I have been having a new relationship for about two and a half months. There have been issues and I have been unsure as to whether to put both feet into the relationship (reservations that I have expressed honestly.) I have almost walked away a couple of times but new man says he loves me and I enjoy being with him so I have continued.
Last Friday I ended things rather hastily. He appeared to accept this although asked could we at least keep in touch and we continued to communicate over the weekend. We both expressed real sadness at the relationship coming to an end and he said he had gone to his sisters for the weekend as he felt he couldn't bear being alone in his flat where his pillows still smelt of me.
On Sunday I suggested we meet up to have a face to face conversation on the Monday (as all this had happened over messenger.) I was very careful to say that I only wanted to do this if he did too, and that if he wanted space and distance then to say and I would completely respect that and leave him be. He said of course he wanted to talk.
On the Monday morning he messaged to say he'd had a bad nights sleep and was tired. I asked if he was still up for our talk tonight? He said, 'Yes, see you after 5?' Then, 'You'll have to be patient. I'm pretty tired. What is it you want to talk about?' I replied that I was missing him, wanted to see him, and that I hoped he would say this isn't what he wanted. But that we could leave it if he preferred? He said it was up to me if I wanted to wait until he was more alert but that of course he wanted to see me, as he always does. Bearing in mind we wouldn't have another opportunity to see eachother in at least a week and this felt like an important conversation to have, I went.
He lives an hour and a halfs drive away. I got there and he was clearly exhausted and didn't want me there at all. He was hostile and seemed angry. I asked him perfectly calmly why he had said he wanted to see me if he didn't, and why he didn't just rearrange? He said he'd told me he was tired. I said I felt uncomfortable and like I should probably leave. There were long silences while he crashed about making food. It was really tense. At one point he said, "Just go." So I said ok, and left.
It was an hour and a halfs drive back in the freezing fog and I was very upset. We haven't spoken a word since and I have no intention of contacting him.
But I want to know - was I in the wrong here? He seems to feel that I should have picked up on his hints. But he said he wanted me to go and there's no tone or body language to go on over messenger. I'm not a mind reader. I feel he should have communicated more effectively. Also, it was a bad nights sleep and he was tired. Well, we're all tired sometimes. It wouldn't stop me having an important conversation with someone I supposedly loved after they had driven all that way.
I feel I have been treated very badly. Have I? Or AIBU?