To think this wasn't right

[peachesandclean]

I just got back from a weekend break with my family (8 of us in all) and we stayed in a large house with a hot tub in the garden.

My sister and I (both early 20s) were in the hot tub sunday afternoon and the owner came in through the garden and told us he was coming to do the chemical check for the hot tub, we were in our cozzies so naturally felt a little uncomfortable that this man we had never seen before had just arrived and came and did that. We asked him if he needed us to get out and he said no so we just sat in the hot tub not knowing what to say whilst he did it. The rest of our family was out sightseeing whilst all this was happening. He was quite unfriendly and blunt with us and the whole encounter was a bit awkward.

We told our family when they got back and they were annoyed on our behalf saying that he should have come back later once he'd seen we were in it, or asked if it was okay for him to do the test. All in all it felt rather invasive.

I get that it's his house and he can do whatever he likes but to me when you're paying someone to stay in their house, surely there should still be some sort of boundaries? Luckily it didn't ruin the weekend but it has left me wondering about what is morally acceptable in situations like these

the etiquette of something like this

The etiquette is it’s his hot tub and his responsibility to make sure it’s safe, and probably fill in paperwork to show he’s done the checks. Unless he lives on site he has no idea when in the day the hot tub will be in use. Although I agree perhaps the best practice would be to have a set time in the morning to do said checks, then he won’t surprise anyone. We once had a rental where the hot tub was full of bacteria and everyone got a skin infection! The owners were round like a flash then and we spent the rest of the holiday red and itchy.

@OxfordCat

Thank you, it looks like you're the only one who is seeing what I was getting at

And don’t you assume that a woman will welcome advances from a good looking creep. And ‘by virtue of having a vagina’! WTAF!

Exactly, I haven't been welcoming of random male advances at any time in my life having hardly ever been single since I was about 17 years old.

What OxfordCat said.

If it had to be done during your stay it should be stated in the details available before booking. Then when you arrive/collect keys you should be informed what time each day a staff member will be letting themselves into the property. He also should have asked if you minded when he arrived and saw you were in the hot tub. Or offered to come back at another time.

You were paying for a private holiday let. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy whilst in the property.

Last time I stayed somewhere with a hot tub we were given the testing strips and the chlorine granules to test and treat as necessary ourselves.

I suppose it depends on the level of trust the host is prepared to put in their guests but I think those immediately calling 'pervert' are being overly suspicious/dramatic here.

Working as a teen in a small health club we had to check the hot tub multiple times a day, more often if there was a problem.

Im amazed that it would be possible to do it once a week and maintain correct levels, once a day seems more likely.

But seriously, check your terms and conditions, chances are there is something about it in there

It is normal for pools/jacuzzi’s to be checked/treated during a stay. Also have never been notified in advance or given a time. It takes all of 5 minutes or less and the pool man usually moves on to the next place.

@IWorkAtTheCheescakeFactory
It is a private holiday let but imagine if everyone had to check with guests each time a gardener/pool man has to call when they have to do 50 other gardens/pools per week. It doesn’t work like that. I am sure in the t&c’s it mentioned it. People claim compensation if pools/jacuzzi’s are not clean so any responsible rental owner would make sure it is done regularly and not wait for permission.

I wouldn't care tbh

If notice is given before booking, (or at least with the booking confirmation so you can cancel with full refund) then no problem. But OP seemed unaware it would be happening. Maybe she didn’t book it though and the Booker never checked or let her know.

Why should this home-owner be grumpy, I wonder? It's more usual for them to be pleased at finding two females partly clothed, particularly when said females were young enough to be embarrassed at being surprised in this way - unless of course his wife had said something about the urgency of him doing the water check yet again. Just an idea.

    I'm much older than OP and her sister, but really don't know much more about how one usually acts in these circumstances, but I wouldn't be pleased either and would definitely warn my friends about holidaying here.

What is the actual problem here?
He disturbed your day? You feel he was perving?

It’s not minimising your feelings when you ask if YABU and people tell you yes, YABVU

Honestly I'd see this as a total non-event.

Lots of holiday lets have their pools/hot tubs checked daily. They need a lot of maintenance and if they get out of balance they're a pain to recalibrate.

@Bluntness100
Quite an unusual response. I'm trying to imagine two sisters who like to sit alone naked in a hot tub together, and why you think if they were naked the man would still have done it, and not walked away.

