To ask for positive nursery stories please ?

[starryowl]

Ok so not really aibu but I really need some reassurance.
Will my PFB be ok in a nursery aged 10 months for 1.5 days a week?
How bad are they? How good are they ?
This one has been rated excellent
Went to see it and I nearly cried .. 2 little babies lay either side of the nursery nurse on mats ( she was trying to get them off for a nap) she was patting their head staring into space ( looking like she wanted to be elsewhere ) and they were having none of it ( in fact were still awake 45 minutes after I had finished seeing the nursery )
Is this standard ? Should I expect an overtired baby when he gets home ? Should I just try my hardest to get work to accommodate hours when family can look after him ( very limited as they work). Getting a lot of anxiety about leaving him at a nursery ! Help!

@Jinxed2 do you think Monday and Wednesday would be ok?

@starryowl yes I’m sure, and even those that do 2 days together settle down it just may take a little longer and with you being anxious about it I thought may upset you more. Monday and Wednesday would be good.

@Jinxed2 I have only left him once with his grandma ( who will be looking after him some fridays if I get out down to work) for 3 hours . I have left him once with his other grandma for 2 hours. He is nearly 9 months I know I need to leave him more .. as I will be going back to work January. Do you think I should slowly increase the time I leave him for ? I struggle because I always get him off for naps taking the lead with his tired signs and knowing it's around 3 hours from his last nap. He doesn't self soothe he will be rocked on me or pram. I just panic that it I leave him he will be upset. Grandma got him off for nap fine but other grandma struggles and tends to just say he wasn't tired and keeps him awake ( showing him things keeping him happy ) but then he is overtired.

@starryowl it’s really difficult, I have 3 children, 13, 11 and 2. I had quite bad anxiety when my big ones were little and never left them with anyone and it wasn’t good for me or them! I understand how you feel. With the little one I’ve had to let go a bit, he comes to work with me 2 days and my mum has him for 1.5 days. Sometimes she doesn’t do things as I would but it doesn’t matter, I just bite my tongue. It does get easier!

Don’t worry about sleep at nursery, we are generally quite good at working out when children are tired as we build a relationship with them and I have rocked babies to sleep in prams in a previous job, I’ve walked round holding them, just cuddled them etc

My PFB has been at nursery since 8 months old for 3 half days. When she started she also had to be rocked (and sung!) to sleep, had a white noise machine etc. After joining nursery, within two weeks she was sleeping on her own for day time naps and could be put down to sleep wide awake at night. I don't know how they taught her to do this, but I am glad they did!

She is 10mo now. On some days she is overtired at pick up, but it's often the same when she is at home - she is dropping naps. I don't particularly mind though, because on those days she goes to bed early and sleeps for eleven hours straight.

Thank you @Jinxed2 . The nursery said prams aren't allowed in the nursery as I did ask if they could rock him in that. They said not to worry that they always manage to get Babies to sleep. It's not that I doubt them I just don't know if it's normal practice. My friends little boy goes to nursery where like yourself they will happily rock in pram if struggling to go off ( this nursery is too far for us though so not an option). There is another nursery that I like the look of but they don't require you to have set days you can just tell them your shifts the month before .. I don't see how this would help Baby to settle. Whereas the nursery I currently have him booked at the one who won't use pram days has to be set days for continuity of working with key worker and activities planned so it seems good in that respect. The anxiety is terrible , when I was pregnant I told my manager I'd be back in 6 months it's gone from that to 9 to 10.5 lol. I don't think going back to do 3 12.5 shifts is a good idea seems 2 and a half more manageable . Baby loves people and seems social I should try and relax

@Jallebi wow that's amazing . Yes we currently rock baby to sleep at night . Yes I just need to try and keep calm I think

If it doesn't feel right it might not be the right fit for you, we went to visit a few nurseries and as soon as I walked through the door of her current one I knew it was right. So much so that my daughter didn't want to leave! Such a difference to when we went to see others and I left her in the room to look around , she'd come running up to me nearly crying.
She only did 1 day a week from 18 months until 3 - she settled in relatively well, we did have a few emotional drop offs and pick ups. I think because she was so overwhelmed at me leaving/coming back. However it was no different when I left her with other family members - she genuinely used to ask to go to nursery every day lol.

With regards to the nursery worker - in her defence getting children to sleep can be pretty soul destroying sometimes. She might of been 'staring into space' because looking at the children could be distracting them.
My daughter used to feed to sleep or be rocked but the first day at nursery she went down with the other kids absolutely fine and didn't need any interaction!!

Go and see the other nursery, there’s nothing to lose! They probably just mean they are more flexible for people who have different shifts each week, I’m sure she could go the same days each week

My DS has been going to nursery 4 full days a week since he was 10 months old. He loves it. Was hard at first as he cried at drop off and pick up but after a few weeks he got better and now he doesn't care, shoos me away in the morning then runs to me at pick up. All the staff are lovely and genuinely care about the kids and there's always something fun going on. He's developed loads since he started and for us nursery was the best decision. They've also just been rated OFSTED excellent for the 4th time in a row and have won numerous awards.

All four of mine went to nursery and they LOVED it. The friends that they made there have lasted them their whole lives (and we have met so many lovely parents). They eat a wide range of food (peer pressure can be a wonderful thing) and had a great start in their education because the nursery staff don't also have to do the washing, cook their food or sort out the housework so they can focus on the children. Honestly, I never worried about it at all.

My daughter has been going to nursery since 12 months (nearly 1.5 now) and seems to love it and has bonded well with the staff. She feeds to sleep generally and is in the bed with me but somehow manages to nap fine at nursery - I think they're miracle workers! Good luck - the settling in period is stressful. X

@Coconutbug I know I probably look the same sometimes trying to get little one off. It wasn't so much her face worrying me more than I looked and thought there's no way my little one would fall asleep just having his head patted whilst lying in a mat with another boy the other side. With little people running through . I don't know maybe he would but at the moment he would be far too distracted

Listen to your gut on nurseries. We visited an outstanding one when I was pregnant - I walked out and burst into tears as I hated it and couldn’t imagine my baby being looked after there. We then visited another one - Good rated - and I immediately felt at home with the facilities, ethos and staff. Nursery might be right for your little one - that nursery might not be x

DD1 is 2 now and has been in full time nursery since 4 months. DD2 is 5 months and has been full time for a month now. Unfortunately where we love you dont get much maternity leave. Both seem very settled, even the little one who after the first few days is eating and sleeping well and smiles away at the staff which I take as a sign that she is content there. Having recently gone through the leaving though, the thought is definitely worse. Once you leave him that first day you'll be over the worst of it. I'm really enjoying being back at work again even though I'm exhausted with a non sleeping baby. It makes you so appreciative of the family time. Good luck with your search and your return to work. It will be fine

My son started at 10 months. Different days each week due to shifts, usually two or three. He loved it and was so sad to leave this summer to go to big school.

He never fell asleep by himself at home (still doesn’t ) but dropped off easily there, the times he did half days I’d turn up to get him and he’d be zonked out. They were brill referring him to SALT for speech delay and the SENCO worked really well with him on stuff set by the SALT and by the time he left he was fully caught up. He had a great bond with all the key workers he had over the years and got cuddles from them all when he left. His last key worker we are still in touch with as they adore each other.

It’s hard leaving them, but good nurseries are a lovely place for young children to be.