To not really want to work anymore?

[caranconnor]

I am 50 and although I have enjoyed working in the past, I would prefer never to work again. I feel I have done enough. It is not an option, I have to work for another 17 years. But anyone else feel like this?

Really depressing.

I disagree. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

Yeah it's depressing that the demographic hitting physical health limitations while having to continue work are finding it hard to do so. Christ, can't they be more positive?! Don't they know that 60 is the new 50?! Even if it isn't for them?! Positive thinking, people!!!

The OP has disappeared and this has become one long moan from women who don't want to work and don't enjoy work. Really depressing

I find it reassuring - it shows me that I'm not alone and that other people feel the same way I do!

I think it shows that something needs to change, and I'm glad that people are less and less likely to just sit back and suffer in silence.

@adaline it makes me feel sad, mostly. Because I recognise other people's stories and know how hard it is because I've lived it, but I don't think it's going to get any better. We are really quite fucked, I think.

I also find it reassuring that I’m not the only one struggling.

I also find it reassuring, hearing what people really think when they're not forced to brown-nose for their boss. Everyone I've worked with in my corporate jobs is always like "I love my work, bla bla corporate solutions yada yada leverage the business opportunities, somethin something big data and AI" and I never know how anyone really feels.

I just started a new job and while I actually do really like it, all of the new starters have a "side hustle" (or idea for one) and we've all admitted our end goal is to run our own small business...

I am close to 50yo and no I am NOT dreading working another 15 years.
I do a job I enjoy and I am finally feeling well enough to start working again after years struggling to get my health back.
With dcs being older teens and soon leaving home, this is my time to shine and do what I want to do, my way and just been able to enjoy it wo the restriction of also being mum, wife etc....

For all of those who are tired, I would say, look after yourself. Whatever it is that is dragging you down, your health, doing too much for everyone, hormones, whatever, there are many ways to get better (I’ve tried loads of those before finding what has worked for me) but feeling tired and having enough is certainly not just getting old and ‘can’t do anything about it’ type of situation.

HeyNotInMyName
It’s a bit arrogant to assume people aren’t addressing their struggles. But if you have a magic wand do feel free to share it. I eat very healthily and do yoga and swimming. But I’m in the depths of menopause, and thanks to a previous breast cancer I can’t take any HRT. So tiredness aches and pains and brain fog are an everyday part of my life for now, and that makes my job so much harder. So yes I will have a moan when I need one.

I find the fact that people can talk about how much they hate shit jobs quite encouraging. No one should have to spend their life doing pointless tasks to enrich someone else. And those jobs which are dirty or physically exhausting but essential should be well paid - if you are literally wiping up shit and vomit all day, but get good wages, you are less likely to be miserable than if you are getting paid sod all to phone people up and ask if they'd like to change their electricity supplier (and getting told to fuck off all day). In the former example, you know you are making someone's life better as well as earning money. In the latter, you are wasting your own time and that of other people, to enrich the already-wealthy.
The more people who are able to acknowledge what a mess we are all in, the greater the likelihood of change for the better.

Btw from my own experience of struggling, the very big issue has been, for me, to be a woman. By that I mean that I was expected to be everything to everyone , always putting myself and my wishes and needs last for the sake of the family and whatnot.
Learning to stop doing that, learning to put shelf first and just say NO has been one of the things that have made the biggest difference. I suspect this would be the case for many many people.

The other one is feeling I ought to have it sorted, to have a job at x level, that I’m just in the way down from now on etc etc. All sorts of crap from the TV and magazines that tell me that once I’ve hit the menopause, I’m nothing really. (And how awful the menopause is too).
You would never hear that about men. They hit their 50s and they are in their prime, they have experience, one that everyone is looking for etc etc...

Yeah, thanks for that. Ovarian cancer and the half torso removal it necessitated was just all in my mind and your fucking moron pep talk about it has made all the difference. You deeply fucking stupid fuckhead fuck.

Fucking bite me.

Btw this particular one had nothing to do with lifestyle or even more nebulously state of fucking positive mind or any of the other shit we get thrown at us and actually a third of people at sixty will have been through similar. You going to reiki them all out of it?

Early forties and I enjoy my job. But neither me nor DH are well paid and while we do pay into private pensions the forecast amount is pitiful.

I seriously doubt I'll still be in this job in 10 years and I know I'll have to continue working for as long as I can physically manage it. It's a depressing thought.

I find it reassuring too. And validating. As I’ve said, we are the first demographic having to do this. And it seems the majority are struggling.

