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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas

34 replies

Paddington68 · 20/11/2019 16:24

In laws arriving in early December and staying until New Year is nothing new and I've mentioned it before here. Thanks for the tips of using a leg of lamb as a murder weapon.

This year DP's aunt is staying at a hotel nearby, she lives in another country, and knows nobody near where we live. We have not invited her to stay at hotel or indeed do anything with us. Christmas is a very busy time for us and we have plans already.

DP mother today mentions - IN PASSING - that aunt is arriving at hotel on 23rd and staying until 27th. And the hotel is fully booked for Christmas lunch. She will have no transport.

AIBU to think it would have been nice to be asked about what is clearly going to be another person at our table for Christmas?
In our small two bedroomed flat etc.

OP posts:
BigTWDFan · 20/11/2019 16:28

Agree 100% with you.

NetballHoop · 20/11/2019 16:29

YANBU to expect to be asked. However it's important to me to keep close contact with family so I'd want her to be there with us.

Halestorm · 20/11/2019 16:30

Swap with the aunt.
You go to her hotel and she goes to yours. Tell them to clean up after themselves and you raid the mini bar while lazing on the bed watching the Christmas specials you want to watch. In peace.

araiwa · 20/11/2019 16:31

Itd be nice to be asked but id probably just get on with it

mbosnz · 20/11/2019 16:33

Better order another leg of lamb. . .

Alsohuman · 20/11/2019 16:35

Is one person really going to make such a difference? Yes, they should have asked but Christmas spirit and all that.

user1471449295 · 20/11/2019 16:36

Make sure that leg of lamb is frozen

onthecoins · 20/11/2019 16:38

Has she actually asked to come?

Why has she come without being invited? Do you think MIL invited her to lunch already?

user1471449295 · 20/11/2019 16:39

@Alsohuman I think the OP’s point is that the aunt booked in to the hotel and doesn’t know ANYONE in the vicinity, hence it being a cheeky and underhand way of inviting herself to OP’s for Xmas. Probably planned with OP DMIL.

Original poster
Paddington68 · 20/11/2019 16:40

onthecoins She has NOT been asked.
MIL swears she has not asked her.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 20/11/2019 16:41

I understand that (why is one’s intelligence constantly under estimated on MN?). It’s probably Mil’s invitation. One more is hardly an imposition though.

Original poster
Paddington68 · 20/11/2019 16:50

Alsohuman I don''t think anyone was trying to under estimate your intelligence.

OP posts:
onthecoins · 20/11/2019 17:43

So why on earth did she book into the hotel?

Often on MN I can't believe these people exist.

Well OP, I think in your situation I'd probably tell aunt that she can join you for lunch, but will need to arrange her own transport.

forkfun · 20/11/2019 17:47

One more doesn't really make a difference. Invite her, give her the number of a local taxi company and keep the wine flowing on the day. It'll all be fine.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 20/11/2019 17:51

what a CF.

Still you are a bit cornered.
I think you might have to suck up Christmas lunch but I am seething for you.
You def should not get involved with hassle of transport-assuming she can hail/book taxi? DH Aunt always did this sort of thing but she lived about an hour away and would need collecting and dropping off for Christmas lunch. So she can come but absolutely must manage her own way there and back.
Does she slot in easily for other things? Otherwise your DH needs to step up and clarity the arrangements.

I find a slippery gravy boat also a useful murder weapon...

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 20/11/2019 17:52

*clarify the arrangements.
otherwise she will just be turning up

MrsJoshNavidi · 20/11/2019 17:56

Did you really not think to invite DH's aunt, knowing she'd be in her own in a hotel close to your home?
Sounds a bit mean.

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 20/11/2019 18:12

I’d crack daft and just say “oh right” and not engage further on the subject.

It’s a very underhand way of inviting herself and I’d hate having an extra person forced on me, family or not.

Ponoka7 · 20/11/2019 18:17

Would you have quite happily left her on her own on Christmas day?

I agree that Mils probably invited her and didn't want to say.

Ginger1982 · 20/11/2019 18:27

Where is she expected to go on Christmas Day if not to yours?

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 20/11/2019 18:30

I'd make sure the leg is still attached to the bloody sheep and use the whole lot....frozen!

vincettenoir · 20/11/2019 19:10

This aunt has more front than Selfridges!

HolyMilkBoobiesBatman · 20/11/2019 19:12

I think my answer would be “Ahh you’ll have to save drinking until you’ve dropped her back then. Oh did I mention we’re going on a Caribbean cruise over Christmas this year? Hope you have a good one etc etc”

tillytrotter1 · 20/11/2019 19:22

Buy a frozen Christmas dinner from, say, Iceland. Get your OH to ping it and take it over to the hotel for her, she's his relative by blood, It achieves two goals, you don't have to find another 'emergency chair' for her and you get him out from under your feet whilst you cook, your MIL could accompany him too.
It's a personal thing, I want no-one 'helping' whilst I do Christmas dinner!

Sweetpea55 · 20/11/2019 19:38

Your mil says that the aunt has no transport.. I'd be asking why she should need transport in the first place as you haven't invited her to yours.
Is she terribly elderly? I'd be letting her organise her own transport