To hate homemade gifts

[Bearbehind]

New thread with the vote enabled this time!

Unless the giver is actually good enough at making what ever it is to sell then I wish they just wouldn’t give homemade stuff, especially food

Fortunately I don’t generally receive them but I have a friend who’s a teacher who’s inundated with them at Christmas

It just seems such a waste as it pretty much all gets binned

I agree that there's far too much gift giving at Christmas. It's abundantly clear that lots of people give and expect to receive gifts not out of love/affection/gratitude but out of a sense that it's what's expected and buying/making gifts becomes yet another chore to get out of the way.

Even where it isn't a chore, whether the gifts are homemade or bought, a lot of them seem to have been picked because it suits the giver, not because the recipient will love it. I feel Bluntness may have hit on something when she says the recipient seals their own doom by showing so much enthusiasm that the giver thinks 'Great, now I can just keep giving Recipient that every year because she loves it so much!'

An elderly friend invited us for a meal when my brother and I were children. She served a lemon pudding. My parents, my brother and I had been brought up to be polite so we made all the right noises. Every single time we went back (several times a year) she made that lemon pudding, which unfortunately wasn't really that great. Oh well, she was a kind old lady and I still think of her very warmly now.

There are skips of rubbish Christmas presents out there that no one really wants. I don't know why you are singling out the home made ones OP. Piles of tat and stuff we don't need or want and that money gets wasted on.

It's threads like this that make me cringe at everything that's wrong about the Christmas present giving merry go round.

But in the mean time OP No one owes you anything. It's a gift. Smile say thank you and remember that they thought of you and move on.

I voted YANBU and I like homemade gifts... If they're thoughtful, useful and the person making them is talented.

One of my friends makes amazing cakes and so she does mini cake boxes for people each year. The boxes have sweet treats in that match what each couple like. I love it and it's really appreciated. Another friend makes jewellery as a hobby and is really talented so their gifts are always great (they buy all the beads and metal and design it around each friend).
Another family friend makes amazing sewing crafts/knits well and has done some beautiful gifts for people, from table runners to baby blankets. They're lovely because they match the recipient.

But then we have a family friend who has decided whatever their theme or craft of choice is any year is what everyone gets. They're nicer than the "tat on Facebook" but they're not that talented and they aren't as personal or as polished as the other home made gifts. E.g go through phases of deciding that because they made loads of chutney everyone is having chutney this year, then they dabbled in flavoured vodka and gin one year, I'm waiting for the year they bestow everyone personalised wine glasses dunked in glitter.

something that you forked out £30 and stood in a queue for

How does that make it a real sign of love and esteem? That sounds very much like 'I can get 12 of those gift sets in the 3 for 2 deal and that's half the list covered'.

If you know me IRL FFS please tell me you don’t want home made.

I craft to a high standard (I think!) and have a definite weakness for luxury yarns and liberty fabric.

I make friends scarves, hats, toilet bags and I try to make each new baby a quilt but am currently behind (the “baby” whose quilt is in blocks awaiting assembly is rapidly approaching his third birthday!!)

Adults tend to hint heavily that they want something or get someone else to intercede eg. DBro last week “you know the hat you knitted for X (his wife) for Christmas last year, well she has lost it and is really upset because she wore it almost everyday. Could you make another one”

Children tend to be more to the point. My friends 9yo “opinionated, my head has grown and my hat doesn’t fit anymore so I need a new one please. I’d like it to be purple and could you make it like big brother’s”

Name changed because these photos are outing.

YANBU. It’s lazy and selfish. It’s all about what the giver can or wants to make with no thought or regard to the receiver bar maybe sticking their favourite colour in there somewhere.

I'm not lazy or selfish. I think of the person, think of what they might like and make them it. It takes me weeks to make some of the gifts I give. And they are very well received. I have to turn people down when they ask me to make something for them as I only make to give as gifts and don't sell.

I love a homemade gift, personally. I do have the odd dud that I struggle to throw away, as I know how much time will have gone into it. I have been asked for homemade wedding gifts (which I hate - my (small) talent takes bloody ages and I would rather choose who I give them to).

@opinionatedfreak yeah I get that too. My mum has a million scarves that I've made for her that she keeps wanting in different colours. She says everyone compliments her on them. And I know that the blankets I've made are bloody amazing. I can see that myself. And I also know the prices that ones of lesser quality sell for on Etsy.

opinionatedfreak
The fact you get requests etc is probably a sign you're on the right side of homemade gifts.

Homemade gifts that are good quality and thoughtful are lovely.

Eg A makeup bag might be a lovely well crafted gift but would be totally not my sort of gift so giving it to me would be a bit like someone didn't know me, but a set of lovely fabric placemats or a table runner would be right up my street.

If you've seen the threads about tat on Facebook, that's what I think most people object to. Eg bags of "snowman poo", "cake in a kilner jar" (aka some dry ingredients in a glass jar), cheap wine glasses dipped in glitter, 'personalised' mugs which look like. 5 year old has written your name on it. Etc.

There are hundreds of shops in which to purchase a gift, allowing you a chance to spend time browsing them or the internet to find something personal to the receiver, something they’ll actually want.

But that assumes that everyone who buys their gifts puts tat amount of effort in.

There are some people who give carefully thought out, well made homemade gifts that are chosen with the recipient in mind and are welcome and appreciated. And there are those who spend an afternoon dipping 12 cheap wine glasses in glue, throwing some glitter at them and think that's 12 presents sorted.

Equally there are people who will spend hours trawling the shops for the perfect gift with someone in mind, and there are those who hit Boots on the 23rd December and buy 12 lots of smellies on 3 for 2 and think that's 12 presents sorted.

It's not about whether the gift is homemade or bought, neither is inherently better than the other. It's the thought that goes into them.

Yabu. I dont make home made gifts but if i had more time i would like to! It's easy to buy something, difficult to make it. I'm a teacher and get lots of home made gifts, i always appreciate them as a lot of thought and effort has gone into them.

I guarantee none of you would complain at our homemade gin!

@newbingepisodes gin you say?

I made this teddy bear yesterday for my niece. He fits in the palm on my hand and I have blisters from making him.

Lots of home made gifts are lovely and lots of shop bought tat is rubbish. To be honest if you're giving to lots of people the chance of you having time to carefully think about each person, browse the shops and find a personal gift that will be just to their taste is fairly slim. If you can knock up a decent homemade gin or onion chutney I'd much rather that. Consumables are great because they don't clutter up my house! I wouldn't love it if you stuck loads of scrabble pieces to a card and framed it and expected me to display it round my house though!

YANBU

I hate most homemade gifts! I would much rather have something useful or something I want.

And all you people saying, “you’d love my homemade gin/vodka!” No I wouldn’t! I don’t drink! However I would love the jumper I’ve had my eye on in Next, a new pair of boots and some perfume!

Yanbu. By the time someone has bought the materials and faffed about making it, they’d just as well have bought a decent shop made version. Home made food gifts unnerve me a bit just because I’m in and out of people’s houses for work and see the state of a lot of them. And I’m not particularly houseproud.

Crochet I do like your bear though, he’s lovely. Better than shop standard!

I really love homemade gifts, so much thought, effort and times goes into them. This year we are making lots of homemade gifts (food mainly) and perhaps one or two craft items.

Never give a homemade gift to a teacher or something with their name on it or "great teacher" (or the like). Unless you are brilliant at making whatever it is, don't give to anyone, except close family. It's ok to give homemade food as a small offering but not as a more official gift (i.e in place of a birthday or Christmas present).

crochet the tiny ted is gorgeous! DD has two rabbits a bit like that - my mum made them to fit in the pockets of a cardi she knitted for her. They are still cherished years after the cardi was outgrown.

So yes, it’s about quality and thoughtfulness as lots of people have said. I grow a lot of rhubarb. I know my rhubarb and vanilla jam is great because people ask me for more when they run out 😂. I don’t give it to people who I know don’t love jam or rhubarb or vanilla.

I’m a teacher, get loads of homemade stuff...
Food always, without exception, goes in the bin.
Most other bits also end up in the bin. I live in a small flat and I don’t have space to keep it all. I keep my own children’s home made gifts -handprints, pictures, pottery- I don’t want to die being squashed under fallen piles and piles of homemade stuff made by other people’s children thank you.

For context I’ve taught for 15 years and I have only kept 2 homemade gifts because they are gorgeous and make me tear up when I look at them. They could easily be sold in a shop and yet are so heartfelt.

Give vouchers.
Always.

OhMyDarling My husband is a teacher. He doesn’t need or want vouchers. He wants above all thoughtful messages in handwritten cards though actually the sweetest Christmas message he’s ever had was written by a teenage boy on a post-it note stuck to a chocolate orange. The chocolate orange was nice but unnecessary. He still has the post-it in the study.

I am a crafter for a living. I am good at what I do and my products are not "homemade". Because of my job, some family members assume I like every gift to be homemade. They might as well save themselves the time and effort and just buy me gin . My sister did make lots of different kinds of muffin for everyone one Christmas as she was skint, and they went down very well. They weren't just tat fit for the bin though.
Handmade, however, I like, provided it is made by someone good at what they do. There's a clear difference between homemade and handmade.

Bloody hell you lot are an ungrateful bunch. Has it never occurred to you that people might make these things because they either can't afford anything half decent shop bought, don't want to buy pointless tat and/or actually enjoy making and giving their gifts. I will admit I'm not a huge fan of trinkets, arts & crafts, but ffs, edibles surely can be used at some point!

Hoping auntie Caroline isn't reading and then decides to stop the annual homemade chutney & sloe gin parcels

‘I guarantee none of you would complain at our homemade gin!’

I don’t drink