Grrr sexist letter from well known car servicing centre

[Trygowithflow]

I got super angry about this, possibly overreacting?

I'm sole driver in our house. My name is on all paperwork. Every year I take car for service and mot on my own, no dh present. Why then has my dh just received a letter reminding him of annual mot from a place he's never been in? Can little wives not be trusted to do such Mans Work? Seriously what century are we? Livid.
Would take bat home and never use again but they've given husband a discount so probably will. Any scathing comment suggestions welcomed when I do take MY car in?

And of course.. op hasn't returned!

Livid is a bit extra. Just notify them of their mistake and ask them to change it.

They must have gotten his name from somewhere surely. No need to jump off the deep end about it though.

Audi garage used to do this to me. I’d book a service in my name, letters would be addressed to Mr, but my name and when I took it to the garage they would ignore me and speak to him. He told them every time, but it made no difference.

My current car was collected by the company for servicing, emails were sent to me, I had a video of the work being done and all communication was with me. It’s not an Audi.

I get stuff addressed to Mr Human all the time. Life’s too short.

The local dealership I have bought four cars from over the years writes to and phones my DH. I never get calls or letters about the one he bought.

All their mechanics are male as is the sales team. Women exclusively answer the phones, book services and serve in their courtesy café.

I have corrected their mistake repeatedly to no avail and asked to see their equal opportunities policy with the same tumbleweed result.

I’ve had almost identical situations as above, regarding tyres on my car and double glazing for my house. Also, trades coming round to quote. As soon as we walk in to the room where DP is sat, they divert their attention to him.

I’ve started saying, calmly, “I don’t know why you’re talking to DP, it’s my house, I’m paying for this work and it’s my decision”.

It might have been a typo, might not have been. Casual sexism is everywhere and we need to call it out. Yes, that often won’t be received well, you’ll be made to feel petty etc. Still do it.
If it persists, use a different garage.

Is the car registered in his name?

We've just had a kitchen refitted. There was a problem after the fitters finished with a leak, so we called them back in and I came back from work early to let them in and explained the problem. They still phoned DH so that he could explain the same thing to them from 10 miles away, and reported back to him when it was fixed.

Then, when it came to payment, I initially did a trial transfer of £5 to check I had all the details correct and asked them to confirm receipt: they confirmed it to DH. So I then transferred the rest and sent a message asking them to confirm receipt. They did at last deign to communicate with me, but only to mansplain that the original bill had been (say) £2,347 so I now needed to transfer £2,342. That time I did send a pretty tart reply saying that guess what, I had managed to work that out all by myself with my little woman brain, I had made the transfer before my first text and I was simply asking them to confirm receipt.

Blimey, I wouldn't be livid until I clarified its it was a simple clerical error. Then I'd ask them to correct it.

As I've done when they've misspelt my first name.

it wasn't

That's bizarre.

Weirdly I got the MOT reminder for my fiancés car yesterday and it's definitely his, all registered under his name; and I've never taken it for an MOT 🤷‍♀️

I’m a company director along with my male business partner. I’m listed first on Companies House.

Every week we get unsolicited junk male but it is always addressed to him. I’ve never had even one addressed to me. Not that I want it but the casual sexism of assuming he is the senior partner (he isn’t) infuriates me. My blacklist of companies we won’t use grows weekly.

YANBU change garages

Is it just a really sexist industry then? I took my car in for it's first service in the summer and explained that there was something wrong with the sat nav, I'd rang Nissan and they said it was a software problem and to tell the staff at my nearest Nissan dealer. When I explained this, the guy said "Are you sure you can work it? Maybe you put the wrong postcode in." Dh came in a minute later to pick me up, asked if I'd told them about the sat nav and told the guy it had wanted to take us through the centre of London adding 3 hours to the eta on our 'phone sat nav. Guy says "Oh right, that sounds like a software problem, we'll have a look at it".

I think there is a lot of stereotyping that goes on in the motor trade. I went with my wife when she was looking at new cars and there were assumptions by some (the minority to be fair) of the salesmen about the type of car she wanted and that she wanted something 'easy to park' (she was actually driving my Range Rover at the time as I'd had a heavy night the night before and was being sensible). I also found many salesmen would talk to me when, asides from a second opinion and the fact it was a joint account, I had zero input into her choice.

HOWEVER, I don't think your situation is a sexist one. More that your details are on a system (which automatically generates the letters) and they didn't have a title for you and it defaulted to 'Mr' which is typically top of the list. I personally think that making a fuss would be an overreaction but maybe just ask them to change their records.

I had this issue with British Gas. Me and DH (who don't share a name) were joint account holders. Always had been. But I always paid the bills, as he was a SAHP at the time.

I would drop off the joint account every quarter and be unable to pay the bill without permission from the account holder. Every single time.

We switched to EDF after a year and have never had the same issue.

I would drop off the joint account every quarter and be unable to pay the bill without permission from the account holder

I had a similar issue when I added DH to my National Trust membership. A few years later I tried to ring up to cancel it and was told I couldn't because he was now the main name on the account although all premiums were coming from my account. I simply cancelled the DDM and let them waste their money on sending DH ( not me) the chasers

I had this recently, my partner and I got a let agreed on a house. My partner couldn’t pass the credit check on his own as he’d quit his job, so we only got the let agreed based on my earnings\credit. On the other side, a couple were renting the house out and it was the woman in the couple who was dealing with it all. Yet when the contract came through, my partner was named as lead tenant and the man of the couple was named as the lead landlord. All communication went to my partner, they didn’t even bother to copy me in. Very frustrating.

I've had this too. I go in with the car, give them my number as I am working from home and we live 5 mins walk away.

Then they phone my husband, working 35ish miles away in London!

I was told by Safestyle uk that I could not buy a front door and new windows unless my male partner was there in person to agree the purchase, i own my own house not my partner, explained that to the salesperson but I still wasnt "allowed" as I may change my mind

Not had this but read about it a lot on MN. I just wouldn't have it, they either sell to me or they don't sell at all. Their choice. And I've news for them - two people can say yes and still change their mind during the cooling off period!

I also had the "we can't speak to you because of data protection because you're not the account holder" so I just said the money was coming out of our joint account and I would cancel the direct debit if they didn't speak to me. Whereupon a solution was found to set up a password. But I had to get shirty before they suggested it.

I think it is the industry! I was looking for a new car, despite me asking questions and my DH saying 'I know nothing about cars, I drive a van, it's her car' they persisted! Funnily enough they didn't get my business.

And don't get me started on kwikfit who insisted the warning light couldn't possibly be for what I was telling them it was (having been told it by the AA and the main dealer separately).

I think the worst are the firms that ring for Mr Ariela. And won't speak to me.
I earn almost as much, pay the bills from our money and usually make all the decisions, so I do not understand why my opinion is not worthy, and tell them as much.

Apparently bookies assume that female accounts are for MB purposes only

I have 3 accounts in my name and have never been restricted, presumably because I am a real/mug client. I am interested in racing, study the form and back horses I think will win (and try to get some value too). I ignore all the bonuses and only qualify "by accident" on big races. I don't arb and I try to avoid dirty EWs, tempting as they are.

Perhaps bookies do have female names or titles as part of their algorithms to raise account scores towards a restriction threshold but if they do it will be because (due to people like you) women are more likely to be matched betters/arbers rather than genuine clients who are going to lose money to them over time.

Basically your argument hinges on the fact that the accounts with your husband's name on them should have been gubbed too.