for long haul. Good luck OP.

Me. One flight I sat next to a pilot who often flew the same route. He talked me through all the noises and turns. Made a massive difference.

I did the Virgin Flying Without Fear course and it really helped me and I now fly without losing any sleep whereas prior to doing the course I’d stopped flying all together. They gave us a sort of meditation/mindfulness cd on the day which was a big help too as you could listen to it on any future flights if you got a bit nervous. Good luck. I hope you manage to overcome it

Being able to watch the landing and take off on the screens made the biggest difference for me - especially the landing as I could see that we were landing with plenty of space and weren't going to go off the end of the runway and crash.

I got over my fear and ended up as cabin crew for BA
My DD is also crew.
I second what a PP said about watching YouTube. Also Google what exactly happens prior to and during take off - once you are aware of what's happening you will be able to understand the strange sensations and turns that the aircraft makes. Please get some information from as many sources as possible.
Being frightened of flying is misery making when you want to travel and see the world. You can overcome this fear.

I am also scared of flying but not that something bad will happen to the plane but that I will become seriously ill and can’t get help or that I will have an uncontrollable panic attack. I have not flown for years now because I just can’t consider a long haul flight (live in oz and feel a bit trapped here because of it). I do think I would be ok on a short internal flight though.

I am interested to hear more about what the courses entailed if anyone can share. Thanks

The the PP who asked about the courses. the Virgin one I did was at Mcr Airport and there was about 100 people on it all on tables of 10 and on each table there was a member of Virgin Atlantic crew. The day was broken up into different sections like Q&A with a pilot (which was brilliant), a physiologist session about fear and more general info about planes and how they work. The day ended with an actual flight that lasted about 45mins and was really good in that the pilot talked through the whole process of the take off, landing, what the various noises were etc. Out about about 100 people on the course I think only one person didn’t actually get on the plane at the end of the day. It was really great and I think what really helped me was it really “normalised” flying hearing the pilot speak about it etc. They are not cheap by any means but I think if you look on it as an investment in your future and they work, then they are worth the cost. Hope that helps.

I was in mild turbulence this week. What helps me is actually accepting that if the plane goes down, I will just die. It sounds silly, but only having two options in my head helps me feel a bit calmer. I take diazepam on longer flights. Some great suggestions here

Another here who feels your pain. I didn't fly for the first time until just under 4 years ago, nothing bad happened on that first flight except the pilot aborted the first attempt at landing (an earlier plane didn't clear the runway quickly enough - something completely normal and unproblematic).

I can't be sure that's the reason, but after that I was terrified of flying, although strangely not of landing. Its take off that I hate, from the moment the plane lines up to take off until the seat belt signs turn off, and like you OP I hate banking (turning).

I had a very supportive GP who prescribed me medication and even allowed it on repeat prescription which is rare. It was amazing the first time I used it however it's gradually faded and now it makes absolutely no difference. Last time I flew out I took 3 tablets and was as bad as I've ever been, sweating, crying, shaking, and clinging to the hand of a stranger. On the way back I took no medication and was almost completely fine.

I no longer bother taking the meds as it seems to me that if im going to panic, I'm going to panic with or without the meds, so I may as well keep my wits completely about me.

So many people say to me 'just get over it, it'll be fine' or 'planes are the safest form of travel' or my personal favourite 'you're more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the airport' my argument is that you're far more likely to be able to survive a car crash!

I actually fly a fair bit, a return trip 5 or 6 times a year, and I always hoped I'd get better the more I flew but that never happened. However my fear has never stopped me getting on the plane - if it did I'd never see my partner!

Sorry I'm rambling now, sometimes it helps to just write it all down, but just know you're not alone. Control the things you CAN control, choose what time you want to fly, choose what airline you want to fly with, choose your seat in advance. Take back what control you can, and press forward. You can do it ❤

Thanks op. I am terrified too-for me it’s vertigo!

Hypnosis helped me to feel reasonably calm flying alone long haul, which was the last time I flew. I had one session to book the flight and another before setting off. The difference was marked, and it even stopped the feelings of dread throughout the trip, knowing I’d have to fly home.
I still choose not to fly unless I have no choice, but it is doable..

Taking on board these suggestions as I'm absolutely terrified of flying. Been offered a trip to Canada with DP and our kids, paid for by relatives, and I can't bring myself to do it, even though I know it would be an amazing experience and not something we could ever afford ourselves. It annoys me that my fear is stopping us from going. I've been on a plane 3 times in my life but since having children I've become completely terrified of the thought.

I think it's the thought that if something were to happen I would know about it before it happened. I don't like that idea, it terrifies me.

This is how I feel OP. Being alongside my kids, knowing what was about to happen. It makes me want to cry and my heart goes into overdrive thinking about being on a plane. When people say, "Oh you're more likely to be in a car crash" and I think, "Yes, but on a plane the chances of survival are basically zero so we'd be fucked!"

I've always hated flying... I think it has to do with being in my late teens before I ever flew and I'd probably watched too many disaster movies by then, seen the news and was also old enough to overthink things!

I did the BA Fear Of Flying Course twice! Once in the early 90s and again 10 years later.
They did help a bit in the short term, in that both times they got me back on a plane again not long afterwards, but neither had a lasting effect for me, I'm afraid.

It may be something to do with the fact that after the second one I flew on holiday, and was very much better flying out... only for 9/11 to happen while I was away!!! And of course then all sorts kicked off with security, not being able to have anything other than a clear plastic bag on the flight etc! Needless to say I wasn't as comfortable on the flight back even though it was completely uneventful!

There are 2 cautionary things I would say about the courses... although reading through this thread, obviously they have really helped a lot of people.

Firstly, at mine there were people on the course who had been in genuine, often newsworthy air emergencies (perhaps not as likely now the courses are more prevelant) but I it could easily give you a heightened impression that bad things can happen - when in daily life you probably will never meet someone who has been in such a situation.

Secondly, I feel claustrophobic on a plane anyway. When I did the flight on the course people were encourgaed to get up and walk around etc - often the gangway was jammed with far more people up and about than on any normal flight. Added to which were a minorty of people who were incredibly upset / suffereing panic attacks etc. This again wasn't great when tyring to combat your own phobia.

However - like I said - this was a while ago - courses may be different now.
For me - I'm intending trying hypnotherapy at some point next time.

It's take off and landing for me and the more I fly the more nervous I get. We've got 6 flights coming up in the not too distant future 😬. But my love of travelling gets me through it.

I have suffered from anxiety since I was 17. I don't so much have a fear of flying but not being able to get off if I needed to.

I have just cried reading this thread. I'm 50 and I haven't flown since I was 7 years old.

I'm desperate and would live to fly.

I was you. I did a fear of flying course (great fir The science of turbulence/noises etc) and i did hypnotherapy. I was totally skeptical about hypno but desperate. I was under almost instantly and, through that wakeful sleep state, she was able to reprogramme me.
I am still nervous. I don’t drink anymore to mask the fear and I focus on the kids which is a great distraction. Or a film (book hard to concentrate if frightened). I’d highly recommend noise reducing headphones, I have the Bose ones and they were worth every penny as they mask all the noise/engine changes which frighten me.

And I focus on the holiday rather than the flight. That really works. Every time flight dear pops in your head replace with a good thought about the holiday you’re going on. It reprogrammes your thought processes.

You can do this op. Your mind is a strong tool, just reset it.

In some cases I’d have to wonder how much of it is fear of flying vs fear of dying. Quite different things but they can present in the same irrational fears of certain activities. I think once you come to peace with the reality that you could die at any second for any one of hundreds of odd reasons, activities like flying can start to seem no worse than staying at home.