To hate homemade gifts

[Bearbehind]

New thread with the vote enabled this time!

Unless the giver is actually good enough at making what ever it is to sell then I wish they just wouldn’t give homemade stuff, especially food

Fortunately I don’t generally receive them but I have a friend who’s a teacher who’s inundated with them at Christmas

It just seems such a waste as it pretty much all gets binned

Katseyes7 your bedspread is gorgeous.Do you take orders?

I would love a homemade gift, care and thought applied to it, rather than a commercially brought product.

I think it depends on the gifts and the skill of the maker. My friend who is a fantastic cook and baker gave me some gorgeous homemade jams and cakes. My sister made me some lovely decorations in my favourite colours. I would be more than happy to get more thoughtful handmade gifts like this.
My mother in law on the other hand, gave me some not so nice knitted socks, shawls and placemats!!! made from scratchy wool. I’m allergic to wool.

I don't see any difference between home-made and bought in terms of suitability. Each is as likely to hit the spot as not. What is evident is that more care goes into the home-made stuff, even just on the time commitment front. Its being Christmas, I would not expect anything personal at all, that's for birthdays.

I'm astonished at some attitudes here. It's a gift and it's the thought that counts.

Looking at your definitions, @heartsonacake, I still don’t see any explanation of how it is lazy to expend time and effort to make something, but not lazy to pick something off a shelf and pay.

I think what you are describing as laziness is actually thoughtlessness - and a bought gift can be just as thoughtless as a home made one, in my opinion.

The best "homemade" gift is a picture frame with a photo inside! Everyone has space to put up a picture and you just need to pick out a meaningful photo based on the recipient (family picture, new baby, night out, holiday with friends whatever), print in on halfway decent photo paper and frame it.

Looking at your definitions, @heartsonacake, I still don’t see any explanation of how it is lazy to expend time and effort to make something, but not lazy to pick something off a shelf and pay.

There are hundreds of shops in which to purchase a gift, allowing you a chance to spend time browsing them or the internet to find something personal to the receiver, something they’ll actually want.

The time and ‘effort’ on handmade gifts is done because the giver likes to make them, and has put no thought or time (hence lazy) into a gift the person might actually want.

happyandsingle l don't, unfortunately. They take so long to make, that one was for a king size bed and it took me over a year. l have arthritis so l really couldn't commit to a commission. There are similar ones on Etsy, though, if you really want one, but they're not cheap. The ones like mine are usually around the £200 mark. Thank you for asking, though. x

The time and ‘effort’ on handmade gifts is done because the giver likes to make them, and has put no thought or time (hence lazy) into a gift the person might actually want

A home-made gift is no more or less likely to be what the recipient wants than a bought one.

Just stop with the presents! Shop bought or handmade. Very few are valued or appreciated.

Apparently Christmas presents were not a tradition in this country for ordinary people until Prince Albert started giving Queen Victoria presents. Until then the only gifts routinely given were from employers to servants. It’s spiralled from a nice gesture from a wealthy man to his equally wealthy wife to an out of control frenzy of tat swapping that creates ill will and clutters up houses.

The words I most hate at this time of year are ‘it’ll do for xxx’., it completely sums up the the joyless routine that present giving has become.

I have lots of friends and family, even a husband, who I love very much. I don’t buy them Christmas presents. On the whole they don’t buy me presents and the world doesn’t end. If in the course of the year I see something I think someone will love I might buy and give it to them straightaway or on their birthday but I’ve opted out of Christmas presents (apart from little kids, my own DC and my widowed mum and MIL). We still have a happy Christmas with games and food and tv and wine. Presents don’t make a happy day.

Just say no people.

That crocheted blanket is stunning. I Crochet blankets,so appreciate the work involved . Would love to see a picture of the darth vader blanket

The best "homemade" gift is a picture frame with a photo inside!

'Oh hi friend, I know you are run ragged with the new baby and never have any time or money for yourself but you made the effort to spend some of your money on me so here you go, I've got you a photo of your baby'.

I'd much rather give friend a tenner and say 'Make sure you spend it on yourself and yourself only. Do not buy anything baby-related'.

