Threatening letter from school regarding DD's attendance

[Sofi88]

We received a letter from DD's school yesterday saying DD's attendance is below average, and hence not good enough and had to be improved. The letter was threatening, and the words "Be Careful!" was highlighted in huge letters. The letter goes on to say that we have to make sure DD is in school every day from now on, so that her attendance improves. It also states they may contact the Education Welfare Officer if it does not improve.

Thing is though, DD has been off sick ONE day in the period this letter refers to, and I have picked her up early to go to medical appointments three times. One of these times I picked her up at 12 (only available appointment), but the other two I picked her up at 3:20 - ten minutes before I was due to pick her up anyway.

DD has a medical condition, which she has so far been treated for by her GP and a specialist nurse. She has actually had less appointments than normal this term, due to her now being transferred to a specialist paediatrician at the hospital. Our first appointment there is in December, so her GP and the nurse have told us to simply wait for that appointment unless there are any concerns in between. The school knows about her condition.

And also, she had one day off due to illness, where we phoned in and explained she was too ill to go in, which they said they were fine with. DH then went in at 3:30 to pick up her homework. Apart from this one day and the three times I've had to pick her up early due to medical appointments, she has had no absence!

Doesn't my child have a right to get treated for her condition, as well as a basic right to stay home when she is too ill to go in? Apart from this letter, we haven't received anything else - like them asking for medical evidence, doctor's notes etc. We have simply got the impression everything has been done right. The teacher has not mentioned anything when I've picked her up early for a GP appointment. You'd think they ask for medical evidence before sending out a threatening letter like this? A note from her GP would be no problem at all to provide. Would be a lot nicer to have them ask for that, rather than this threatening letter!

Does anyone know anything about this?

I actually posted about this recently as since we've been back my reception age child has been off for 8 days and Y2 child off for 5. It's what week 9 of the school year??

Reception age shouldn't be an issue as she isn't 5 yet but I dont expect us to get through almost an entire year without any sick days.

Genuine illness all round and I've been adhering to the 48h policy.

I'm expecting my letter any day.

I'm honestly thinking of taking her out and have her start again next year. I'm going on maternity leave in December and we could technically do this. I'm just scared it'll make everything worse? Does anyone know?

I know there was a law change to allow defferment in England - but I don't know if that applies once she's already accepted a place.

Best thing to do is talk directly to your LEA and the school and see what they think. Asking would they let her re-restart reception or put her straight into year 1 - and would there likely be a place at that school in year 1.

I believe it is entirely up to the individual school whether they require medical evidence, or how much they chase parents about absences.

I have DCs in years 13,11 and 8. DC1 used to have regular appointments in school time for speech therapy and then orthadontics. We were never asked for proof of these appointments at either primary or secondary school. DC3 has autism, MH issues and regular migraines which result in quite a bit of missed school (her attendance % is usually low-mid 80s). Neither school has ever sent us a letter about her attendance as they knew about her issues. Her secondary school learning support manager once told me in passing that most pupils would get letters home/other interventions for her absence levels, but they deliberately don't follow those processes for children with SEN or medical issues. As long as they know about the situation, school would rather keep a good relationship with the parents so they can work together to support the child, and sending antagonising letters that they know are pointless could actually harm that relationship.

So they don't have to send out those threatening letters. Someone somewhere, either in school or possibly at the LEA, has made a decision to send them to everyone and to ignore individual circumstances.

@BreatheAndFocus, excellent points. Fortunately my children were through school before this obsessive focus on attendance started. I was a school governor and vividly remember our head talking to a parent governor who was a teacher about how tricky it was when one of their children was ill and how often they had been sent in to school when they weren't really well enough because neither parent could take time off that day. That child might have ended up with 100% attendance but along the way infected lots of other children, including some with health problems. And that's before we get started on whether it's fair for a young child to be in school when they're feeling rough and would be better off at home.

@user1477391263, I agree with you too. I sometimes look at threads on the lunchbox police, uniform issues, draconian discipline of all kinds in schools and I am amazed that parents put up with it. If my children had been ten years younger I'd have had to consider home education for my daughter, who's on the autistic spectrum, as she just wouldn't have coped with a lot of what's standard in schools now.

It's annoying OP. Its quite worrying when you get a letter like that for something that is out of your control.

Perhaps someone on here might be able to word a letter which suggests that they might want to update their systems regarding sending out attendance warnings to children with long term medical issues or to those who have reported illness to the school. The letters are distressing to receive and might actually encourage parents who suspect their child has an infectious illness to send them into school anyway

Just ignore it, its a standard letter.

Bit harsh or the school really, we took DS aged 4 out for a week for holiday, we put a holiday form in and basically school said thanks for telling us but we don’t really care as he’s not five until March.

In terms of taking her out of school and staring again next year i think it might do more harm than good? Would you send her back to the same school? Couldn’t you look at part time for while? 9-11 sessions? I know schools offer this, then look at full time next year?

Also don’t miss the application cut off it you do pull her out... mid January. As you would have to reapply all over again

@maternity123qwe Yes, that's what I'm scared of - making it worse. As for now though, I don't think she'll care or even understand that the others would be in the year above her. And I'd only ever do this if we were able to defer her entry, rather than applying again. The school is nice, and I'd be scared of losing the place completely. It's just heartbreaking seeing her so unhappy, considering the rest of her life is going to be school/work/duties. Since she doesn't like it, it's hard to face that she legally doesn't have to do it.