And you know what? I’ve never had a hot flush, but the menopause is destroying me in every way. In 20 or so years when menopause has been considered in the workplace, this won’t be happening.
I started working in the 80,s. This was when women had to copy men to get ahead in the work place. And if I’m honest not much has changed since then. Except that the work place has become more brutal with punishing sickness policies and low wages.

It feels like something out of Dickens at the mondnt

Everyone I've worked with in my corporate jobs is always like "I love my work, bla bla corporate solutions yada yada leverage the business opportunities

Yes, exactly. The problem is, I'm too old and tired for all that now. I've seen it all before - yet you feel you have to pretend to be all fired up about the latest nonsense some whizzkid has dreamt up (that was tried back in 1995 and didn't work then, either).

@missyB1, arrogant ?!? I’m just coming out of 10 years of being unable to care for myself, 10 years where going up the stairs was like climbing a mountain and I would never have an evening meal if someone hadn’t cooked it for me. That’s 10 years with ME.
I think I have a pretty good idea of what it means to feel crap.

Do I think I know what is working ? Nope not for everyone.
What has worked for me? Nutrition as in going to see a nutritionist. Acupuncture. Yoga I’m sure is great but I didn’t have enough energy to even 15 mins of that. Meditation. Plenty of time looking at unhealthy behaviours on my side. Rethinking my relationship with H.

But I wood never think that any/old of those will be THE answer for you. You’ll have to figure it out. But the first step is to look for those answers, even if they are ‘a bit weird’. Because it’s the weird stuff that has worked for me. Not the main stream advice (probably because it’s too general and was not advocated to me)

Im 60 and feel like that OP even more annoying when OH retired early with masdjve pension and is a mean git

I had to take time off 3 years ago (partner terminally ill with dementia at 58). He’s now in a nursing home and I’m not back at work. I’m spending my savings. Looking after my beautiful grandchildren and visiting my partner whenever the urge takes me rather than after a busy day at work. I’m not looking forward to working again as I actually enjoy this pace of life after how stressful the last few years have been and continue to be. But at 55 I think my money won’t last much longer so I’ll need to think about it.

@BerwickLad, there is a difference between ‘being tired’ and having gone through a major health issue.
You know that. And you know that the ‘looking after yourself’ applies to people who are tired rather than very seriously ill.
And I would hope that you are not expecting from yourself to cope in the same way than someone who has never had an illness in their life

But my point is that a large chunk of women in this demographic will have had some kind of major health issue and that positive thinking won't stop that. It's part of getting older. So do we say "oh poor you, how sad" or do we say "well actually maybe it's not that realistic for everyone to work until 70 and be hale hearty and positive until that day"?

*smilingontheinside

Im 60 and feel like that OP even more annoying when OH retired early with masdjve pension and is a mean gitangry*

That's rubbish.

I'm mid 40's and love my work. It's not manual or really stressful and I love the people I work for. Not a high earner and not got a good pension so fingers crossed I carry on loving it.

Where did I talk about positive thinking???
There is a difference between positive thinking and being proactive in trying to find a solution to your issue, even if it’s to make it slightly better rather than solving the issue.

If I had given up saying ‘Ah well there's nothing i can do about my ME’, I would still be struggling like hell rather than looking at the future and planning what I am going to do in the next 20 years.

As far as I am concerned I’ve ‘lost’ 10 years if my life already. I want to make the next 10~20 years count.

I hear you. I am 54. Just had enough. Don't feel tired physically but tired of the daily grind, the having to put on an act and engage with people you would love never to see again. The reality is most jobs are bullshit jobs, they have no worth or meaning, and that realisation makes going to work so demotivating, it seems pointless beyond the fact you need money to live. I will have to work until I am late 60s.

My DH is the same. In the last year or so he has really struggled with motivation and the endless repetition.

We have a good work life balance, and fit in lots of experiences and holidays, but we are both unhappy with working! What can you do! Ideally I would like to move away from where I live (SW London Surrey borders) to a small detached house in a more rural setting, buy a dog, live a simple life, feed the ducks.

I did win a lottery lucky dip last night.....it could be me. 🤞

Margot, there’s a massive massive difference between mid 40’s and mid 50’s. It’s huge,

It feels like something out of Dickens at the mondnt

OMG @TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince, I literally thought the same today when I was in town and kept seeing homeless people's belongings in shop doorways.

I know. And it’s all coming from the same place😡