@IncrediblySadToo I echo your sentiments. Whatever happened to It’s the thought that counts. I actually think some people shouldn’t bother with gifting at all - or just do a straightforward tit-for-tat cash exchange. @Wigglewagglee your cross-stitched card sounds lovely. Some of my most cherished possessions are handmade gifts - a patchwork cushion made by my best friend for my 21st birthday, a teapot stand painted by my niece, various items created by my potter friend, a screenprint, paintings and sketches.

A home-made gift is no more or less likely to be what the recipient wants than a bought one.

Yes it is much less likely, because givers who ‘make’ things usually only make one or two things, which seriously narrows down the chance to give something tailored to the receiver.

As I said, there are hundreds of shops out there, and they sell more than two things. Hence you can really tailor your present buying, rather than “I make soap, Bob likes red and Jerry likes green so Bob gets red soap and Jerry gets green packaging”.

Sure, Bob might like red and Jerry might like green, but chances are they’d rather a present you spent time and thought choosing that’s suited to them rather than just bang a minor detail of something they might like into whatever you’re making.

I’m rubbish at thinking of presents. That pressure is terrible and wrecks Christmas for me. I can’t do it. I don’t know what people want- or the things they want I can’t provide. I strongly think presents for adults should be token gifts only- if you give or receive them at all. We only do token gifts in my family. I’m completely happy to receive a set of cheap bubble bath from my family. It doesn’t matter to me. It’s just something to unwrap on the day. I’ve no idea what to get for my elderly parents, or my DH, or my adult siblings at all.

Homemade food gifts- nice

Anything else- no thanks

And YES OMGshefoundmeout if you were my friend, my gift to you would be freedom from the expectation of gift giving! It really is pointless, stressful and occasionally upsetting.

I still think you mean thoughtless, not lazy, @heartsonacake. And it is just as possible to be thoughtless (or lazy, in your terms) when choosing a bought gift.

I give some handmade gifts and some bought ones, and I always put a lot of time and thought into making sure that the handmade gifts are things that the recipient will enjoy and use - I am not going to go to all the effort, time and cost of making a hand made gift if I’m not sure it is going to be welcomed.

I recently received a hand made gift from a friend. She has just learned needle felting, and made me models of my two dogs (from photos) and they are utterly amazing! They are such good images of the dogs, and are unique - she has included individual features of the dogs such as one dog’s missing eye and the scar underneath the socket - so I know no-one else will have exactly the same things.

She has spent ages making these models, and it would be utterly unacceptable to say they are a lazy, thoughtless gift.

I really look forward to my cousin's marmalade at Christmas. It's the best marmalade I've ever tasted and it makes me happy to see her writing on the label because I love her and it reminds me of her.

You can't help your own feelings, OP, and I wouldn't want to help mine.

OMGshefoundmeout One of my friends used to do this years ago. He'd buy things in the sales (fair enough!) but with no thought about who it would be for, or whether it would be appropriate for the recipient.
For the past few years now, my closest friends and l have only done token presents (chocolate, socks, little treats for our pets) for Christmas, and have donated what we'd have spent on a present to a good cause (usually local) of the giver's choice.
We do birthday presents as they seem more personal, and don't involve spending a fortune all at once. To be honest we're all getting on (40s and older) and we don't need any more 'stuff'. l can't be doing with more things l don't need or want, l'm trying to get rid of it!

@katseyes7 I have to do double for my family and managed to do a vegan one last year. I was very pleased with myself

And this thread demonstrates why only a small select few get hand sewn or knitted gifts from me. They take a lot of time and thought and planning, and why would I want them to go to someone on whom they were wasted? I want them to be worn until they fall apart because they are loved by the recipient. I will occasionally make a small Christmas tree decoration to tuck in with a bottle of (bought) alcohol to give to hosts of parties at christmas. Fortunately I know those I give gifts to well enough to know who will love something handmade and who won’t.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I know what I mean, and I mean both.

And anyone who gives me a homemade gift will also think they are well received because I, like most everyone else, am polite enough to make all the right noises.

My gifts are personalized to the receiver from the cover design to the charms. They're only cheap because I buy small amounts of fabric, my charms come from aliexpress and the inserts are from Tiger 3 for £1.

I make lots of homemade gifts but they're always something the receiver would enjoy and use. Nothing makes me happier honestly then having some really like the gift I've made for them and I will spend a long time tracking down individual elements that are perfect for them.

Well said! @OMGshefoundmeout