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Original poster

My neighbour has taken a disliking to me

35 replies

meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 12:26

I recently moved from a refuge into a council property. I am very thankful for getting a property after a lengthy wait in a very nice area and after experiencing domestic abuse I just want a peaceful life. It's long so I apologise.

Back story is I moved in last month and greeted my neighbour whilst I moved things into the house. She advised that my parking space was to the side of the house and I said I was parked in layby (these spaces are not designated to anyone) out the front of my house as I was unpacking (I have back issues). She asked if I would move my car after and I said when i'm finished moving in I would. I was firm, but polite with her as she was with me.

When I moved in both my bins were full to the top with some rotting food, which was annoying, but not the end of the world. These bins were on my shared drive with my neighbour. Bins emptied eventually, moved back to parking space, but they kept being filled up. I spoke to council and they advised to move bins to front of house which I did and had no more issues.

Neighbour knocked on my door last week and asked if I had emptied her bin on my drive. I had been home half hour from school run and the bin hadn't been emptied on her drive when I arrived home. She was very direct, but I told her the truth that it must have happened in the last half hour as it wasn't in that way when I arrived home. I said maybe check with neighbours to see if they had CCTV.

I've now had a letter from my housing association saying my neighbour has accused me of tipping her bin in her drive and damaging ornaments outside her property. It's a formal complaint of nuisance against me. I haven't spoken with neighbour and i'm trying to get hold of housing officer who's on holiday. I mentioned to other neighbour on other side who I know from before I moved here and she is convinced its the ladies partner who does these things to make her think everyone hates her.

This ladies partner has also advised delivery driver no one lived at the property so my TV was sent back, intercepts deliveries when i'm home and intercepted a takeaway telling them it was for another house. I think the partner might be abusive as I hear him shouting at the ladies child (not his) every single day and I often hear her crying. The six year old boy was shouting he wanted to hill himself and the abusive partner told him to get on with it. I am really heightened to these things and I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Stuckinanutshell · 13/11/2019 13:09

This sounds horrible, OP.

I suggest you start a log of everything that occurs eg those screaming matches, the partner diverting mail etc.

I would also call 101 and ask for advice on what you think could be a DV situation — at the very least it starts a log.

If you feel it’s appropriate (the female neighbour doesn’t seem violent?) maybe approach her and say you think there has been some confusion as you did not tip the bin etc and that it’s been mistakenly lodged as a complaint against you and see what she says. It could be be that her partner told her you did it and she’s unaware of the truth.

SuchAToDo · 13/11/2019 13:15

Op can you afford to get a security camera installed so that if there is anymore false accusations you can show your innocence with security camera...

I would speak to citizens advice bureau and explain you have moved into a house after experiencing domestic violence and now you are having all this shot and accusations with new neighbours ....the Citizens advice bureau of they can't help you themselves will be able to tell you who can...

But as for your neighbour, if I was you I just wouldn't engage with them at all,

Original poster
meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 13:28

I spoke to my housing officer now and he's said it's logged and nothing else is happening right now. I think I might try and get some security as such, but it's a bit of a push to afford it right now. I am taking note of everything that happens and will be polite with her if I bump into her on the drive, but I don't feel anything good can come of trying to talk to either of them. I don't want to get into a war of reporting each other and things escalating. I've heard they have both had a few run ins with neighbours. He's been sending inappropriate messages to another mum in the street too. He really gives me the creeps.

OP posts:
MuthaFunka61 · 13/11/2019 13:34

I think there's some good advice above and having recently moved I understand how things can be with getting to live amongst new neighbours.
If I hear raised voices I put my favourite music on,which drowns out any sounds and makes me happy.

As for the DV taking place next door, I'd be wanting to take specialist advice. I think knowing the situation I'd be more resilient to any perceived hostility from your female neighbour and try to understand that she'll be under a lot of stress.
Definitely refute any allegations with your Housing Officer who I'm sure is aware that there seems to be a pattern here.
Good luck

Wingedharpy · 13/11/2019 13:37

From what you describe here OP, I feel you should report the vile-sounding partner to social services (assuming you are in UK), for the sake of that poor 6 year old child.
You can do this anonymously ,and I would recommend that you do ,as you need to protect yourself as well.
The vile partner sounds like he is the problem.
Good luck.
These are the worst sort of neighbours you needed given your back story.

Frenchw1fe · 13/11/2019 13:44

Do you think the previous tenants had similar problems? If so the council will be well aware of these neighbours and will know what they're like.
Definitely get security cameras once you can afford them.

Polydactyly · 13/11/2019 13:56

Please call nspcc for advice on what he’s doing to that poor child.

Original poster
meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 14:02

I worry about reporting to social services as I don't want it to come back on me and her to cause me problems. I know the way he's acting is awful, but I'm not sure I want the fall out from them when they figure out they have been reported by a neighbour and they will assume it's me. Also I don't want them to do the same to me, as I have involvement with them because of PND and also because of the DV issue. Could I speak to the school and mention my concerns for the child? They may also have concerns and it might lead them to investigate further?

OP posts:
Original poster
meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 14:04

I don't want to sit back and do nothing, but I also want to protect myself and children. I just want a peaceful life.

