To hate homemade gifts

[Bearbehind]

New thread with the vote enabled this time!

Unless the giver is actually good enough at making what ever it is to sell then I wish they just wouldn’t give homemade stuff, especially food

Fortunately I don’t generally receive them but I have a friend who’s a teacher who’s inundated with them at Christmas

It just seems such a waste as it pretty much all gets binned

I don't care what the person has made / whether it's high quality - the fact they have cared enough to spend time making it for me matters.

My nicest wedding present by far was a very fine cross stitch (single strand on linen) of the Church I got married at. It must have taken months and is unique as the person designed it themselves too.

My autistic daughter made a little pouch with a long letter in for her teacher. She cut and sewed it from her favourite (clean!) sock and put a button on to make a pouch and she labouriously wrote (dyslexia, dyspraxia) a long letter about why coming to that teachers lesson means she is able to bear to attend school at all. She came out in tears today, the teacher had said never a word to her after she was given it by her yesterday. I dont care how 'badly made / clutter' it was, that's really sad. I am managing her expectations about tomorrows lesson where 'lovely teacher might say thank you to me' - I hope so.

I guess it depends on what they are. I haven’t seen many of the craft variety but I did get some lovely homemade preserves over the years from very skilled neighbours, they were beautifully packaged as good if not better than what you find in the very expensive farm shop near where I live (where everything is eye watering expensive, pretentious and mostly imported). An amazing chilli sauce made with home made chilliest, a fantastic lemonade concentrate made using a family own very old secret (!) recipe, a couple of exotic chutneys. Sadly I’m not patient or talented enough to make stuff like this but I customise hampers with good quality items for people I care about and enjoy doing it.
And there’s nothing like a handmade gift from a close child (my own or nephews and nieces).
I detest chocolate (the thought of it makes me feel sick and there’s only one brand of Belgian chocolate I actually like) and don’t like alcohol. Without realising, I end up doing a lot of favours for various people throughout the year and to my constant surprise I end up receiving lots of gifts of this nature from people at Christmas time. I always accept graciously and am genuinely touched that they thought of me but it all gets passed onto DH straightaway. I also get expensive skincare, perfume, makeup but because I am very picky about what I use, my mum has first choice before I give to DD to sell on eBay if she wants. It is very touching but what a waste of money.
So, from personal experience, if it’s a professionally executed food item, I’m all for home made gifts.
Glad I’m not a teacher, reading some of these posts.

@whereverIMayRoam I’m sorry but SOOO many HM gift ideas trotted out are absolute shite no matter how lovely the ribbon you finish them with! Hilarious and so true.

If my friends and family are strapped for cash I'd much rather they didn't do gifts at all. Why not come for dinner and spend time together? I'd rather have a nice evening with people I love over good food and wine than receive a rubbish homemade gift because the sender is strapped for cash. It doesn't scream festive joy, does it? I'm skint this year but have to do something so here is a shit little token to show you how skint I am how much you mean to me.

@Little sweet

Your dm sounds horrible if she was rather you were hungry- how selfish of her

@WhereverIMayRoam, I think you've made some excellent points there though .

BitOfFun Your quilting is incredible! They're proper heirloom pieces. My cousin lost her husband a couple of years ago, she's been doing a quilting course and she's making a quilt incorporating material from some of his shirts. l love that you can make them so personal to the recipient.

@Wigglewagglee
I’d be thrilled if someone made me a personalized cross stitch card

I make my own jam, marmalade and jelly, and have also made cassis and flavoured gins in the past - usually from ingredients that I have also grown. I sometimes think about gifting the nicest ones, as they certainly taste as good as the ones in the WI stall in the local market. Now I won't bother - more for me and guests when they come to stay...

Nothing beats a 'homemade' gift of apple spice bread....when you have Coeliac Disease. I was told "Oh well, the rest of the family can eat it" and then they shrugged. Gee, thanks! That's just ONE example of food gifts I/we have received in the past.

By and large I don't like homemade gifts as they usually 'miss the mark'. But I do have a couple of friends who make homemade jelly that's gratefully received as it's delicious! And I have a dear friend who is a talented jewelry artist and who really 'gets me' so they're items I actually wear.

That being said, any and all gifts are received with smiles and an appreciative 'Why, thank you!!". Except for that bread. That still rankles. A box of crocs would have been more 'inclusive'.

@ARoomWithoutADoor maybe the teacher didn’t have time to read it and has something going on which is taking up her time? She might want to sit down and read it properly at a later date ?

I’m pretty damn good at many crafts, if I do say so myself. But there is absolutely no way I’d waste my precious crafting time on someone unless I’m a 100% certain that they appreciate just how much time goes into making them a gift and actually are interested in what I have to offer!