My point, Bluntness, is that in a private space and particularly in a hot tub someone could have been naked, so not appropriate for a landlord to just let himself into the garden unannounced. HE didn't know who was going to be there or what state of undress they might have been in. By the time he realised it would have been too late.

@UmmH

My point, Bluntness, is that in a private space and particularly in a hot tub someone could have been naked, so not appropriate for a landlord to just let himself into the garden unannounced. HE didn't know who was going to be there or what state of undress they might have been in. By the time he realised it would have been too late.

Well said. I can't believe some of the minimising on here over peoples genuine feelings.

Feeling vulnerable and awkward and embarrassed and having people scoff and mock like it's nothing.

No wonder some women are afraid to report anything or say anything (when they feel violated or vulnerable or worried or threatened in any way!)

Just when you think we're moving on in leaps and bounds as a society, you realise we're not, and some people are stuck in the dark ages.

And @TotinEggs although saying YABU is not minimising peoples feelings and worries, some of the comments people have come out with IS minimising peoples feelings and worries.

@OxfordCat

Such a load of bollocks on this thread! Ignore pp trying to minimise your feelings OP. If in your gut it felt wrong / somewhat rude, or even slightly pervy, you are entitled to feel that way!

To those snotty pp saying "it's just like being on the beach" - no it isn't! The OP and her ds were not in a public place, they were in the back garden, quite reasonably expecting privacy.

To those saying "he's doing his job and probably thought you'd be out" - yes but once he entered the garden and saw that they were in the tub he would then have realised they were NOT out! And at that point a reasonable and polite person would have offered to come back later. Even better, as has been suggested, he could have a set time each day so guests are warned in advance.

All of this. Well said!

I bet the owner would not have come along to 'check the hot tub' if there had been 2 burly, hairy-arsed MALE rugby players in at the house. Two young 20-something females though??? Hmmmmm ....... yeah' let's just pop along and have a random impromptu visit with no warning eh?'

I wouldn't like this. We regularly go to a place with its own hot tub and are given a time when the staff will come to check the hot tub (usually early morning) so we can opt not to be in it at the time or we could make sure we are out altogether if we were so inclined. I figured this was standard practice.

YABU, men always have the right to enter a property you rent from them, with no notice, whenever they want, even if you're not fully dressed, and if you object you're precious, and over reacting to what is a total non event.
Get over yourself, the poor man was probably embarrassed when he was just doing his job!

Fuck me, this thread

For all these people saying so you're wearing a cossie, so what, you go to the beach don't you presumably the OP is aware other people are usually at the beach and doesn't have a (completely reasonable) expectation of privacy as she does here.

Wearing a swimming costume is more akin to underwear, partially naked/clothed especially if you're in a private space (and yes OP could well have been completely naked, in the pool or sunbathing) with every right to be doing this.

This is akin to housekeeping staff coming in your hotel room without knocking and thinking they're entitled to hoover while you're in your bra and knickers, or the landlord of a private let (which this actually is FFS) entering your property without any notice, whether you are in your underwear, dressed or naked and expecting this to be OK. Would people seriously be happy with that?

And people saying, well you should have said something - look at the replies on this fucking thread! No women don't feel able to speak up when their privacy is invaded and they are made to feel uncomfortable.

Well said @WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

Eh they weren't naked, and as the others had left, it's likely he thought they all had. He took a water sample and left, he didn't even need them to get out. I don't get all the hysteria.

Of course if they were naked he should have apologised and walked straight out, but they clearly weren't. No harm or foul was done here.

Stop digging @Bluntness100

Oh hysteria when a woman expresses she feels uncomfortable about a man's behaviour.

It's 2019. Women should be able to set their own boundaries and have them respected instead of having them belittled, mocked, minimised - and dismissed as fucking hysteria.

If, for example, my ever DD says she doesn't feel comfortable with a unexpected and uninvited man in her private space she is renting when she's not dressed, I sure as shit will be backing her up.

And also, equally as importantly, I'm making sure my DSs have the same respect for women and their boundaries.

If he dismissed something like this as "hysteria" I'd be deeply ashamed of him.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles But they didn't set any boundaries. They sat silent and waited for him to leave. He didn't know they minded at all. From the look of the thread, there's many people who wouldn't have minded, so it's not too unreasonable an assumption for him to make.

We had the exact same thing and they saw us in there and just did it quickly. They were very polite though.