To ask for positive nursery stories please ?

[starryowl]

Ok so not really aibu but I really need some reassurance.
Will my PFB be ok in a nursery aged 10 months for 1.5 days a week?
How bad are they? How good are they ?
This one has been rated excellent
Went to see it and I nearly cried .. 2 little babies lay either side of the nursery nurse on mats ( she was trying to get them off for a nap) she was patting their head staring into space ( looking like she wanted to be elsewhere ) and they were having none of it ( in fact were still awake 45 minutes after I had finished seeing the nursery )
Is this standard ? Should I expect an overtired baby when he gets home ? Should I just try my hardest to get work to accommodate hours when family can look after him ( very limited as they work). Getting a lot of anxiety about leaving him at a nursery ! Help!

My twins went to nursery from 8 months to 3ish when they moved to a pre-school.

They loved it, we were perfectly happy with it, at age ten they now don’t actually remember anything about it!

DS goes to nursery and it's lovely. Max 6 babies per room and direct access to a baby garden. The have regular teaching themes, do songs and crafts, have a very varied seasonal menu etc
DS does half days so I see what's going on at nap time when I pick him up. Babies are just sleeping 95% of the time. Very occasionally I come to see mayhem but that's genuinely rare.

PS Yes, when they first start it tends to be pretty traumatic for the parents.

@JoJoSM2 ahh lovely yes there is a garden here too and chickens! Yes thinking one full day and Then a half 7-130. My baby never falls asleep by himself when nap is due I always rock him. I'm not sure how we will transition

A good nursery will find a way to get a tricky baby to sleep. Often babies are quite adaptable when away from their primary care givers. Our local nursery will rock them to sleep in pushchairs if needed, they don't let them cry. Presumably you asked about this when you went to look around, to check you were happy with their methods?
Is it worth looking at childminders instead? I couldn't stand the thought of nursery for my PFB DC1 so we used a very lovely childminder. I found the idea of leaving baby in a quieter home setting easier to bear! She was also some kind of witcj and he slept for two hours the first time he stayed with her alone.
Having said that DC2 will most likely go to nursery because it's more convenient location-wise and life is more complicated with two children, so I don't have an issue with nurseries. It's just personal preference/what feels right for a particular child!

I think children often get used to different things in different settings so he might learn to fall asleep. However, you could also gradually start putting him down sooner and sooner and within a few weeks he should be able to fall asleep more independently.

@JoJoSM2 I will try. He also uses white noise for naps and bed. If that goes off he wakes up. Maybe I should cut that

My eldest went from 7 months and youngest from 10 months. The eldest loved it as it had different rooms for different ages and they all had their own gardens (the older one's had chickens which they watched hatch) and literally went out whatever the weather for a bit. My youngest wasn't so keen at the time but that's just his personality, he still talks about it now (age 8) and has no bad memories (he would have told us!). For us it was important that we got to know the staff and could talk to any one of them about our child's day, they always had something individual to say about our children. One thing we had to adapt to was their routine at nursery was different to ours at home, so they ate at different times etc but as they grow they just know that different things happen at different times at home, at nursery, at nanny's house or whatever. Good luck, it is tough!

My DD has been going 3 full days a week since she was 10 months and my son since he was 1. They both love it. My DD will be 4 next month and she is so excited about having a party and her friends from nursery coming. They both have so much fun there and happily run in to the building when we take them. My DS is nearly 2 and really adores his keyworker. She has a sleeve tattoo and now whenever he gets hold of a pen he tries to give himself one 🙄😂

Just because it is rated excellent doesn’t mean its the right place, keep looking!
Mine will be going 4-5 full days from 11 months, no choice as I’m the main earner. I’m looking at both nursery settings and child minders and hopefully I find one I click with!

My DS is 2 and a bit, has been going to nursery since he was one 4 days a week. He takes himself to bed at nursery!! Wish he did that at home! He also has white noise at home and is fine without it at nursery. They do lots of exciting messy play, go to Pets Home, have interesting food. He loves it. He found it very tiring initially but settled in well.

Are you really worried about 1.5 days a week?
Anyway ours didnt accept for that short a time because its more unsettling for the child to be at home/familiar environment and then go for just a day which is strange to them.
your child will be fine.

