Worried about child growing up, so trying to fit in Xmas activities

[Greenbutterlfy566]

My son is 7 and I’m acutely aware of how fast time is going.

I’m panicking about the Christmas activities and places to go to and things to see before he grows up. I want to get it ‘right’ I worry that I haven’t taken him to many places before he stops believing in Santa. I don’t want to make a mistake of missing amazing things that can only have the ‘magic’ through children’s eyes before it’s too late.

I mean things like big days out to theme parks and Christmas holidays etc.

Is anyone else like this?

We mix it up. We've done some years with a bigger Santa's Grotto/ day out, some years it's been the modest one at the garden centre. Doing everything big, every year becomes routine and less special. We simply can't fit everything in every year even if we wanted to. Plus there's a birthday mixed in to take time.

My favourite part of Christmas as a child revolved around the tree, and although we have a fake year in year out, it's got more special as the DCs get bigger in more interested in helping.

I know I didn’t do any of that when I was a child and I still enjoyed Christmas but I feel times have changed

Yes, these places have bigger marketing budgets. Marketing departments are better at making people think they need to do these things or they’re failing (I’m talking as someone whose career is marketing by the way). We have social media now which means we are constantly seeing what other people are doing/buying/spending.
These things have changed. The things that bring children joy haven’t changed.

My kids are teens. Happiest memories: their dad lighting the Christmas pudding, Choosing the tree in the garden centre, going for our Christmas Day walk, playing board games, having family together and relaxed.

This year we are doing no presents but being together.

Clearly total mother failure here, I have never taken my DC to anything more than the grotto at the school Christmas fete, I hate the way it has become a 6 week long commercial event appearing to take ovet some people's lives completely.

To answer your question I've never given it any thought let alone worried about it

I've never taken my dd to any theme parks for Christmas. She saw Santa at Church bazaars or shopping centres, wherever we happened to be. Just look for local events (Roundtable have done santa processions, long before the Coca-Cola truck started ) rather than big commercial things. If you have a real tree, let your son go with you.to choose it or let him make some decorations for your house.

I’m exactly the same. My eldest is nine so this may be the last year he believes and I’m conscious of that so have frantically been trying to ensure we have the best one ever. I always put a lot of pressure on myself anyway, I want them to have fantastic Christmases because mine were crap as a child.

I have grown up children and what they remember most about Christmas is all the family getting together, and going around looking at the lights on people's houses. They can't remember a single gift but can remember when DD "helped" clear the Christmas table by emptying all the glasses and came back into the sitting room giggling and sitting down with a bump. They then forget that I spent the rest of the afternoon force feeding (drinking?) water

Had a longer reply written and lost it.

Simplicity is good, OP, IMO. Big ticket trips, sure, go for it if that's what you all would enjoy. But, don't do stuff for the sake of 'making memories '.

Start your own little traditions, they are the things that will be remembered.

Relax because it doesn’t work like that!
I didn’t believe in Santa ( didn’t realise I was meant to think it was real, just thought it was a lovely story and tradition) but I found it all completely magical and utterly loved Christmas.
Just the decorations and lights , the anticipation, writing a Christmas list, getting and wrapping presents for my family, helping my mum make mince pies and sausage rolls, going to n the pantomime. I get the warm fuzzies just writing this.

Your son will feel your love for him. He’ll feel your desire for him to be happy. Just having someone in the world who wants that for you and has your best interests at heart is the most amazing thing, and will give him wonderful memories.
Of course plan treats and involve him in your household Christmas planning, but it sounds like you have all bases covered already.

Have a wonderful Christmas.

You have been sucked into the Christmas consumer machine, OP.

Of course all the kids look happy in all the photos of those place; they are child models being paid to smile!

Your overthinking this. Stop stressing and just spend some quality time with your son. Make some biscuits. Get him to make some Christmas decorations, or a nativity scene. Sing carols. Play games as a family. He'll love just spending time with you.

PS: I never grew believing in Santa, I knew our presents came from my Mum and Dad. Didn't spoilt it one bit.

Sorry for typos!

I hate to be a party pooper but if your children can read, they've probably already figured out their beliefs about santa. I read it in a mag that I probably shouldn't have been reading when I was 4 (People's Friend or similar) but my Mum explained that if I didn't believe in him, he wouldn't come! So I believed and got a stocking until I was 30 .

Your kids need happy and relax parents!

Don't get me wrong, I am very big on parks and grotto and experiences for Christmas, because I love being out and about. But doing all these things is only fun if you take it as fun and are not too bothered about it:
I mean it's sick bug and the beginning of flu season, you might miss out on things, no need to make a drama out of it.

There's nothing worst that parents dragging exhausted kids around shouting "you MUST enjoy yourself because we paid a fortune to get here!"

Have big days out because it's fun, but don't force it, the kids and you need to enjoy yourself. Their favourite part of the day costing several £100 might be the hot chocolate they get.. and that's ok.

I've just asked my DD about her memories of best Christmasses and they all centre on the family being cosy at home, playing games, decorating cupcakes and making gingerbread houses, that sort of thing. Playing lego with their dad, no pressure, no school. Because the rest of the time we were always rushing about, I suppose. She remembers the year she and her brother got bikes as the best, followed by the time she got a feather boa as a present. So there you go, imagination for activities at home with you is more important than fancy 'experiences'.

I do enjoy taking DD on Christmas themed visits.
We've done it every year since she was born, so it feels wrong not to do it now.

This year we're going to a big undercover event in Manchester. Like Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, but indoors.
The rides (big indoor fairground), ice skating, a trip to the grotto and a pantomime are all included in the ticket price.
Get to stay for 4 hours, she's really excited.

We've also done themed steam train rides, Winter Wonderland, Pantomime.
There's lots of options and I like keeping the magic alive whilst I can!

Never took my kids to any of these places when they were small, they are now 13 and 15 and I’m sure their childhood wasn’t ruined. We do more now they are older but still not the big theme parks. Christmas is about being with family and enjoying time together, it doesn’t have to involve Disney land or Lapland.

Calm down, OP. The things DCs remember most are rarely the planned events.

I can't say I associate Christmas with Chessington or centreparcs or legolabd - they're summer activities surely?

Thanks everyone.

TheEnglish - I do love being out and about and experiencing different thing but I think part of my worry is to do with the fact I have a chronic illness. so I struggle on long days out and keeping up etc.

Your DC still believes the Santa lies?!

Have you not brought him up with critical thinking?

OMG.

Op, are you very young?

Why don't you do things that resonate with you? Why do you feel the need to turn Christmas into some big entertainment show? How odd!

Nice...

Greenbutterlfy566
then stick to things that work for you - honestly, your child will have a much better time if you are happy too.

My kids love Panto (god knows why ), that's part of "our" Christmas. When we go to a local one, they don't cost too much (and I do book early), and that's 0 effort from me, we go to a nice snack treat after. Lovely day for all.

I do love the idea of going to Lapland - I doubt I will ever bother, too cold, too far, too much pressure too many things that could go wrong and spoil it. I stick to local events.

Don't worry, you are doing just fine.

A christmas movie with treats on Xmas Eve is a lovely tradition... still keeps the magic alive!

Kids love the little non-expensive stuff the best. One of my favourite Christmas memories is my dad taking us to the park on Christmas eve while my mum wrapped the presents

How about the local theatre pantomime?
A Christmas market?
Baking and making craft things together?

Or simply going into town one evening, looking at the window displays and lights and having a cosy hot chocolate and cake in a café?