Sorry OP I missed your latest reply when posting. Does your school have someone you can talk to (in primary it may be the head) about how your DD is struggling, and whether part time or flexible schooling could be an option for now? I know some schools can be flexible with pupils who are having difficulties. DD used to miss quite a lot of primary school (around 85% attendance). Some times she would try going in and the school would phone me to pick her up if she was struggling. Sometimes I would take her in at morning break so we could get ready more leisurely and she could relax before going in. Sometimes it would be lunchtime. But the school didn't mind, and didn't send us letters, because they knew my DDs situation (autism combined with stress related migraines that could cause her to collapse) and they trusted that I absolutely would get her in if she was up to it. I never got an attendance letter. Even in school they made allowances for her - eg she was allowed to use the hall piano at break (when other children were outside) as playing it relaxed her. I did have regular contact with the headteacher and kept her up to date on medical appointments, and the school were very helpful about referring her for an autism diagnosis. There was also another pupil there who only ever came in for 2 or 3 days a week. I don't know the reasons for this (DD never asked her), but she said this girl seemed fine when she was in, she just didn't come to school every day. This was an LEA primary school.

DDs current (secondary) school actually suggested to me that we schedule one of DDs regular appointments specifically to miss an afternoon lesson she doesn't like, so she is more likely to go in just for the morning and not miss they whole day because of a stress related migraine. So the right school can choose to work with you, if they want to. It might well be worth having a meeting with the head to discuss what options you might have for part time or more flexible schooling while your DD needs it. If the other option is pulling her out of school altogether, there may be something they are prepared to do.

How unfair of them. I am sorry about this. My dd is off a lot due to mental health issues and school have been very supportive. Any medical issues should receive the same care.

We get the standard heavy handed one which is then amended by the head teacher who then goes on to explain she understands my children's pre-existing means they need time off and thank you for co- operating with the school type thing. They have to send the heavy handed one but they are able to amend it under that in their own words.

unfortunately some people do keep their kids off school too much. The child’s attendance has fallen below the threshold for whatever reason & the letter is to scare those who don’t take their kids schooling seriously. For the parents who have genuinely unwell children all they have to do is write back confirming their medical history & provide details to confirm their child’s condition.

Phone them and tell them you will not send your child to school ill, and you will take her out of school early for doctors appointments if you have to because her health is more important than having perfect attendance. Bin the letter and don't give it another thought.

I'd just phone the school and ask them wtf they think they're doing and tell them what you've written here.

It'll be a standard letter that they send out for everyone. It's stupid nonsense for them to tick stupid boxes and if you actually speak to someone there they'll hopefully address it like a human being.

I'd probably lodge a complaint at the tone of the letter and let them know I thought it was inappropriate bollocks.

The language in the letter is rude and superior. The school obviously have a difficult job managing attendance , but there must be better ways of engaging about it than this.

I remember getting these & also with a DD with chronic health issues, so it mightily pissed me off. In general they are just automated letters sent out by the office, but not great when you are already up against the wall juggling medical appointments etc. Unfortunately schools with poor attendance are worst for this & IME pick on those that they feel that they can, as so many others are repeals off/late & ignore. I was so passed off when they didn't stop at my request, I rang the EWO myself to get their opinion. When I explained DDs chronic medical condition & how this was an extra layer of stress that we didn't need, the EWO told the school off & it stopped

It's because we're Legally required to do TWO registers a day - so 1.5 days is actually 3 absences... 2 days would be 4 absences, 4 days would be 8 absences etc. Ofsted would clobber the school if they WEREN'T sending these letters, and they clobber the school for attendance below 98% even if it's ALL down to illness! So it's actually OFSTED that cause this issue... Attendance is a safe-guarding issue though, so the intentions are good...

The EWO didn't 'tell the school off' because it's the EWO that montiors to make sure the school are SENDING these letters LOL. i bet that's what they told you though (sigh)

I wish parents could be told that all of these policies that annoy them and make them feel monitored are governmental directives, enforced and controlled by outside agencies and OFSTED... it's so frustrating! All we want to do is educate...

Ofsted would clobber the school if they WEREN'T sending these letters

But my kids have been in 2 outstanding primaries and not received the letters.

For the parents who have genuinely unwell children all they have to do is write back confirming their medical history & provide details to confirm their child’s condition.

But it seems parents of children with long term health conditions are getting these letters - even after the school is made fully aware of the health issues. It just seems pointless (and yet more fucking admin) to keep sending out the letters and expect the parents to keep responding with info they already have. And for some parents it can be upsetting, worrying or confusing to keep getting a stern generic 'warning' letter.

Hazeyjane presumably though your issues are documented and therefore there is no need.

I have gotten them from my school but many would not even know they are on the radar because they have been fortunate enough.

It also depends on individual councils and the EWO - our school was visited every 3 weeks last year and they were definitely targeted

I'm well aware of that Humus, which is why I just to speak with the monkey, not the organ grinder to put a stop to it. 🙄

Why I chose too

The automatic letters really bug me. It wouldn't be so bad if they added a paragraph at the start to explain the policy and that they realise that everyone will occasionally have a bad run of illness. That would also be a good place to say "we know that in your child's case there are inevitable absences for hospital appointments".

When my daughter got one, my husband wrote in to point out that statistically, most children would fall below 95% at some point. He never got a reply.

When my daughter was in reception, as an August birthday, she struggled with the full week. Her teacher positively encouraged me to collect her at lunchtime if she was getting really tired, and she had an afternoon off most weeks. I think the absences went down as "not yet compulsory school age" and didn't count against the school's absence statistics.

The whole thing is ludicrous. I once saw a head's letter encouraging parents to book doctors' appointments for later in the morning; missing registration by being fifteen minutes late is an absence, going out for an hour or more mid-morning is not.