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AIBU?

Grrr sexist letter from well known car servicing centre

71 replies

Trygowithflow · 20/11/2019 18:28

I got super angry about this, possibly overreacting?

I'm sole driver in our house. My name is on all paperwork. Every year I take car for service and mot on my own, no dh present. Why then has my dh just received a letter reminding him of annual mot from a place he's never been in? Can little wives not be trusted to do such Mans Work? Seriously what century are we? Livid.
Would take bat home and never use again but they've given husband a discount so probably will. Any scathing comment suggestions welcomed when I do take MY car in?

OP posts:
FizzyIce · 20/11/2019 18:31

Bizarre.
Is it your husband’s actual name or does it say “Mr Trygowithflow ?

Dutch1e · 20/11/2019 18:34

You may be told here you're making a fuss about nothing but I d have a firm word when I go in. It's not ok.

Nicknacky · 20/11/2019 18:36

How would they know his name?

666onmyhead · 20/11/2019 18:39

I've just been in for new tyres today . DH was with me as he wanted to get a haircut in town. It's my car. I booked it . I gave them the keys and they still insisted on telling him all about it when we both walked back in to collect and pay for it. Even when I got my card out they continued to address him not me! It's irked me but I wasn't annoyed enough to point it out!

Branster · 20/11/2019 18:44

You should mention it next time you go in but try and put it into context as well, were those addressing DH male or female, n their 20s or 60s? Some people harbour expectations that’s the world we live in.
Personally, it wouldn’t bother me and I probably wouldn’t even notice or put 2&2 together but now that you’ve noticed, it will annoy you until you make them aware of how you feel.

ColaFreezePop · 20/11/2019 18:44

Go to a different garage.

Then write a complaint letter to the garage's head office mentioning the Equality Act and that you are the owner, registered keeper and main driver of your car with the reg no so why do they garage insist on talking to your husband?

SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 20/11/2019 18:44

Do you have same surname and the letter was addressed to Mr Trygowithflow with no first name? It can be either that they are idiots or a system mistake. I was a Mr for TV licence for 2 years before they finally managed to change it🙄 No idea why. I filled up Miss when getting it🤷

Branster · 20/11/2019 18:45

As above, also, then change garages.

BendingSpoons · 20/11/2019 18:50

I booked flights for a family holiday. I put myself as the lead passenger. I paid for the flights on my credit card. I got an email addressed to DH. Its so annoying! In that case I couldn't be 100% that DH wasn't already linked to the account somehow so didn't complain. I was 95% sure though.

SoupDragon · 20/11/2019 18:55

Any scathing comment suggestions welcomed when I do take MY car in?

How about "there's a mistake with your records - please can you change the name to Ms Trygowithflow?"

bigbluebus · 20/11/2019 18:57

I own 2 cars to DH's 1. They all go to the local garage for servicing etc. I take mine, DH takes his. ALL the bills come addressed to DH - win win in my opinion!

BJsHair · 20/11/2019 19:00

Sexism exists everywhere.

When I did matched betting I opened bookies accounts in both mine and my husbands name. Most of mine were “banned” within weeks and those that weren’t didn’t receive any special offers. Hubby’s accounts lasted forever and he was getting offers sent constantly.

Apparently bookies assume that female accounts are for MB purposes only and the male accounts are worth keeping open

eyesbiggerthanstomach · 20/11/2019 19:03

I have experienced something similar. I needed new tyres on a car that was in my name. I was at the garage alone and I think gawped at the price and was told 'get your husband to pay for it'. He assumed I have a husband (I do but that's not the point). Name wasn't a Mrs, no wedding ring. Just pregnant. Plus, I am the breadwinner and don't get a penny from my husband. I should have said something but was taken aback!

pinkandstripey · 20/11/2019 19:03

BiscuitEvery drop down box title selection I've ever used has mr at the top - they've just not changed the title for you. It's an admin error, not a feminist slur or a judgement on your household setup.

A simple please amend my title to miss/ms/Mx/whatever next time you attend should suffice.

FizzyIce · 20/11/2019 19:04

BJsHair But yours was for mb purposes so you can’t complain ?

Redcherries · 20/11/2019 19:11

I went in to go over a service on one of the work vans we own, one of the hippies who works for me was with me as he needed to take the van for the morning to take to site. Garage rep (main dealer) went through it all with him and continued after I paid and was listed as the company director. Chippie was shocked, I wasn't despite owning the bloody thing.

My car is my baby, I pay a lot of money for it and have wanted one for years, I've paid for and owned my own car for over 10 years and now have my third from our local main dealer, payments, paper work everything in my name, we have never purchased a car in my husbands name as he mainly drives company vehicles. They used to write to my husband or call him regarding anything about it until I complained.

I have used a couple of local small businesses for MOT etc over the last few years and have never had this same issue.

Redcherries · 20/11/2019 19:12

I have no idea where hippies came from! I typed chippies, as in carpenters!

Iggleonkupsy · 20/11/2019 19:15

They must have got his name from somewhere?
I own my own car. I'm single. They don't address my letters to a man.
Maybe a typo?

VenusTiger · 20/11/2019 19:26

Hmm if it says Mr then it’s just an excel hiccup, nothing personal, it’s not like they’re addressing you as Mr or DH to your face.
I kept getting letters for Mr VenusTiger for an old car but it didn’t bother me, because it was obviously a typo.
Chill out.

SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 20/11/2019 19:26

@BendingSpoons it's a business decision based on statistics and research. Men do gamble more than women.
Also. Absolute majority of offers are 1 per household. Hence the closed accounts and the system probably not sending out same offers. Your accounts got flagged.

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 20/11/2019 19:28

Is it Halford, I once had my car serviced and Motd there and it was a hideously patronising and sexist experience. Never again.

Jayaywhynot · 20/11/2019 19:32

I was told by Safestyle uk that I could not buy a front door and new windows unless my male partner was there in person to agree the purchase, i own my own house not my partner, explained that to the salesperson but I still wasnt "allowed" as I may change my mind! Didnt want credit, wanted to pay outright but nope not "allowed"

NoSauce · 20/11/2019 19:40

Livid? Over reaction or what?

DontCallMeShitley · 20/11/2019 20:13

Next time you take it in say 'I'm Mr. Trygowithflow, you sent me a letter.

ruralcat · 20/11/2019 20:55

When I collected my new car, chosen and paid for by me, it said 'congratulations Mr and Mrs'. DH only involvement in the process was looking after our toddler whilst I went on a test drive!

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