Worried about child growing up, so trying to fit in Xmas activities

[Greenbutterlfy566]

My son is 7 and I’m acutely aware of how fast time is going.

I’m panicking about the Christmas activities and places to go to and things to see before he grows up. I want to get it ‘right’ I worry that I haven’t taken him to many places before he stops believing in Santa. I don’t want to make a mistake of missing amazing things that can only have the ‘magic’ through children’s eyes before it’s too late.

I mean things like big days out to theme parks and Christmas holidays etc.

Is anyone else like this?

No. We did that kind of stuff when the kids were younger. Their fondest memories are family time with a hot chocolate and a Christmas film, decorating the tree, leaving a mince pie out for santa etc.

Please don't worry. When it comes to the 'magic' of Christmas, if you instill a love of Christmas early your DS will always keep it.

My lot are mid/late twenties and all coupled up, but the ones without children still come home for Christmas, and love the whole 'tree, lights, pillowcases of presents' thing as much as they did when they were small! It's entirely their choice to come, but they still want to.

Only difference is that now they cook the dinner and I sit around asking if it's nearly done yet.

I'm like you too. My son's dad died 2 years ago so I think I try to make up for that by trying to make things extra special

It makes me sad how people get so stressed about making everything in their lives "perfect" nowadays instead of just living. Sure do some xmassy stuff with your kids if that's what you all want but it doesn't need to be a perfectly planned military operation! When my kids were younger we usually did a local grotto (nice garden centre) and that's about it! We do more now they are older as it's easier and they are more interested. Xmas is still fun for teens (and adults!). We do stuff in London like Kew Gardens and have a wander around Soho/Regent Street/Carnaby St in Dec to see the lights/have dinner. We've also started going to the panto with my parents. I didn't bother when they were younger as they got bored sitting still for too long. Personally I prefer xmas now they are older. It's far more fun so don't feel like it's slipping away. Sure they may not believe in Santa anymore but that's a tiny bit of xmas IMO!

My children loved the Christmas Radio Times. It was one thing that really encouraged my dyslexic daughter to read. She's a teacher now.
That's magic!

you do realise the poster was replying to posters above, not the OP?

She was replying to posters who were replying in reference to the OP so she was addressing everyone on the thread. Also no-one has mentioned that 'one christmassy day out' was commercial bollocks, or going to see christmas lights/decorations was 'too commercial'. OP specifically mentioned theme parks, holiday centres and Disney.

my 11 year old daughters favourite xmas tradiion is the fact that we get up at 5am on xmas eve to go do our food shop! she doesnt have to come with me but does. she loves it!
so sometimes its not the glitzy thing but the small things that man most to them.

Only watch box sets to avoid the ads and disable Facebook / insta etc,

Instant relief to just do and enjoy the things that you want to do!

My older children get upset by changes in family tradition more than missing out in outside activities.

My 19yo still wants an advent Calendar and stocking more than she wants gifts. She wants us to have the same routine of family over and the meal etc. I think building and layering on what you do at home and with family is the most important and what stays with them as they grow up.

Fair enough then about the social media thing OP. I don't understand where else you would have felt such pressure about magic and suchlike - surely you're not that much of a sucker for TV/Internet adverts? As everyone else has said it's traditions and the little things that we tend to remember most fondly as adults.

Greenbutterlfy566 you're giving yourself much too much of a hard time.

Christmas isn't about theme parks or expensive days out. You need to recognise these as marketing! These companies are exploiting your desire to do the best for your child to make money.

But Christmas memories aren't about big showy days out.

My favourite Christmas memories include:

Making Christmas biscuits and peppermint creams with my mum. She had special Christmas cutters for the biscuits (you can get them for a couple of quid) and using them felt really special.

Going carol singing with a choir we sang with (do you have any local community choirs? Do you like singing?)

Putting up the Christmas tree and our Christmas decorations

Going to the Panto with my gran and my aunt

Going to see the Christmas lights on the high street

Visiting friends and relatives and it being all Christmassy

We went to pissing Lapland last year to see Santa. I thought it was an absolutely magical trip of a lifetime. The dc’s were cold, tired and overwhelmed. Their favourite Christmas activity is going to The Range and walking around ‘Christmas Town’ (a couple of aisles selling flashing lights and singing reindeer).

We keep it simple, decorate the tree, light the fire, lots of time in pjs, lots of food. My son is nearly 16 and Christmas mad, he still does Santa, gets excited about his lego Advent Calendar, watches all the silly Christmas films, insists we all wear Christmas jumpers etc etc. They don’t all grow out of the magic of Christmas!

We never made a massive thing about Santa, he came and filled a small stocking with chocolates and tiny gifts. The real Christmas gifts were from me and my kids loved that and were so grateful. They never wanted to meet Santa I did ask. We do thinks like walks to see the lights, church service, cinema trip and play board games. You don’t have to go over the top.

Don't worry about it, we've never done theme parks at Christmas. We did go to see Santa but I don't think my eldest even remembers. Last year they really enjoyed walking around the estate looking at peoples Christmas lights!

