To allow 12 YO DS a shandy made of alcohol free beer?

[Whatisthisfuckery]

I like a beer in the evening. I’ve decided to try alcohol free beer to reduce my alcohol intake. It’s pretty grim so I’ve been mixing it with lemonade to make it into shandy.

DS wanted a shandy, as it’s alcohol free. AIBU to have let him?

It’s not an every day thing btw, and he’s only allowed a very small amount of real alcohol on special occasions eg Christmas.

Also your recommendations for good AF beer if you have them would be most welcome.

Cheers

Of course YANBU.

This has brought back a lovely childhood memory of my parents buying my early teen brother several large crates of beer in France. It was to be his personal stash. It was topped up on every trip back to France.

I think it was about 4 years before they confessed it was alcohol free. My brother was somewhat embarrassed about the “drunken behaviour” he had displayed on a few occasions.

Yes, unfortunately DS’s father who he doesn’t see has a drink problem. I do not. I have the occasional beer in the week and a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend.

What I show my son is a normal, responsible relationship with alcohol. I am not responsible for his father’s problems and if god forbid DS ever has a problem with alcohol it won’t be because I have set a bad example.

He has a small Baileys at christmas ffs, I’m not letting him guzzle gin.

I give my 10 year old alcohol with dinner sometimes, just like all my family. None have had drink problems for the last 50 years and our children get to have done along with the adults at dinner or special occasions. As I did from quite young, sips at 4 or 5, etc.

Hiding it away and then teens and adults binge drinking at weekends is why the UK has got some problems with alcohol abuse, along with those who genetically are predisposed to alcohol and other addictions.

A child learning that moderation is king is never a bad thing.

Argh.

This is such a myth!!

Ok - equally then - my teens were never offered alcohol until they were 16. They then occasionally had a small glass. They are now 20 and 17 and neither drink heavily or binge.

@Flashbackflossie

I see you are struggling.

Sorry, but that’s nonsense. There’s no correlation that drinking Shandy as a kid will turn someone into a hard drinker as an adult.

I did not say it would. In fact I was very clear that is was the 'beer at night' ha but forming behaviour which was the problem.

Everyone I knew in the 70’s had a shandy
pop with a bag of crisps outside the pub with their parents, but it didn’t turn us into hard drinkers.

Again, it's not the odd shandy outside the pub. It is the normalisation of drinking in the house in the evenings.

You would have to be stupid to think that was ok.

*habit forming

Seriously!!! This country and setting kids up to drink. What is wrong with a normal soft drink he is 12

It is the normalisation of drinking in the house in the evenings

How much alcohol is 'normal' to be drunk in the evening?

I have the occasional beer in the week and a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend.

Hmm, the OP said you liked a beer in the evening. I will apology now for assuming that wasn't 'occasional' because that's what I based my replies on.

Freedam (made by estrella). They sell it in sainsburys. The Spanish seem to be good at alcohol free beer. Also the weissbiers as others have said

I was allowed alcohol on various special occasions throughout the year from a very young age. As a child I loved shandy (and Babycham - so they still sell it?) and can think of at least a couple of times I was drunk when underage. I’m now in my forties and probably drink a couple of units a year. I don’t think it’s a given that alcohol being normalised as a child leads to bad habits.

Yes, I like a beer in the evening, but not every evening. I don’t drink in the day, apart from the odd pint if we go out for lunch. That is what I mean by in the evening. I can see how that might have been misleading.

When I was pregnant I made it my mission to taste as much 0% stuff as I could. 1 year on and I’m still breastfeeding and cosleeping so still mainly just drink 0% stuff.
FreeDam is my absolute favourite, Brewdog Nanny State (which I’m drinking now) is another nice one. Heineken 0% is worth a punt, as is Budweiser (can’t remember it’s full name). Avoid the Peroni 0% stuff, it’s vile and just tastes of sugar.

With regards to your 12 year old DS, an alcohol free shandy will do no harm. I’m of the view that if teenagers Want to drink they will. Rather they did it at home under supervision than in the park with scope for alsorts to go wrong.

Mine were having a glass of wine with a meal by 12. Not every day but maybe once a fortnight. They are adults now and still have a glass of wine with a meal. Not every day but maybe once or twice a week as I do myself.

As teenagers they were the ones picking their friends who weren't allowed alcohol at home up when they went OTT on booze and making sure they got home safely. My brother and I did the same many times in our teens.

I have some French ancestry and my family have always brought our children up this way. No alcoholics among us.

Chocolatelover Estrella, that’s my favourite, will give that one a go, thanks.

I honestly dont think there is anything terribly wrong with a 12 year old having the odd shandy.

I like a beer in the evening. I’ve decided to try alcohol free beer to reduce my alcohol intake

OR

I have the occasional beer in the week and a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend

Which is it?

To be honest, given his fathers issue with alcohol I wouldn’t be normalising frequent drinking - alcohol free or not.

I think for most kids it’s fine - the odd shandy with actual beer, or a taste of whatever someone’s having that they want to try. We were always allowed a shandy in a hot day if others were, or to try anything we wanted etc and we all have a take it or leave it attitude to alcohol 🤷🏻‍♀️ But neither of our parents were alcoholics.

So in your DS’s case, I’d say no myself

But in ge real, I really despair at all the pearl clutching - making it ‘forbidden’ just makes it more interesting/exciting/desired. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This idea that letting your children drink at 12 makes them immune to binge drinking later in life is complete rubbish and the 'french myth has been debunked anyway.

making it ‘forbidden’ just makes it more interesting/exciting/desired

Of course it doesn't!

@trewser

Of course it does

I like the Heineken one. I really enjoy lager so just bookmarking my place to try any other recommendations really

I have already clarified the evening thing. I can’t see that my having a normal responsible relationship with alcohol is going to turn my DS into a drunk. If anything it’ll show him that it’s perfectly possible to drink responsibly.

@Whatisthisfuckery

I didn’t refresh before posting so crossed with your post at 20:36 - sorry.

If you’re really not having a beer every night to wind down’ or whatever and your DS isn’t spending time with his Dad, then ‘maybe’, but personally with the way DS’s Dad is i would probably not let him nor have more than the very occasional drink in his presence until he’s older.