I think it’s a bit rude to just thrust homemade gifts on people and expect them to be appreciated. But likewise I also think it’s a bit rude to be so snooty about homemade gifts 🤷🏻‍♀️

I suggest you need to be clearer to your crafting friends that you’re just not interested. It’s better for all involved

I wonder if those who are being so snooty about hand made gifts would be equally snooty about a gift someone had bought from the crafts person who made them.

What matters is that a gift is something the recipient will like or enjoy or use, and that it is well made (whether it is mass manufactured or hand made by by the donor or a professional crafter).

I knit and crochet and have made things for people - and believe me, it is not a lazy option - hours of work go into the things I make, and I do my best to make sure that the recipient will like them and that they are as well made as I am capable of. If they weren’t better than mass made items, I wouldn’t give them as gifts. I would LOVE to see someone explain how it is lazy to spend much, much longer making something than it takes to buy something - that is just shoddy logic.

Poorly made, poor quality gifts, with no thought at all about the recipient are a waste of time and money whether you buy them or make them.

I knit and crochet like a fiend. But l send loads of Pinterest boards to gift recipients and ask them to choose what they want, and what colour they would like.

Then l choose a suitable yarn, usually cotton for children’s items.

I don’t mind receiving home made gifts but don’t like chocolates/ cookies etc. I would love to eat them all, but l wouldn’t fit into my trousers any more. So quite often they go into the bin.

Sorry- don't agree.
DD1 is a designer and amazing at craft. She often makes home made gifts- spends hours and hours on it- how on earth anyone can say it's a lazy option is beyond me.

She knits and makes delicious fudge/ cakes, home made soaps, cushions and candles. She made a wonderful ornament shelf out of an old guitar for my other DD a few years ago, a stand for my recorders, an amazing picture made from pins and fine thread and is currently making a garden table for my DH out of an old cable spindle.

DD2 also knits, embroiders and is currently making some very elaborately woven book marks. I suppose it depends on how good someone is at craft- both of mine are amazing and I am always delighted with their presents.

So much more interesting thoughtful and appreciated than a bloody hand cream and shower gel set or a sodding gift voucher/ experience day.

See BOF those are absolutely beautiful, thoughtful and have real meaning. You’re more than “reasonably competent” I would think and you/your gifts are definitely not what us yanbu-ers are criticising. If I knew someone who could make those I’d seriously beg them to make my gift and I’d happily pay!

Unfortunately, a lot of people look at beautiful items made by a person who has skill and experience and think to themselves I’ll have a go at that, seemingly convinced they can just churn these things out for everyone on their gift list...

I made some lovely crochet items for gifts and my family love them

I once received a hand knitted beer bottle.

Home made gifts should be either edible or donate able.
I love craft but rarely dislike anyone enough to subject them to my work.

Also got paintings from another relative but I don't mind. At least they are unique and we joke that they may become valuable in a 100 years'😅

Yes but for all these lovely things people can make and are genuinely talented at there’s the ‘Facebook selling thread’ type stuff. Who would actually be brave enough t tell a loved one their crafts were terrible ?! And then they end up thinking they’re amazing and end up on said Facebook selling threads for others to chuckle at !

@isspacethefinalfrontier I'm saying surely vodka and sweets don't count as homemade. More time reading and less time trying to be condescending.

@isspacethefinalfrontier I'm saying surely vodka and sweets don't count as homemade. More time reading and less time trying to be condescending.

I was agreeing with you so more time reading and less time trying to be condescending right back at you.

@Livebythecoast

I don't think it's lazy /selfish. I suppose it depends what it is I suppose but when my DD was little a lady at work was into quilting and made my DD a beautiful quilt with her favourite things on. I didn't ask for it, she just listened to what my DD liked from chatting to me. This lady has sadly passed away since so it means even more now. A lot of time and effort went into that quilt rather than buying something off the shelf.

Maybe it's because I've spent the day in hospital and I'm amped up on pain relief or maybe I'm just more sentimental than I thought but this made me well up!

I have a friend like your colleague who I can imagine excitedly and subtly scribbling down little details to include - she's the loveliest person I know.

I think you're missing the point of gift-giving here. Home-made gifts are invested with time and love, I'd never throw one away even if it wasn't to my taste. And yes, I'm biased as I make things (jewellery, greeting cards, and sometimes wine charms and bookmarks), but I genuinely think they are nice and I try to make them to the person's liking.

Also, I think anyone who's saying it's 'lazy' to give home-made gifts must not be a crafter or they'd have some idea of how long it takes to execute a well-made piece.

Due to huge families with loads of kids, we have an official presents for kids only rule. I do like to do a little treat gift for the parents. I've done homemade limoncello, chocolate bark, shortbread and lemon curd in the last few years. They're only for family or close friends, who I know like them though as a token gift, in absence of a shop present! I get requests for the booze and bark at other times, so I don't think they're revolting!!

I don't think teacher should accept gifts - I think it should be stopped.
The only people I make food gifts for are people who I would know well enough to come around to my house for dinner - so if they are freaked out by my homemade food gifts - it would be a bit weird.