OP posts:
SaskiaRembrandt · 13/11/2019 14:14

If you report them to social services it will be kept anonymous - and unless you live in the middle of nowhere with no other neighbours there is no way they could know it was you. It could be another neighbour, a passerby who overheard it, his school because he said something. You mentioned you have involvement with SS - is that ongoing? If so, maybe mention it to whoever deals with your case.

I understand why you find it daunting, but if the poor little boy next door is being told to go and kill himself, someone needs to step in and help him.

Original poster
meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 14:21

@SaskiaRembrandt I do have neighbours, but they've reported me for the bin and damaging ornaments and had no indication it could of been me. I'm worried how they might retaliate if they believe it's me. Will it say it's come from a neighbour if I reported it? I think he might be a pretty dangerous man, I just have a bad feeling about him and think he's abusing his partner and her child and I know something needs to be done. I will call NSPCC this evening for some advice.

I have spoken to a friend today who's looking into putting a camera up for me.

OP posts:
BlankTimes · 13/11/2019 14:36

So sorry to hear your NDN is so awful Sad

You could tell your neighbour about bin locks, if she fitted one, no-one could tamper with her bin.
Amazon sell them. Ditto if you fit them on yours, no-one can tamper with them.

Also tell the HA that NDN is interfering with deliveries to your house.
Could you stick a large sheet of paper inside your front window saying in big red letters

Delivery company name

Delivery expected here today

I am in, please knock/ring the bell.

Wingedharpy · 13/11/2019 14:41

Would your security camera friend report to Soc services anonymously?
That way, it hasn't come from you directly.
If the neighbour from hell has had run ins with a few neighbours, the reporting could have come from any one of them.
This must be your worst nightmare OP, having escaped from an abusive situation yourself.
I do appreciate this is not easy for you and you are, understandably, treading cautiously.

FraglesRock · 13/11/2019 14:45

Would a ring doorbell help? I can't work out if this happens in front of your property. If so they can record sound and image.

Original poster
meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 14:49

These are all great points and I appreciate it. It has become my worse nightmare as this was suppose to be my safe haven away from this all after loosing my house and living in a refuge with my children for so long. Luckily other neighbour is lovely and is very supportive of it all. She's said she's had enough too and is reporting them. She's lived there since they were first built and said its a peaceful place with all neighbours except them. She said he's been living there a year and seems to be causing all the issues. The way my house is set up my car is next t their house and I can't see it from my home, I'm half tempted to start parking it at the front.

OP posts:
Original poster
meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 14:53

@FraglesRock The bins were in my drive which is the side of the house and not where I can see and I would have to pass her house to get to my front door. My bins are now by my front door which has parking in a lay by in front.
I say its a house but it's kind of like a flat. it's L shaped and she's downstairs with her front door on one side of the building and i'm upstairs, but I have my own front door, stairs on the other side of the building. Her downstairs window in next to my front door.

OP posts:
FriedasCarLoad · 13/11/2019 14:56

The six year old boy was shouting he wanted to hill himself and the abusive partner told him to get on with it

Please report this to social services.

shearwater · 13/11/2019 14:58

You can get a CCTV camera connected to your phone very cheaply and they are easy to install to cover the front of your house.

They sound like absolute scum and need reporting asap.

FriedasCarLoad · 13/11/2019 14:59

Sorry OP, I left a long gap between reading and posting and didn’t see you updates.

I still think it would be best to report it but totally see why you’re reluctant. Sorry you’re in such a difficult situation. Flowers

Original poster
meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 15:05

For everyone who loves a diagram. I am going to report.

My neighbour has taken a disliking to me
OP posts:
MsPepperPotts · 13/11/2019 15:06

So sorry you are going through this OP.
I would buy some signs off amazon "Smile you're on CCTV" or similar Stick them in your windows front, side and back. They cost a couple of quid.
Park your car at the front so you can see it and aim the camera at it when your friend comes round to install it for you.
Keep a detailed diary dates times of everything that has gone on from day one.

Wingedharpy · 13/11/2019 15:10

You are one brave lady - well done you.
A 6 year old little boy will never know that you were his guardian angel.
Keep yourself safe.
Report anonymously.
You don't need to say you are a neighbour - you could just say "it has come to my attention"....

DonKeyshot · 13/11/2019 15:28

Given that you only moved in last month, someone didn't waste any time in trying to stir up trouble that you don't deserve or need.

Security camera and cultivate your other neighbour - she sounds great and you can both have each other's backs in the face of whatever false allegations are made against you.

Report your concerns about the little boy either to his school or anonymously to the NSPCC - don't be one of those who does nothing as this child sounds in urgent need of SS intervention.

WorldEndingFire · 13/11/2019 16:40

Might be worth speaking to Citizens Advice and your local councillor about this to see what their thoughts are. For the nuisance noise, you can use this app to log incidents as well. Hope that you get things resolved soon, you deserve peace.

noisenuisance.org/noise-app/

Original poster
meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 18:23

I'm calling social services tomorrow and reporting. I'm also going to order a ring doorbell. Hopefully it will be the last of it, but I'm not convinced. I guess I can take comfort in the fact they have upset all the neighbours and it's not just me.

OP posts: