AIBU to use AIBU for something that’s really making me panic

[Wherearemycrayons]

For various reasons I’m back living with my mum and dad and have been For a good 9 months.
I’ve just applied for a credit card and have been accepted so I can make a big one off purchase which I know I’ll be able to pay back.
My mum and dad are absolutely totally and utterly against credit cards and I’ve just had a gut wrenching feeling I won’t be in when the post comes... how obvious is a card in the post? Surely they wouldn’t splash across Virgin Money Credit Card??
Help

Anyone?

It will likely say the name of the ba k on the envelope. I would thought labelling it as a credit card woulds nor be a good security move.

That’s what I’m hoping, thanks for your reply, I’m just really hoping they don’t find it first.
For my age it’s ridiculous I’m getting this anxious but they’d probably throw me out 😂 and I really don’t need that right now!! I can’t believe I didn’t even think about the delivery of the card!

But look. You're an adult. Having a credit card and using it sensibly is good for your credit rating. If they say anything give them short shrift. It's none of their business.

They'd throw you out???

No, it won’t say anything revealing. You can just say it’s your new replacement bank card.

Hope you get sorted soon.

If the envelope is felt it's usually quite clear there's a card in there. However I once didnt want a bank card sent to my house and arranged to collect this form the bank. Would something like this be a possibility. I'm sure there's plenty of reasons for people not wanting others to know they're getting a credit card including in situations of leaving a domestic violent relationship

Yes, I agree about your credit rating.

You could try ringing the bank to ask when it will be posted so you will have an idea of when to wait in for the post or else ask if you can collect from you local bank instead.

They’re of the opinion you shouldn’t spend money that you don’t have, if you can’t afford it then you can’t have it, and that’s fair enough I get that, but i still need to live my life, I know I can pay it back and I will. But I think they think the temptation is there to spend more than I have and spiral into debt.
I’m also aware of the credit rating and I have a brilliant credit rating as it is so I’m keen to keep it that way it’s just I suppose they’d use the ‘we’re keeping you here through circumstances and now you’ve done something we’re against under our own roof’
I get that too but I just didn’t have a choice 🤦🏻‍♀️

@OrangeZog it says 7-10 working days which is not helpful in a full time job 😩 why can’t they be more specific!

@billandbenflowerpotmen1 I’m not sure if because it’s credit they have to send it to your house so they know you’re who you say you are but I’ll definitely see if this is a possibility thank you

Banks usually try not to make it look too obvious for security reasons, although it will be obvious it's a card from a credit card company if they look at the envelope, it won't have branding all over it.

Ridiculous that you're so worried about your parent's reaction, although they're right about buying things on credit IMO. I've always taken the view that if I can't pay for it I can't afford it, debt is a road to misery and it costs a lot more than people think it does, plus it's a never ending cycle. If you're paying back credit, you can't save, so you "have" to borrow again.

That said, I do have credit cards, which I just use as payment cards (and collect the points) and pay off in full every month. It avoids having to think about whether money is in the current account (rather than savings) before making a purchase.

In that case how about asking work or a friend if you can set up a postal redirection for a month (or whatever the minimum time is)?

Tell them that by paying in credit card you get all sorts of benefits -cash back, discount, air miles etc. And that paying back everything monthly you are getting those benefits for nothing. Make shit up.

It will have a return address on the back of the envelope that will say Virgin Money on it but it won't say on the envelope that there's a card inside. It might be possible to feel the card through the envelope, if your parents really are that nosy.

How old are you? If you're any older than 18 or 19 and you're desperately panicky about your parents' reaction to something as ordinary as you having a credit card, it doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship.

Do they have a religious objection to credit? Or is really just they will be annoyed about a big one-off purchase because they'd rather you moved out and they want you to put the money towards a deposit on a place to rent or something? Or are they only worried about you getting a credit card because you're living with them and it's linked to their address and therefore could affect their credit rating if you don't pay it back? (I appreciate you know that won't be the case!) Otherwise it's really odd that their reaction would be that extreme.

@OrangeZog that’s a good idea but I think it takes 7 days for that to go through so may not be worth it :(

@newnameforthis76
It’s more that it’s against what they believe in under their own roof, if I was living in my own house I’d kind of be like well it’s my life type thing!
I’m 26

I get loads of ‘fake’ credit cards through from banks who want me to sign up, could you say it was one of those?

I just opened one 5 minutes ago, came in a none descript enverlope, no bank name on. I thought it was junk mail. Didn't realize it was a card till I opened it.
Unless your Mum squeezes and bends your post she won't notice.

If you are paying your way at your parents it would be VU of them to object. However, if you miss payments while at their address it will affect their credit rating.

Are you good with money generally? If you aren't then they are not being U to make you think twice about credit card debt.

@Ohhhthepain really? I might be able to get away with that then

I’m good with money it’s a one off purchase and I’ve looked carefully at 0% offers so as not to be hit with a huge interest but it’s just hard 🤦🏻‍♀️ I wish I’d thought this through more

Do your parents know you better than we do? I got into debt as a student, I'm now 40 and mortgage free, but if my mum sees a credit card in my hand, she worries! Cut that thing up save save up for what you want 😁, I'm kidding (sort of) but credit cards are only useful for small purchases and paying off monthly to get a good credit score. Usually when people want to make massive purchases and they haven't saved at least half of If, then chances are they won't be able to pay it off in the time frame they believe.

If you don't manage to pay it off, make sure you transfer to a new 0% in balance transfers and purchases card before the interest starts.

if you miss payments while at their address it will affect their credit rating

This isn’t true. Addresses are not black listed, only people are. However, because you live with someone you could be financially linked to them on a credit report. As long as you don’t have any joint finances it’s easy to make sure this is removed by just contacting the credit report companies.

Do you really need the thing? Is it a Christmas present for someone?