I totally get your anxiety. We sent DD at 10.5 months, the first few weeks are rough, they cry at drop off and pick up, but now she cries because she doesn't want to leave! Her nursery are wonderful, she has absolutely flourished into a really bright little girl and I am 100% sure that a huge part of that is due to the time she spends in nursery. If you really do struggle with the idea though, perhaps look into a childminder? But I'd absolutely vouch for nursery, when you find a good one they're worth every penny.

When DS1 was at nursery he became very attached to his key worker. When he moved up a room she was promoted to deputy manager but still came down every nap time because he’d only fall asleep on her! I still have a photo of him curled up on her lap fast asleep while she attempts to do paperwork 😄

I think settling may be difficult for 1 and a half days a week. Is 3 half days a possibility?

@OneDay10 yes I do 12.5 shifts at work so can do full time hours in 3 days or 30 in 2 and a half. I do weekends too ( husband off ) I am going to ask work if I can do a Saturday or Sunday . Then a full day when he is a nursery and then another full day or half so maybe 2 full days at nursery.

@Jinxed2 possible to do 2 full days . Do you think that would be better ?

Ds started nursery at 12 months and went full time from 14 months. His development has been amazing, he has a group of friends and he's learning new things every day, and encountering social situations we wouldn't really get at home. I toured the nursery we chose and a few things stood out for me. In the baby room it was a max of six kids, and the ladies in there were totally hands on, lots of affection, lots of getting down on the floor with the kids. In the toddler room when we went in one of the staff was holding one of the kids and dancing round the room with her, they were just having loads of fun, and it felt very natural and happy. They have outdoor space and try to get outside every day, unless the weather is really horrendous. They have us provide full outdoor gear though, so they can get out in rain and snow with the kids. They also have a big indoor space, in case the weather is awful so the kids can still run round and blow off steam. They also have a soft play, sensory room, quiet spaces etc. My gut feeling was it was a good choice for us based on all that and 11 months later DS absolutely loves it there, to the point that I have trouble getting him to leave some nights. I'd say go with your gut feeling, and if it's not right, dont be afraid to keep looking.

@Jinxed2 or 3 half days be better could look into it with work.

Two full days would be better for continuity in my inexperienced opinion.

That’s doesn’t sound normal. But my DD’s nursery was amazing. For the first weeks they rocked her to sleep in her buggy as that’s was we did. Then using their magic they got her to sleep in a cot! Only worked for them though.

I gave up work when she was 2 but I continued to send her to nursery for much reduced hours because she loved it. She has just started school nursery and I sent her to holiday club for a couple of days at her old nursery because she was missing it.

@starryowl may not make much difference, what is the plan will the days be together? I work in a preschool setting where we take children from 2 and we often find those that come less regularly struggle to settle x

I’m currently looking at nurseries and childminders. My DS is 4 months but will be 9 months when I return to work in April. I only need childcare 1 day a week. I’m so anxious as I really don’t want to leave him!

It took us to go through 2 bad nurseries before we decided to go with a childminder. I felt like we should have done that from the start with DS as we put him into care at 5 months old.

However, we moved area and decided to try a nursery again and love this one. They really listened to us about his sleeping - he never came home tired (until he decided to drop naps). They were also fully equipped to deal with his dietary requirements unlike those first nurseries. They keep us updated on his progress and talk to us about any issues he may be having and how to help us tackle them at home as well as inside nursery. Also, they were on board with us potty training in our desired method at 22 months old.

Basically, there really are a wide variety of nurseries and you can always explore a few to get the right one for your child.

Or there is the option of a childminder for a more personal feel - our childminder actually was cheaper than nurseries too btw

Two full days say Monday and Thursday would be better than Monday and Tuesday for example as then it’s not nearly a week until they go back again x

I have him booked for Monday and Wednesday @Jinxed2 if I am put to work Friday he will be with his grandma. ( I work somewhere where it's 7 days a week nights and weekends too) I have to try and negotiate my shifts to be either Monday or Wednesday Friday sat or Sunday. I will do 2 or 3. I do 12.5 shifts so husband will have to collect baby. If I am not put down to work the Monday or Wednesday I will still have to send baby so he settles.