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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My neighbour has taken a disliking to me

35 replies

meneighbourhatesme · 13/11/2019 12:26

I recently moved from a refuge into a council property. I am very thankful for getting a property after a lengthy wait in a very nice area and after experiencing domestic abuse I just want a peaceful life. It's long so I apologise.

Back story is I moved in last month and greeted my neighbour whilst I moved things into the house. She advised that my parking space was to the side of the house and I said I was parked in layby (these spaces are not designated to anyone) out the front of my house as I was unpacking (I have back issues). She asked if I would move my car after and I said when i'm finished moving in I would. I was firm, but polite with her as she was with me.

When I moved in both my bins were full to the top with some rotting food, which was annoying, but not the end of the world. These bins were on my shared drive with my neighbour. Bins emptied eventually, moved back to parking space, but they kept being filled up. I spoke to council and they advised to move bins to front of house which I did and had no more issues.

Neighbour knocked on my door last week and asked if I had emptied her bin on my drive. I had been home half hour from school run and the bin hadn't been emptied on her drive when I arrived home. She was very direct, but I told her the truth that it must have happened in the last half hour as it wasn't in that way when I arrived home. I said maybe check with neighbours to see if they had CCTV.

I've now had a letter from my housing association saying my neighbour has accused me of tipping her bin in her drive and damaging ornaments outside her property. It's a formal complaint of nuisance against me. I haven't spoken with neighbour and i'm trying to get hold of housing officer who's on holiday. I mentioned to other neighbour on other side who I know from before I moved here and she is convinced its the ladies partner who does these things to make her think everyone hates her.

This ladies partner has also advised delivery driver no one lived at the property so my TV was sent back, intercepts deliveries when i'm home and intercepted a takeaway telling them it was for another house. I think the partner might be abusive as I hear him shouting at the ladies child (not his) every single day and I often hear her crying. The six year old boy was shouting he wanted to hill himself and the abusive partner told him to get on with it. I am really heightened to these things and I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Apolloanddaphne · 13/11/2019 18:40

I am a social worker and I am very glad to see you plan to report what you have heard. If you don't want to go through SS you can use NSPCC. I have always found them very good at passing things on to the right people.

cacklingmags · 13/11/2019 19:11

So sorry you have this vile man next door when you have been so courageous in your own situation. Look after yourself and your own DC first and foremost.

meneighbourhatesme · 14/11/2019 21:35

It appears the complaining neighbours abusive partner has gone away somewhere. I doubt it's on holiday or anything as he doesn't have a job, so maybe they've broken up. I've heard her crying today whilst I've been at home, but I haven't heard the child being shouted out which is nice. My nice neighbour has said the abusive partner would often go with complaining neighbour to her part time job and wait in the car until she finished her shift. He sounds very controlling, but I imagine he will be back. I contacted NSPCC today.

OP posts:
BlankTimes · 15/11/2019 00:07

Well done! I hope the NSPCC will take whatever action is needed for the child to be safe.

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 15/11/2019 00:26

Good luck Op as he sounds horrendous.

CanuckBC · 15/11/2019 00:33

So sad about the 6 yr old. Definite abuse happening in the house and or mental health issues. It does sound like he is controlling and abusive from all you have said. Please still report so the child can get the help he needs. Even if the man is gone the child will need help due to the trauma.

PeopleWhoRun · 15/11/2019 00:45

So pleased you have reported what you know OP.
Keep a log of all deliveries and odd behaviour.
I hope you get your peace Flowers

VenusTiger · 15/11/2019 00:48

Call school of little boy and report OP. I’m sorry, but hearing a six yr old say such extreme things is terrifying and I really don’t think you should leave it. Please don’t ignore it. You’ll regret it if the little boy runs away or something. Please report it.

VenusTiger · 15/11/2019 00:49

I see you contacted nspcc - so glad! Poor wee mite has to see his mom in tears. What an awful mess for him.
Please update us when you know more about his welfare.

meneighbourhatesme · 18/11/2019 11:56

I haven't seen the bloke for a few days now, which has been great. It's all reported to NSPCC and I now have a security camera up which picks up motion and sound.

OP posts:
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