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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so irritated by this

69 replies

itsgoodtobehome · 20/11/2019 17:21

I will start by saying that this has absolutely no impact on me, and I accept that it's really none of my business.....but it really does annoy me!!

There is a family in DS' class at school (Y3) who are always consistently late. Like every day. Quite often I will be walking home (having seen DS actually go into school when the bell has rung) and see them driving down the street to school. They only live 5 minutes away, so not a long journey. The are not a 'chaotic' family (genuine term learned from working in the NHS) - 2 parents, no SEN etc. I really like the family actually. But it really winds me up......everyone else can manage to get their kids to school on time. It must be disruptive to the teachers for kids to be consistently coming in late, and I just think that it is disrespectful when it's every day. Surely you can just adjust your routine by 10 minutes to get there on time?

OP posts:

BlueJava · 20/11/2019 19:53

Yanbu. I think it also sends a message to their DCs that school isn't that important.

RightEarlobeBreath · 20/11/2019 19:54

YABU. For all you know it’s privately arranged with school and they don’t publicise it for whatever reason.

TabbyMumz · 20/11/2019 20:01

Do all their kids attend the same school? I only as as I know a family whi have to get two kids to twi different schools for 9am, so obviously one of them has to be late.

Elieza · 20/11/2019 20:07

I agree with you OP that being late for school is disrespectful and disruptive to the rest of the class that got their finger out on time and made it to school.

There is a family in my street like that. They don’t even seem bothered that they are late, strolling down the street, pulling on their fags like life depends on it, while the kids trail along behind occasionally being shouted at.

Yeah it’s not teaching them good time keeping, or organisational skills. Neither parent works so perhaps they don’t actually possess such skills in the first place in order to be able to teach the kids that right enough.

Fair enough if there is a genuine health reason that they can’t get there in time. I wouldn’t have thought if that but it’s a valid point.

Tinkerbell19 · 20/11/2019 21:46

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. There may be an agreement in place where the children are authorised to be late. My DD has been late for school every day this week, 5-10 minutes each day. Monday and Tuesday she was late because DS had a last minute dirty nappy, and today I had terrible morning sickness. Some times it can't be helped.

Vulpine · 20/11/2019 22:02

Yanbu lateness is really annoying. Some people just cant be arsed

towers14 · 21/11/2019 06:29

The OP has stated repeatedly she knows the family and there are no SN. Some people have no regard for timekeeping and respect for others. I always passed my neighbours, on my way home, walking to school, always 10 mins late and I thought the same- just shift your routine earlier by 10 mins!

cocoabasher · 21/11/2019 06:35

The OP has stated repeatedly she knows the family and there are no SN

She hasn't said how though. I mean how do you know this information unless you are close to the family?

TabbyMumz · 21/11/2019 08:10

She knows of the family, that doesnt mean she knows them intimately. Often even within a family, not all family members know the ins and outs of what's going on. It does annoy me when people on here say they know this and that about people, when in reality they probably dont. My bill thought a family member was "fine now" as he was leaving hospital, when in reality he has a brain injury and speech issues. Even his sister doesnt know the real intricacies of what life is like now at home. So no, I dont think the op does "know" them.

christmastreewithhairyfairy · 21/11/2019 08:25

It does annoy me when people on here say they know this and that about people, when in reality they probably dont
This

Even my close friends and family don't know the full extent of my family's adhd and other issues. Of course I discuss some things but not all the details - they have their own problems to deal with.
They also don't (outwardly) judge us for being disorganised or flaky either. Some random other school parents might - but frankly, fuck 'em.

If school have a problem with their lateness, let school deal with it.

Countryescape · 21/11/2019 08:31

Sorry @Berrylove that is pathetic . You’ve not even offered any reason or excuse. Just “you’re always late”. I don’t buy it. We had a student at our school who was chronically late. Everyday without fail, at least 20 minutes late. But what do you know, when we sent her a letter telling her she’d be kicked off the course if she didn’t turn up on time, low and behold.’, she was suddenly on time!!!! So its not that you can’t be on time, you just don’t see it as a priority.

Alyic · 21/11/2019 08:40

My Mother got me to school late, every single fucking day, I was called out in assembly and there were plenty of comments, it was mortifying but out of my control.

Heartburn888 · 21/11/2019 08:41

Yeah I wouldn’t really get so worked up about it, mind your own and all that. As long as you get your child to school and they get their children to school then it really is none of your business why they are late and you have no right to get irritated over it as you don’t know what is going on behind the scenes at home.

If I was struggling with time keeping and another mum pulled me on it it would make me feel like a bad mum and I wouldn’t appreciate it. Leave it to the school to have that conversation.

feelingsicknow · 21/11/2019 08:43

I'm with you OP. Stuff like this bugs me too and yet has no bearing on my life so I don't know why I expend energy on it?! I know IABU!

But like you, it pisses me off when it appears that the rules aren't applied fairly. Same goes for the DailyFail sad face uniform muppets. I must also be too conformist, like PP said!

VisionQuest · 21/11/2019 09:06

I am often late, by 5-10 mins and I get so angry with myself.

However, since September we have only been late to school once. I'm not sure I would be 'annoyed' in your situation, in fact I'd probably feel smug that I'd managed to make it on time!

The school will more than likely say something to these parents about their lateness, which will no doubt be very embarrassing for them.

Berrylove · 21/11/2019 10:24

@Countryescape it’s not pathetic though is it, I was just stating a fact that I’m always late as some people are, I don’t need to give any excuse or reason because there isn’t one to give hun 😂

formerbabe · 21/11/2019 10:27

Yeah this sort of thing irritates me too op.

It's rude, entitled and smacks of thinking you're above the rules.

formerbabe · 21/11/2019 10:29

My DS went through his entire primary school life without ever being late once...and I can tell you my life is far from perfect, one DC with sn, car breakdowns, the usual disastrous mornings but I detest being late so built in time to deal with shit.

Whattodoabout · 21/11/2019 10:29

Not sure why you are so invested. I see a Mum who has twins in year 1 and an older boy arrive late every single day. She doesn’t look unreasonable, perhaps just a terrible timekeeper. It doesn’t bother me in any way whatsoever so I don’t really care.

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