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AIBU?

Who should pay?

64 replies

PookieDo · 19/11/2019 18:00

Group of teenagers (under 18) decide to go to a gig. Gig is age appropriate

Teens A B C and D have part time jobs and transfer money to A for their tickets, then A pays. their own money, not from parents.

Teen E wants to join in, but doesn’t have the money upfront. A pays for it and E says they have a new job and will pay A back when gets paid. E has not paid A back yet

Teens then collectively decide to go to another upcoming event and teen C’s mum agrees to collect the money from them all and book it. Teen E’s parent decides they would like to pay for E for a Christmas present then becomes aware that E has not paid for the other ticket yet, and discloses that E does not have a job yet so can’t pay for event 1.

C’s mum is in a dilemma over whether to accept the money for E for event 2 knowing event 1 has not been paid for by E back to A.

A’s mum feels awkward knowing E has not paid their child back and that C is in a dilemma.

E’s mum is not offering to pay for both events.

What should A, C and E parents do? Or should the teens just sort this out between them?

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category12 · 19/11/2019 18:04

Eric's mum should pay for the ticket Adam has bought for them and discuss with Eric how he's going to pay for things in future.

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Smelborp · 19/11/2019 18:04

That’s a bit confusing but I would be excluding them from events until they - or their parents - pay back the money they owe.

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LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 19/11/2019 18:05

E's parents should pay A back. If they then choose to pay for the second event that's up to them, but the debt to A should be settled first. Maybe C's parents could prompt this?

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PookieDo · 19/11/2019 18:06

I know it’s confusing sorry I tried really hard to make it plain 😂

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GruciusMalfoy · 19/11/2019 18:07

E's parents should pay A back, and give E a stern talking to about why he now can't go to C's event too. C's parent is now in a very awkward position.

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CSIblonde · 19/11/2019 18:08

A's DM should contact E's DM by tactful text & suggest first gig is paid back in installments by teen E (they have an allowance/pocket money surely)? C's Mum should stay out of first gig debacle & accept teen E's DM paying.

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GreenTulips · 19/11/2019 18:08

I agree
C shouldn’t accept payment until A has been reimbursed - that’s not fair

If E wants to go to the next event it’s money up front

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HugoSpritz · 19/11/2019 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeganCow · 19/11/2019 18:12

If I was C parent I would be telling E parent straight that the money they are offering for the new ticket needs to go to the poor kid who stumped up for the first event. If I was E mum I would be bloody ashamed but they seem as hardfaced as their kid.

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CalmFizz · 19/11/2019 18:12

How much are the events? Does E have the funds to actually attend either event beyond the ticket price?

Are they a very close group of friends or more scattered?

Is E and their family less financially able than the rest of the group or is it a a lifestyle choice not to facilitate their child’s friendship?

Sorry for all the questions, but it would altar how I’d approach things.

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SyntheticPumpkin · 19/11/2019 18:13

Are both events similar cost?

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feelingsinister · 19/11/2019 18:14

If C's mum didn't know about the owed money then I don't think it's fair to expect her to be out of pocket. If she knew and decided to take the risk anyway then that's a bit silly.

Is either event sold out with a chance to sell on a ticket or find another friend?

I think what I'd do along with C's mum is give E and her family the choice.

Go to both and pay up.
Go to one and either they or one of the others finds another person/sells the ticket to recoup the cost.
E is taking the piss and E's family need to settle the debts and ensure it doesn't happen again.

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PookieDo · 19/11/2019 18:17

C’s DM has not paid for anything yet, she is just collecting money first. C’s DM is aware that event 1 had not been paid for and raised it to A’s DM out of concern.

A’s DM warned A not to do it in the first place. A is upset that E lied about having a job when they don’t, but says they will wait for the money so E doesn’t miss out.

Ticket 1 is £80 and ticket 2 is £45

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PookieDo · 19/11/2019 18:18

E’s DM probably likely can’t afford both tickets

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Starlight456 · 19/11/2019 18:24

I am afraid I wouldn’t accept the payment if I was C.

Parent A us already out of pocket . Has event A happened . Do they have someone else who could go that can pay ?

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LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 19/11/2019 18:26

Right, so I still think E's Mum should pay A what she can, ideally the full £80, and extract the £35 difference from E (birthday/Christmas/pocket money as appropriate).

E simply can't afford to go to the second event, and C shouldn't take money or buy E a ticket for it.

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LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 19/11/2019 18:27

Or if E's Mum can't afford the full £80 to A up front, she should pay A the £45 and, again, extract £35 from E over the next however long it takes until A is paid back.

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IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/11/2019 18:28

I would be mortified someone else was out of pocket for my child so would pay back the person owed and they would learn a lesson in that it meant less Christmas presents and certainly no second event.

I wouldn’t purchase any further tickets for E or mum unless the debt wasn’t paid irrespective of it being owed to someone else.

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/11/2019 18:30

Has the first event happened?

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PookieDo · 19/11/2019 18:32

No events have happened yet no

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BMW6 · 19/11/2019 18:36

Mum of E should give £45 to A. Then the rest as soon as she can and no presents for E until the debt fully paid up.

Oh and of course NO to the second trip.

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Drum2018 · 19/11/2019 18:36

Can the group find another friend who would buy the ticket meant for E to the first gig - and just tell E he's no longer welcome to go? C's DM is clever collecting the money upfront for gig 2. Nobody should expect someone else to buy a ticket without payment. E is a CF and doesn't deserve to get a ticket for gig 2 until gig 1 is paid for.

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Iloveacurry · 19/11/2019 18:43

E’s mum should pay A back for the 1st event. If she doesn’t, C’s mum shouldn’t book a ticket for the 2nd event for E, and A needs to sell it to another friend perhaps.

E is a CF, and sounds like he’s old to know better.

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cstaff · 19/11/2019 18:49

That is so wrong OP. What teenager has spare cash. A should definitely be paid back first and let E dm decide if her kid can go to the second gig. It was very sly to say he had a job when he didn't.

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Alarae · 19/11/2019 18:58

I would leave the second event but get E's ticket for event 1 resold to someone else who will pay.

E shouldn't expect to participate if they don't stump up.

Unfortunately you can't get the money paid by E's mum from C unless the mum says so. Morally you should, but realistically it's not your call to make.

If anything, C's mum could refuse to book for E (even with money upfront) due to the outstanding debt but it doesn't stop E's mum from buying the ticket herself. Might be an eye-opener for her though about how her child is taking advantage of their friend and make her think twice about funding the second event in the first place.

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