As a child my family never had much money, we didn't do anything particularly special for Christmas. We had a tatty old tree and ancient decorations that my parents had since they married, my memories are still magical.

My best memories are going shopping up the local high street, boxes of biscuits and Christmas TV.

I get what you're saying. Time seems to speed up when dc are little and you realise there is a finite amount of time to childhood and the 'tradtions' are only traditions for a few years until they start their own etc.

I think this feeling may be diluted for families with multiple children as they have more collective years of childhood iykwim?

For families with 1 dc this feeling may be more concentrated. we have always tried to make Christmas as magical as we can for our dc now a young teen. We started some traditions when she was a baby / toddler and have kept to them each year - playing Christmas music, baileys for us, hot chocolate with marshmallows for dc putting up the tree and decorations over an afternoon.
Buying a new tree decoration each year - making an occasion of this - lunch in town etc so we have memories of each one we have chosen together. Baking special Christmas treats. Lunch in a nice restaurant on Christmas Eve and then a walk around the city to admire the lights finishing off with a hot chocolate before home to cook the Christmas ham. Having grandparents stay for several days so they can spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with us - dc adore this, though it can be a strain for me, I bite my lip many, many times and drink wine!

Leaving mince pie and milk and a carrot out before bed etc

We also do some bigger things - we usually go away for a couple of days just before Christmas, just the 3 of us and enjoy things like European Christmas markets or go to another city nationally and stay in a hotel with nice decorations etc. We don't do this every year and won't this year for various reasons.

Memories are funny things - the situations we set up to be 'memorable' often are not the ones we recall the most readily. The memories we cherish are often mundane but they are about a feeling we remember - cozy, safe, warm, happy, excited etc

My son is 15 and I do feel a bit sad that he is past the Santa thing now, but he is adopted and came to me at 7 so we missed out on many Christmases together.

I think panicking is a bit of an over reaction, but I do get the desire to engage in some of these activities. Big theme parks arent my thing but we did Thomasland once. We always go to the pantomime plus a local theatre production and to the cinema. Whilst he still believed we went to a local Castle for breakfast with Santa. It is beautifully done and being in a real castle so much nicer than some things we've seen advertised. He has good memories because we did the same thing every year. Now he is older we go to see the lights at Kew Gardens which are amazing. We go after new year because the hotels are super cheap and we do something else as we are down there. Last year we went to the Tower of London. This year we are going to see the King Tut exhibition. Again we have great memories because its become our tradition.
You will never be able to do everything there is to do, so why not just choose one or two things which will stand repeat visits so that they become your tradition

the best things are fairly cheap,

carrots out for reindeer,
candles out for reindeer to land,
mincepies out for santa,

looking for the eaten carrot and mincepie case in the morning
does santa leave footprints in your house? he is a mucky bugger here and does not take his boots off, white footprints all up the stairs, etc.

youve got to laugh at the kids who prefer the range to lapland, poor shiney, all that effort!

Don't overdo commercial crap, because its easily disappointing. Have your own family traditions.

mincepies out for santa
aren't you supposed to leave whiskey for him?

@Cuppachino 🖕🏻

Last year they really enjoyed walking around the estate looking at peoples Christmas lights!

Yes, this is definitely a highlight for the DC!

Relax!
Of course kids often have happy smiles in photos from fun trips. Doesn’t mean you have to do them.

Yesterday my 11yo asked if we were going to the pub on Xmas Eve, and if so - would she be old enough now to go and hang out in the park next door unsupervised with her mates whose parents would also be in the pub.

So I think that tells you what her important Xmas traditions are!

Please don’t worry OP - you sound like a lovely mum and I’m sure you’re DS will enjoy some simple festive activities with you that aren’t long days out.

Christmas is insane now. When I was little (80s/90s) it was school or church Xmas fair, Father Christmas visit at local shopping centre and maybe a school carol concert.

Now it seems everywhere offers a full on ‘magical Christmas experience’ for stupid money that inevitably ends up being one sad looking reindeer and a bored teen dressed as an elf in a car park.

One of our local family-run garden centres always does a lovely traditional Father Christmas grotto experience for kids, v reasonably priced. They aren’t doing it this year because Mums (and I’m sorry but it is mostly mums) have been harassing them and accusing them of ruining their DC’s Christmas because they weren’t able to get any of the limited number of tickets. Ive seen mums wailing on our local Facebook group saying they feel like failures as they haven’t been able to get any Father Christmas experience tickets yet .

And don’t even get me started in the unnecessary tat. My Facebook feed is full of people selling personalised helium balloons to ‘introduce’ elf on a shelf to your DC, special carved wooden trays to put your mince pie/carrot on, a magic key that Father Christmas uses to get into your house...

I do love Christmas, honest!

I much prefer raising happy kids who believe in the Christmas magic to raising bitter and arrogant individuals

What a load of bollocks, you must know some weird people if you think not buying into Christmas schmaltz makes someone bitter, arrogant and unhappy, I hope your children aren't growing up thinking the same