to think I should be included in the family Secret Santa?

[UnderHisEyeBall]

Just that really. I'm not going to my parents' for Christmas this year as I will be going to the ILs. My manipulative sister has taken it upon herself to declare that I can't be part of the family Secret Santa because of this on the family WhatsApp. My parents have nothing to say on the matter.

AIBU? She's a cow bag right?

I don’t think your parents have done anything wrong.

There just letting you sort it amongst yourselves and probably don’t want to get involved in the pettiness of it.

Hi folks

Can we please stay on topic? It's not really fair to make this thread about the other one that's currently running.

Thanks.

Have you asked why you can’t play? Maybe she thinks everyone should be together to open the presents on Christmas morning.

We do secret Santa In work - the whole fun is seeing people open the gifts and guessing who they are from. It doesn’t really work if the gift givers and receivers aren’t all there.

Can you not let this one go?

Secret santa is for the people who are there. Is there any time where you’re all together?

I'm with your sister on this.

Weird to be in a Secret Santa when you won’t be there. If I was your parents, I wouldn’t get involved in 2 adults being so petty.

I agree with PPs though - you’d go apeshit if your MIL stepped in to sort out a disagreement between your DH and a sibling.

I’ll give you the same advice I gave another totally different person on another thread

Grow up and stop being pathetic. HTH

Secret Santa is for people present though, if you're not going to be there it doesnt make sense or work.

So you won't get a Christmas present from your family? That's wrong. You could always buy yourself a Christmas present of course but that's not really what this is about is it?

Personally I think a secret santa only really works if everyone is there, to guess together. So I'm with your sister in this one. However only you know if there's some backstory meaning she's more likely doing it to be horrible.

I would be hurt by this too OP. You're not really choosing to spend Christmas elsewhere and of course it's important to give/receive gifts from your own family.

Has this happened before? Do you usually include people who aren't physically there? That's what is important here. If nobody who isn't there gets to "play", it's fair enough that you don't either. If other people who aren't there are included, it's not fair that you aren't. If this has never occurred before, you need to agree some ground rules.

This is so petty. If it was my adult children fighting like this, I also would not get involved.

God I would never exclude someone who wanted to be in a secret santa. Doesn't matter if they can't physically be there, if they've expressed a desire to be part of it it's just unkind, full stop, to say they can't be.

Fucking hell. You and your sister sound childish as fuck and as for expecting your patents to step in. Seriously???

well if your other sister thinks you should be included may be she could let your difficult sister know she doesn't need to be allocated a name as she'll be doing you and you do her.